


Wake up from a dreamer's sleep

by creativwritingmind



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Band Fic, Car Accidents, Clique - Freeform, Coma, Cutting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Psychological Trauma, Surreal, Survivor Guilt, fighting death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-03-12 07:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 82,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13542810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creativwritingmind/pseuds/creativwritingmind
Summary: There's not much hope left when Tyler and a young fan get injured in a car accident. Still the People around them refuse to believe that this is the end. And while they all pray, the two of them start fighting to wake up together...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this Needs a bit of explanation. First things first (damn Imagine Dragons ;)), I know there are ppl waiting for me to pick up my two major stories, but I'm sorry, I'm not there yet. I still struggle, but I miss writing and character development a lot, and so I decided to start this, another, longer Story.
> 
> I work differently here though, the chapters are Shorter then my usual ones and I'm already halfway through with the Story before I even post it. This way I want to guarrantee regular updates, which will be every 7 - 10 days. 
> 
> The Story starts out a little "hectic" which is totally wanted, I promise things calm down with time. 
> 
> Last things last, thank you all for your Patience with me. I hope you enjoy this one, as always I welcome critics and comments a lot. Oh, and if you'd like to leave kuddos...well...that's perfectly fine for me ;)

Snatching a pair of gloves out of the nearest box Dr. Carson rushed his way down the hallway towards the emergency entrance. Days like this sucked before they even had started fully, he thought, as he pulled the white plastic over his hands and braced himself inwardly for the arrival of the first crash victim, already going through the checklist in his head. By the time the doors flew open and the paramedics rushed the first stretcher in he was already in highdrive, years of praticed routine setting in and taking over his actions. Taking the oxygen bag over from the paramedic nearest to him Dr. Carson surveyed the bloody body on the stretcher while they rushed further down the corridor towards the emergency room. „Status?“ he barked, well knowing the professionals wouldn't mind him being rough, this was no situation where kindness was usefull...this was a race against time. „Male, about 30, dashed through the front window of a bus. We had to defibrillate him three times already. Major blood loss, multiple fractures. Not breathing.“ „Check. How many more?“ Giving him a quick gaze that said more then words the paramedic tried to catch his breath while they reached the room and pushed the stretcher inside. „About a dozen. It's like a war scene out there. There were two big buses and a few cars involved. As far as I know most of it non life threatening injuries. There's a girl in the ambulance behind us though, she's similar bad as this one.“ Nodding the doctor motioned the nurse to call for back up, before he gripped two hands full of the sheet under the smashed body and helped his team to raise the young man on the desk before him. Pulling out a flashlight and opening the patients lids to blaze in his eyes Carson cursed fullheartly as he recognised blood trickling out the mans ears. „Shannon, call the boss! We need the surgery ASAP!“ 

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ONE HOUR EARLIER

„...to know, when I fell, you'll still be there, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....“ Sandra and Jill sang on top of their lungs, their car radio amped to the highest volume possible, ignoring the rude stare the old man in the car beside them gave and breaking into chuckling once his stop light went green and he drove on. Turning down the music a bit Jill gave her little sister a big grin and concentrated on the road before her again. She could feel her tiredness pulling on her eyelids, but was determined to drive through the last few miles until they would get a hotel. It had been a long day, starting to drive from her college dorm about two hours before she picked up the younger at her parents house, and then absolving five more to get to the next big city their boths most beloved band would play in the next day. The tickets had been a present Jill had given her sister for her thirdteenth birthday, and both of the girls couldn't wait to see Twentyone Pilots live for the first time. „Do you think they'll do too? I'd be so bummed if they don't!“ Sandra squeeked excited, being hyperactive the whole drive through, as she was totally nervous about her first real concert. Smiling to herself Jill made sure to look in the rear mirror before she overtook a car and sighed. „I'm sure they will, Sandy. It's part of the medley and I can't see why Tyler should leave it out.“ „Can we go to the venue real early? Like....right away?“ „Nope. First of all I need to sleep and second I promised mum that we will not wait in the cold for hours.“ „Aw, come on, we'll never get barricade if we don't!“ „Honestly I'm not sure we should at all....I'm more aiming for B stage.“ „Oh, that could be cool too! We can see Josh.....“ 

Jill wondered why she couldn't hear her sister anymore for the split of a second, before her brain catched up and she realised what was happening. Being pushed foreward she hit the steering wheel with her front, the piercing shrill sound of Sandras scream ripping through her ears just in time with the pain explodig behind her eyes. The car began to spin, slowly first, faster and faster soon, till it came to a halt with a major bang against a massive object. The last thing Jill recognised before she went dark was the bus she saw turning sideway on the highway behind them and sliding towards them with menacing high speed. 

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„Shannon! We need more blood bags!“ Dr. Carson yelled at his nurse, his hands burried deep inside the patients now opened abdomen. „Mike! Come over here and compress that artery! We need to stop the bleeding soon or we're loosing him!“ There was a strange sort of calm hectic around him, one that soothed his nerves and the doctor was glad to know that today there were only his most trained stuff present, no students or newbies around. Accidents like this, that claimed multiple casualties were hard to handle if there where people who had to be told what to do exactly instead of the ones he just had to command around. Turning to the desk beside him, where his boss was already working on the girl that had been brought in only a few minutes after the man, Carson could see the veins on the older doctors forehead standing out. „How's it going over there?“ „Smooth. She's dying under my hands!“ the other barked back, using the strange kind of dark humour they always went to in situations like this to protect themselves. „Fuck! Not much better over here!“ Turning back to his patient Dr. Carson looked down on the man's face, now cleaned of blood after the nurse had dragged a washcloath over it and felt his breath hitch. „Oh no!“ he thought. He new this one. He had seen that boy on the posters in his daughters rooms over and over. Right in front of him lay Tyler Joseph, the lead singer of his kids most loved band. 

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ONE HOUR EARLIER

„Oh come on Ty! That's not fair!“ Josh whined while he sticked his head out of his bunk to look up to his best friends above him. Not impressed the slightest Tyler shrugged, not even taking the effort to change his position. Instead he stayed at his back and started another round of the stupid smartphone game they were currently trying to kill time with, a slight smirk playing around his lips. „There's no fairness in love and games!“ „You're just saying that because you suck at both!“ „Hey, who's the married one around here?“ „Pure coincidence! I'm still convinced you drugged Jenna that day!“ „Now you're getting mean, sir!“ Huffing Josh let himself fall back into the matress and declined the game request on his screen, loosing interest in it after having lost about thirty times. „Josh, don't be mad!“ his best friends voice appeared right above him, now Tyler being the one who sticked his head out and let it hang down so he could see the other better. „Only one more, ok bro?“ „Nope.“ „Joshie!“ „Nohoooo!“ „Jishwa!“ „Not happening!“ „J-bear!“ „Frick you!“

Sighing Tyler swung his feet out of his bunk and hopped out of his crumped space, stretching his muscles and yawning shamelessly. „Not even if I get you a coke?“ „It's two in the morning, I don't do coke at that time!“ „No rockstar livestyle, hm?“ „Totally rockstar lifestyle! Bring me a yoohoo!“ „Commanding much?“ „You love it!“ „Pffffft!“ Turning his back on the drummer Tyler started to make his way towards the front of the bus, stopping by the little restroom to relieve himself, before wandering to the kitchen and grabbing two bottles out of the fridge, making a mental note to fill it up on their next stop. He was about to turn and head back to his grumpy drummer when he suddenly lost balance, the bottles sliding out of his hands and smashing on the floor while his arms flew to the side and searched for halt instinctivly. They didn't find one though and Tyler felt himself being pushed to the front of the bus by nothing then air and the force of the impact, as the bus smashed into the cars. „So that's how it ends!“ was his last thought before he went dark, while his body broke through the front window.

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„GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!!“ „Mr. Dun, you need to calm down, we need to look after your injuries!“ Holding his hands in a defensive manner the young doctor tried to take the hostility out of the situation, well recognising that the two strong nurses had already taken their places behind the patients back, ready to grab him and bring him down if he was trying to attack. „WHERE IS HE? WHERE THE FUCK IS TYLER?“ Shooting the male nurses a glance the doctor payed heet to sound as calm as he could. „I have no information about Mr. Joseph currently, Mr. Dun, but I promise I'll update you as soon as I can! Now please let me....“ Being pushed to the ground by a body colliding with his the young doctor gave a hiss and crawled away from his attacker, while the nurses gripped the mans arms and pulled him back on the stretcher, securing the leather belts waiting there around his body so he couldn't move anymore. Josh was out of his mind though and wouldn't stop trashing and yelling. „FUCKING ASSHOLES! SON OF A BITCH! LET ME GO!“ he kept spitting venom, frightning Mark, who stood at the doorframe, his hand clapsed thightly around it, to death. The videographer flinched when he felt a hand on his arm, looking down at a nurse that gave him a sad, but warm smile. „I'm afraid we'll have to sedate him. That may sound drastic, but we need to check up on his injuries to make sure he's not damaged to a life threatning point.“

Feeling completly numb inside Mark nodded, not even realising how she let her fingers slid a little deeper and checked up on the bone standing out of his arm. „What's your name?“ she asked calmly, studying his face as to make sure if he was alright. „Mark.“ the videographer whispered, his lips moving automatically. Everything felt weired, toned down, as if he was packed into cotton, disconnected from the world around him. „Ok, Mark, listen, my colleagues are real good trained people, they will take care of your friend. Can you please come with me? I just need a few dates and I'd like to see you sit down a bit, ok?“ Nodding absently Mark let himself being guided out of the room, the last few cries of the drummer following him until it suddenly went silent and the nurse sighed. „He's out now, he will be ok, I promise!“ she said friendly, steering him down the hall to a small room where she made him sit down and handed him a glass of water. Starring at the cool surface Mark realised how small circles formed on it, how the water began to rise. Still it took him a little to understand what caused it, that he had begun to shake, that his whole body was trembling. And that was when the pain set in. A sharp sting exploded in his right arm and as he looked down he felt pile rising in his throat immediatly. „Oh my god“ he exclaimed, realising that it was broken, the world going fuzzy now around him. Looking at him knowingly the nurse made him ly down and took the glass from him. „You're in shock Mark! Try to ly still and breath, slowly in and out.....and in.....and out.....and in....“

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ONE HOUR EARLIER

Marks legs nearly gave out under him when he jumped out of the bus that stood at the sideline of the highway. Luckily their driver had been able to avoid to crash into the bus of the bandmates before them, but the aprupt halt he had to do had brought the most of them down to the floor. He could hear the other crewmembers groaning and yelling at each other behind him, but all he could focus on was the sight of mayham right before his eyes. There were a huge pile of metal, not to differe into different cars anymore, lights flashing through the night and others flickering. What got him most though was the silence that filled the air around the crashside, even if only for a few moments. There was a yell of a girl that started the acoustic war on his mind, a helpless plead to „OH GOD! GET HER OUT! PLEASE,. GET MY SISTER OUT!“ that soon was accomponied with people yelling names or checking up on each other. Mark went into action though when there was a familiar voice in the chaos, highpitched and full of panic, leading the way to the person that it belonged to. In seconds he was beside what was left of the tourbus and tried frantically to open the rear door, which worked after a few moments, just to be greated with Josh bursting through it and taking a run to the front, crying out „TYLER!“ over and over. 

Not missing a beat Mark followed him, both of them crawling over sharp metal edges, ripping their clothes open, but honestly, he couldn't care less in that moment, even more when the most terrible sight caught his eyes. About a hundret feet in front of them, even beyond the mass of metal, a body lay on the floor, the limps strangly tangled into each other, appearing broken, shifted somehow. It was more Joshs scream then the sight itself that told him they had found their friend and Mark felt his body moving like in trance as he closed the distance between him and the singer on the floor and fell on his knees beside him. „DON'T MOVE HIM!“ he yelled at Josh, pushing his arms to the side trying to shield Tyler with his own body so his frantically crying bandmate couldn't do more harm then already was done. Checking up on Tylers puls with shaking hands Mark hissed, starting something he had learned years ago and nearly forgotten. He gently rolled the singer over to his back, opened his mouth and removed some broken teeth, before he lowered his own on it and blew air into the lifeless body beyond him two times. Straightening up again he shifted to the others chest, placed his wrists on it's middle and started to pump while he counted, slowly and steady, the rythm soothing his running thoughts somehow. Joshs screams had turned into whimpers, he now cradled his best friends head between his thighs, running his fingers through the bloddy hair, praying to god to not take Tyler away from them.

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„Brad!“ Turning around the photographer felt relieved to see some of the other crewmembers coming towards him. Nearly everyone of them had a cast or bandage somewhere on there body, but at least they were walking, what he counted as a plus. Stepping towards him Snider met his gaze, taking a deep breath before he pulled the question that lay on everyones lips. „How are they?“ Biting his lip Brad fought the tears he felt, he was not one to cry in front of other people, and he certainly not planned to start with it now. „Mark is ok so far, he has a broken arm and quite a shock but the nurse said he'll be fine. They had to sedate Josh to even get to check up on him, he wen't totally crazy and attacked the doctor.“ Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes for a moment, before he continued with a shaky voice. „Tyler is in surgery right now. They...they don't know if he'll make it.“ A gravely silence washed over them then, the whole group starring at the ground, the wall, somewhere, anywhere but not each other. Jordan reached out his hand and patted Brads shoulder, realising that the other wouldn't be able to do what had to be done. „I'm calling Jenna.“ he whispered in time with the first tear falling down Brads face.

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Crying uncontrollably Jill sat in the corner of the waiting room, her arms slung around her knees. The moment of the accident played in her mind over and over and the image of her sister being stuck and bloody beside her wouldn't leave her mind. She had been able to escape their car unharmed, what was unbelieveable, as the bus had smashed it into pieces and her little sister was injured so badly. Jill knew the doctors had called her parents and they would be there soon, but right then she felt alone, like the only person in the world, being left out in a room full of people. There was hectic around her, other relatives she assumed, but noone seemed to notice her, no one came over to help. Burrying her face in her knees she sobbed, for god knew how long, until she felt cried dry, until exhaustion took her over and made her slumb to the side. Being deep asleep Jill didn't feel when she was lifted and placed at a stretcher. The nurse brushed her sweaty hair out of her front and gave her a painfull look. „Sleep well, sweety....you'll need it, I'm afraid.“ 

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ONE HOUR AGO

„OH GOD! GET HER OUT! PLEASE,. GET MY SISTER OUT!“ Jill yelled on top of her lungs, trying to rip the passanger door of what had once been her car open. She had a sudden flash of a memory, suddenly stood in her parents driveway, her father handing her the keys, telling her a „Happy Birthday!“ and smiling when she jumped in his arms of joy. It was cruely replaced with the sight of her little sister trapped in the pile of metal, her head slumbed against the glass, blood running all over her face. „PLEASE! PLEASE HELP ME!“ Jill cried, her face drowned in tears as she powerless hit the glass over and over, hoping it would break, would give way to save the girl she loved so much. But it held, while everything around them was broken, and Jill felt like going insane. She couldn't tell how long it took for people to recognize her. She didn't even feel the strong arms that were placed around her shoulders and yanked her back, so the firefighters could get to the car. Falling back into a strangers embrace Jill broke, shook violently, repeating „Oh god....not her....please not her!“ over and over again. 

„It's ok, we're here to help now...I need you to calm down...come on, let's go over there!“ the paramedic told her, dragging her away from the crashside, although the girl kicked and screamed, tried to get out of his hold. Only when they reached the ambulance and he set her down Jill gave up, fell to her knees and cried, whimpering and terrified. The man knelt down beside her, worry written all over his face. „Listen...they will get her out and as soon as that happens we'll bring her to the hospital. I'll make sure you can stay with her on the way, I promise. Do you understand that?“ Jill took a moment before she nodded, looking up at him through glaced eyes. „Will she die? Will my little sister die?“ Biting his lip the paramedic took a look at the scene behind them. „I can't promise you she won't. But we'll try.“


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> out of a personal request of a friend of mine, who told me that the Story only starts to make sense from the second chapter on, I post this chapter earlier. From now on I'll stick to my rythm.

The tree was black, the only change of colour in the wide spread dessert before her eyes. It was the fith, she guessed, although the same time the thought reached her perception she realised that she didn't know how long she had been starring at the scenery flying by the window like this. Maybe it had been ligthning cutting the trunk into halfs, maybe the crash still ringing in her ears had been the bolt seperating it. Lazyly the girl turned her head, fighting against the tiredness benumbing her movements, let her eyes cast over the small room she found herself in. Was it even a room? Somehow she felt like she was moving, but she clearly sat in a soft seat, one that was as grey as the outside, as grey as everything surrounding her seemed to be. Everything except of the trees. Shaking her head confused the girl tried to lift her hand to her head, she felt like she should, but she just couldn't do it, it was way too arduos, so she left it be. Instead she focused all her strength on thinking, on getting the fragments in her head in place. What day was it? Or was it night? Marveling that question for a while she realised the precense of noise from one second to the other, and once she had heared the constant hum the vibrating floor under her feet gave, she couldn't unhear it anymore. It wasn't even though, there where little hightlights in it, regular dark pitches....katung....katung....katung. 

The girl searched for a word in her brain, one she knew that was there, but that just didn't wanted to slip down onto her tongue, not until she forced it there. „Ta...“ someone said, and again it took her so long to realise it was her own voice, dry and broken, that had pushed out the syllabe. Closing her eyes for a second as she was tired, oh so tired, she gathered the last energy left and tried again. „Tra...Train!“ she stuttered, before she fell asleep again.

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The pain exploded behind his eyes, and maybe that was what woke him. Shooting up the man grapped the nearest handle he could find and tried to stable himself, one of his hands shooting up to his head, palm pressing against his pulsating front. Another flash of pain brought him down on the floor again, but this time on his knees, while he clasped his head in both of his hands, pressing his lids shut, trying to bear the torture. Taking deep, slow breaths he waited until it subsided, endlessly grateful as it did, as what had woken him up so rude vanished, and only the dull memory of the sudden migraine lingered in the tensed muscles of his neck. Sticking to his breathing rythm he took the first look around, tried to identify where he was. Everything seemed off, like in a movie, like a theatralic scenery, wrung out of colour. Something about shades of grey flew through his mind, some nonsense he felt, but he couldn't grasp it. Irritated he shook his head and tried to get up once more. It was easier this time to stable himself, although he felt like he was moving, but not like walking, more like being moved, with everything around him, all together. His vision cleared slowly, and he started to take in the surroundings, more defined now, a row of grey, soft seats, stretching all the way down the small aisle, in the strange square room he was in. 

It reminded him of something, but he couldn't grasp what it was, the shadow of a word lingering in his head, but hiding from his will. He took a few steps foreward, inbetween the row of seats, one at a time, carefully waiting if there wasn't another headache coming. It stayed away though, so he got more brave, setting his foots faster and harder to the ground. Reaching the end of the room, finding a door there he turned a little, a movement catching his eye. There where windows all around, something he hadn't recognized yet and he walked over, leaning heavy on the seat beside it as he was drained of energy by only that few steps he took. The landscape outside was nothing all to impressing though, endless grey sand under a grey sky, only intermittent by a tree here and there, black, ruptured trunks standing lonely and broken in the middle of nothing. There was not a single familiar point in all of this, everything felt wrong, off track. Track...repeating the word in his head, not realising that there was no sound when he moved his lips he suddenly understood what this might be. A train. Going nowhere. And he seemed to be trapped.

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Closing his eyes and leaning his head against the cold, clinical white wall Snyder listened to the rings on the other side of the line. He hadn't expected Jenna to pick up right away, it was late evening home in Ohio, and she was probably asleep or out with friends. It had only been a few days since she left the baggage to check up on her and Tylers new home, and given the rule the both of them had set for time being appart she would have been back with them this weekend. Jordan sniffed, thinking about how she and the singer had said goodby, they were so in love still, although they shared their lives since years. The sleepfilled, lightly raspy voice of the blonde finally clinked in his ear, giving him a confused: „Snyder? What's wrong?“ because of course she knew right away this was not a normal call. „I...Jen....“ wrestling for words he gasped, feeling his throat closing up. Jordan had thought he'd be the one best collected, calm for this, but he learned quickly that there was no way to not get overwhelmed by this situation. Reaching for his throat he nearly began to panic, when he heared her voice again, clearer, louder now this time. „Breath with me....one...two...three...“ Nearly starting to cry he realised that was a natural reaction for Jenna, she was used to ground her husband whenever his mind took him out and made it difficult for him to breath. It worked though, helped him find his voice again, and sounding hurt and frightened he tried again. „Jenna...something happened. Something real bad happened.“ 

There was silence on the other side of the line, not panic as he assumed. Jordan could picture her sitting in her bed, blond strains of hair falling in her face, listening strained to what he had to say. „We...there was an accident on the way to the venue. Someone caused a crash on the highway...their bus...they...“ another wave of nausea hit him and again Jenna calmed him down, just by telling him he was doing fine, he was good, everything would be ok. „The driver couldn't stop...he hit the crashed cars. Tyler...he must have gotten up to get a drink or something...he...“ Flashes of memorys ruptured his sight and Snyder started to cry, but battled through it. „Jen...he was catapulted through the front window of the bus....they...Mark and Josh...they were with him in an instant...they...kept him alive until the ambulance came.“ There was a change in her demanour on that, although it still wasn't what he had expected, Jenna just seemed to get more focused, a little more demanding. „Is he alive?“ she asked, slowly, with a strange coldness in her voice. „Yeah, yeah he is. He's in surgery still though. The doctors asked us...“ a sob broke his sentence, „they asked us to call his family in as soon as possible. They are not sure if he will make it.“ Again, silence, no cry of despair, no curses, no tears. Just aweful, minutelong silence. 

„Snyder? Are you still there?“ „Yeah!“ he breathed, still standing with his front on the wall, eyes closed. „Josh? Mark? The others?“ „Everyone's fine so far. They had to put Josh to sleep though, he freaked out because they wouldn't tell him what's going on.“ „Ok...here's what you are going to do: You'll go and book a hotel. Tell everyone who s allowed to leave the hospital to go there. You all need rest, desperatly, take care of them for me, will you, Snyder?“ Being deeply moved by her calmness, the way she took lead although she had just learned the love of her life might be about to die he nodded, unaware she couldn't see him. „Hey, talk to me!“ „Yes...yes I will.“ Releasing a breath she got on. „Good. Do that as soon as we hang up. I m calling his parents. We'll take the next plane. Make sure to send me the hospitals contacts so I can talk to them. Tyler has an advance directive that makes me being in charge of every medical treatment he get's in a case like this. I'll take care of him. You take care of our people.“ Crying openly now the young man slumbed against the wall, slid down until he was on his knees. „Snyder...“ still Jennas voice was steady, a rock in the raging sea. „He will be ok. Tyler won't die. I'm not allowing it. I won't let him go.“

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There was not a single emotion in his soul, not the split of a feeling in his heart when Marks bed was pushed into another room, his arm now resting on his chest in a cast. The nurse had done her best to keep him save, and she had done a great job, still he felt like he was disconnected to himself, to the world at common. Before she left him she had told him that he'd stay over night, they didn't want to risk to let him go with the others as they feared the side effects of the massive shock he had gotten, and not being able to protest he just had let it happen. Brad had waved at him, trying to smile through his tears as the nurses pushed his bed by the waiting crew. Mark didn't even look at him. There was no point in seeing the others pain when he wasn't able to deal with his own. The room was silent, a little cold, but he didn't care about that too much. They had apologized that they couldn't get him a spare room, as there were so many injured, but the other person in the room was fast asleep, so he didn't mind that much either. There had been something in the shot they gave him, he was sure, as he felt calm, too calm for the way his mind was still racing, but Mark was grateful that they had done that. There was no way he could deal with this sober. 

Sitting up carefully and running his good hand over his face he breathed deeply, averting to close his eyes. He didn't want to see the memory flashing, the way Tylers skin had grown grey under his gaze, how the singers cracked ribs broke under his hands when he reanimated his friend. Someone had told him somewhen in the last hour, that Tyler would have been dead already, if he hadn't reacted fast and great like this. Mark couldn't feel proud on that though. He felt nothing.

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Pushing the door to the staffs' room open Dr. Carson ripped the coat off his shoulders and trashed it into the nearest clothbin, before he slumbed down on the stool beside his boss. There were a few others of their helpers sitting with them at the table, but none of them spoke a word. Moments like this sucked, they all knew. For now, they had won the fight, but from this point on, there was no way to activly help their patients anymore. Time would tell what fate decided to do with them. „What do you think?“ Carson asked nonthless, just because he never had been able to stand silence, just because he needed a little glimpse of hope from time to time. „Honestly?“ his boss sighed, drowning a cup of coffee as if it was water, „The kiddo might have chances. The guy...well, you know how these things work. We can repair their body....but who knows where their minds are at right now.“ 

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Josh woke up crying, his brain not granting him a second of confussion, but throwing the knowledge right at him. He couldn't move as he was still bound to the bed, but the drummer lacked the strength to do that anyway. All he could was lying there and stare at the ceiling, at a crack that ran over it from one wall to the other, just like the crack that ran through his life now and threatened to turn into an abyss. He wasn't in pain, he assumed it was due to the infusion they had placed beside him, a cold sharp needle sticking in his vein, transporting chemicals into his blood, giving him the illusion of being fine. Josh didn't knew how badly he was injured, and he didn't care. He was alive, he was breathing. Tyler hadn't been. And that broke his heart, over and over and over again, while he lay wheeping in the dark silence, muffled noises of people passing his room by on the outside of the door. It took him long to recognise the little remote that was placed beside his right hand, close enough so he could reach it although he was strapped down. Taking it with numb fingers he pushed the button, waiting for what would happen, and being relieved as only a few moments later the door opened and the doctor that he had tackled walked in. Trying to sit up Josh pushed against his restrains, but fell back, nearly going into panic again, but the doctor was beside him in no time, touched his arm, a human contact that was grounding in a way. „Mr. Dun! Please just lay still...you've some broken rips and a delocated shoulder. I will remove the restrains, but only if you promise me to stay down.“ Studying the drummers face intently the doctor sighed pleased as his patient nodded, dark, painfilled eyes starring at the ceiling again. Slowly the man removed one strap after the other, well knowing that being restrained would just trigger panic attacks for his patient. „There we go, just the ones on your feet now, ok?“ he resisted to set the drummer free completly, still unsure how much the man paniced. 

„Y...Yeah...“ Josh croaked out, another wave of tears rushing down his face, an endless flow of salty water, getting less and more in shifts, but never fully running dry. „Good. Do you want to try to sit up a bit? Are you thirsty?“ the doctor asked, making room for the nurse that had followed him into the room so she could take of the controlls on the bed for them. While he was raised to a half seating position by the automatic bed Josh tried to speak, but his throat was too dry, he only managed a few undefinable words and the doctor shook his head. „Take it slow...here, drink first!“ he ordered and helped the drummer to get a few sips of water, that instantly opened the closed up voice. „My friend...is he...“ not able to end the sentence Josh tried to fight the crying but couldn't, his vision going blurry again. Placing a hand on his shoulder the doctor looked down at him sympathically. „You're lucky. Normally I wouldn't be allowed to tell you anything, but Mrs. Joseph did send us a warrant that allows me to inform you about everything regarding her husband.“ The mention of her name just broke another dam in the drummer. He didn't even want to begin to think about how Jenna must felt right now, when he was so frightened and shocked himself. Keeping his professional, but still empathic voice the doctor sat down beside him and made sure to make eye contact. „Listen...I won't ly to you. Your friend is in a very critical state. He had a lot of internal injuries and lost way more blood then it's good for. We were able to stable him for now...but we had to set him into an artifical coma. Right now he's not breathing on his own, and we can't tell when and if that will change. I can assure you that everyone on our staff is working their hardest to help him...but I'm afraid all we can do for now is pray.“

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It was then when he learned that he was mute. First he had tried to open the door by rattling at the handle, but it had broke, fell to his feet and instantly turned to dust. He had wanted to curse out loud, to take the anger off his chest, but nothing was sounding when he moved his lips, all that came out his mouth was dead air. It shook him deep to his core, made him stumble back and grip his throat, as he frantically tried to speak, to yell, anything. Shaking all over he gave up after a while, accepting that this might be a major problem, but by far not his worst right now. So he had turned to the door again. There was pain in his ankle when he kicked the metal, one, two three times, but it wasn't as strong as the satisfaction when the door gave in. It was ripped out of it's angles and fell to the floor, dissapearing as well, but right then he didn't have the concentration to find that strange. His head was like a puddle, thoughts bubbling to the surface but sinking into the chaos right away again, the only thing he could controll his movements. Cautiously he sticked his head through the now open entrance to see what lay beneath, and was greated with the same environment he found behind him. A square room, all in grey, seats and windows, another door. Furrowing his brows he walked on, repeated his actions all over, the handle braking between his fingers this time, vanishing before it even could hit the ground. He used his shoulder to open this one, as his foot still hurted, again it took a few tries until he managed to break the door open. Breathing shakingly he closed his eyes for a moment, hoping that this dream, this nightmare was about to end, but when he stepped foreward nothing changed. Seats, Windows, door, grey. Feeling panic rising the man started to run, slammed against the entrance with force and it broke away much easier this time, only to lead him into another of this seemingly endless scenes. And he ran on.

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„You can't be serious! I want to see my kids NOW!“ the woman hissed at the nurse, clearly trying to be intimidating, but more looking lost and broken with her red rimmed eyes and pale face. The young nurse gave her a smile, regardless to the way she was approached. She knew relatives seldom were able to controll themselves in situations like this, so she didn't take it to her heart to be treated so rudely. „Mrs. Banks, your older daughter is asleep right now and I'm not allowed to let you go into intensive care before you've seen the doctor. He's already on the way and will be there for you shortly, he'll answer all your questions and then you can go see your kids.“ Wanting to start another rant the woman was stopped by her husband, taking her in his arms and pulling her close. „Sydney, come on, she's right. I'm sure they do what they can for them right now, we need to be patient!“ A sob ripped through her body as she went limp beside him and he pulled her close, placing a kiss on her temple. „It's ok love...it's ok.“ Giving the nurse a nod he mouthed a „Thank you!“ and led his wife back into the waiting room, finding to seats in the farest corner, pulling her even closer into him. „Listen, Sydney...Jill and Sandy are good kids...god won't take them away from us. I'm sure they'll live through this!“ „That damn concert!“ the woman replied, her speech slurred by her pain, „This fucking damn band! I should have never allowed them to go there! I should have say no! I shouldn't have heared when you tried to convine me!“ Sighing Mr. Banks placed his chin on his wifes head, watching how other people stepped in and out of the waiting room, some of them smiling, some carrying the same pain in their faces as he felt in his heart. „Shhhh....they'll be ok, Sydney. They'll be ok!“ he tried to ly to her and himself. In fact he felt like it was him who had signed their tragedy when he allowed his older daughter to buy the tickets. 

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Leaning back into the seat Jenna tried to swallow the nausea that always hit her when a plane took off. Over the years on Tylers side she had learned to deal with it though, flying was a constant part of their lives and by time she had gotten used to the side effects. Normally she would have started her laptop now, watching a silly movie, while he would have been setting up his vacation keyboard on the desk beside her, new melodies and lyrics always on his mind, every second he breathed. Letting her hand strife over the empty seat beside her Jenna wondered if she would return home just like this, alone. Refusing to give up hope she turned her head and looked out of the window, into the endless blue sky. She would stick to what she had said to Jordan, though. She was determined to not let her husband die.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, writing this works way too well...posting to soon and still 7 chapters ahead XD. Hope you like...

„Ok, the flights are booked. Are you sure you're not going with us?“ Snyder asked, looking at the man beside him out of the corner of his eye. Brad starred into the air before them, his hand thightly clasped around his camera. For the span of the morning he had done nothing else then view the pictures he had taken on the last show over and over, like it would help him to understand what happened or go back to that moment somehow. He didn't answer verbally, just with a slight shake of his head and Jordan was unsure if he had heared him at all. „Hey, man, did you understand me? The crew is going back home this evening...see...I get that you don't want to leave them...but right now there's nothing we can do. Josh and Mark will stay here for sure, Jenna is already on the way and Chris and Kelly will arrive tomorrow. It's...not necessary for us to stay here and wait. We can do that at home too.“ Ignoring his advice Brad stood up and walked over to the window, looking out into the rainy, unusual cold day. „We should tell them.“ he stated, his voice surprisingly clear for the way his gaze seemed far into other worlds. Not quiet sure what he meant Jordan cocked his head to the side. „The fans? I think their management did a statement already.“ „I don't mean a fucking statement, I'm talking about the truth.“ Slightly worried the younger stood up and walked beside the photographer, watching the raindrops sliding down the window. „I'm not sure if Tyler would have approved that.“ „You know damn well how important they are to him. He wants them to know, I'm sure.“ 

Turning his head to study the other from the side Snyder pondered to let it be, but decided against it. Brad was at a breaking point since the moment they had left the hospital and the sooner he got his desperation out of his system, the better it would be, he thought. „See...I know this is what he would have wanted. But..things are different now.“ He wasn't prepared for the force the answer came with and stumbled back a few steps as Brad turned, spitting a hatefull „FUCKING STOP TO TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE HE'S DEAD ALREADY!“ towards him. „Brad...“ trying to controll the shaking that took a hold of him Jordan did not back down though, held his ground, „I get it, it hurts. Don't you think I'm fucking desperate too? But...technically...Tyler IS dead.“ It was a mixture of a groan and a cry with that Brad shot foreward and pushed the smaller one into the wall, grabbing his collar and slamming his head against the hard surface in time with the words he hissed at his face from inches away. „I SAID FUCKING STOP THAT!“ They froze in this position, Snyder starring wide eyed at the other, but not replying, releasing a breath though when Brad snapped another „FUCK YOU!“ and released him from his grip, before he went back to the bed and picked his camera up again. None of them had been able to not share tears in the past few hours and so Jordan didn't even try to avoid the wetness covering his face again when he spoke, quiet and sad. „It's not the first time I'm seeing this, Brad. A friend of mine had an accident when we were sixteen. Mason never recovered from that. He suffered for years before they decided to stop the machines. Tyler is not breathing. There's no sign of brain function. I'll always be up for a miracle...but I think we better prepare for the worst.“ 

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There was no transition between the blackness of her dream and the moment she woke up again. It was like blinking and suddenly having sight. A grey, dismal sight. The girl sat for a while, breathing even, before she felt like her brain was able to work. So she was still here, in a train, going somewhere appearently. The landscape outside hadn't changed as well and slowly it dawned her that she might need to get moving if she wanted to find out what was going on. Only, she couldn't. First she tried to raise her hand again, like she had done the first time she woke up, but not even with all of her willpower she managed to move the pale, long fingers, laying on her thight. Panic-striken she tried her other hand, with the same outcome. „No!“ she screamed, frantically trying to get her feet of the floor, or stand up, or fall foreward, but anything except turning her head seemed not working, and starting to cry the girl slowly realised that she was paralyzed, trapped. How long it took her to calm down she did not know, it seemed to be hours until she was able to grasp a halfway clear thought again. Trying to be logical she did the best thing that came to her mind and started to yell, send some „Hello?“s and „Help me!“s out to the empty room she was in, the row of grey seats only responding with phlegm. Cursing to herself she tried harder, „HELLO? PLEASE....IS THERE SOMEONE? ANYBODY?“ but her words only fell on deaf ears of exanimate things, her tears falling down on hands and feet that could not feel.

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„....and, what was the most servere problem, a rupture in one of the main arteries. We were able to fix that, but your husband lost a lot of blood and his system shut down to the point where all it does is keeping his heart beating. At the moment he's mechanically ventilated, as his lungs aren't functioning. Unfortunatly I can't give you a span of time when this will change...I can't even tell you if this will ever change at all.“ Closing the report in front of him Dr. Carson took off his glasses and leaned back in his seat, observing the woman in front of him. He had been surprised that his patients wife was so collected, but there was no point in questioning that. Relatives tended to react in ways that lay outside what people might think was normal, and maybe her calmness was just another unusual reaction to a situation like this. Jenna Joseph nodded slowly, sucking her bottom lip in between her teeth for a moment before she met his eyes. „Dr. Carson...I need you to be honest with me. Is there any chance that Ty will wake up again?“ He wished he would have been able to not turn his gaze on the desks plate for a moment, as he realised that that was more answer then his words would ever be, still the doctor couldn't avoid it. „Well...it's not impossible. There are a few cases patients woke up again after having no brain funcion for years. But...seen from a factual standpoint...the chances are very low. I'm sorry.“ 

Bracing for a breakdown and reaching for the box of tissues beside him Dr. Carson was again surprised as the blonde stood up and reached across the desk, shook his hand with a thight grip. „I thank you for your time. May I see my husband now?“ „Of course! I'll tell Shannon to lead you down there. You need to change into hospital clothes though, intensive care unit needs to be a germ-free environment.“ „Of course. Again, thank you.“ Stepping out of the warmly furnished office into a white, annonymous hallway Jenna took a moment to lean her back against the wall and take a deep breath. She had been prepared for this, Marks and Snyders texts warning her beforehand, still it ripped her heart into a million pieces. Knowing she should be desperate, maybe go insane, Jenna couldn't help but being strong then though, as she knew exactly that was what everyone needed right now. It wouldn't have helped Tyler at all if she freaked out, nor Josh or the others who were hit by this tragedy. „Mrs. Joseph?“ a relucant voice broke her trail of thoughts and she opened her eyes again, finding a nurse standing now beside her. „My name is Shannon. If you'll follow me please?“ Nodding slightly Jenna started to walk with her then, from the bureau part of the building down into the emergency wing, passing by people lying on beds and waiting for their turn, relatives wandering up and down in the waiting room. There was a couple that catched her eye, a woman with her head lying on her husbands shoulder, the man softly kissing her face and it left a sting inside of her, as the memory of Tylers way to do exactly that stroke her mind. Turning her head away quickly she made sure to close up to the nurse, that lead her into a washroom, where she asked her to remove her clothes and handed her some hospital prooven ones. „I'll be right back, take your time and please wash your hands like described no that paper.“ Shannon gave her a encouraging smile and left. 

About fifteen minutes later she reappeared, seemingly pleased with Jennas ministrations, and led the blonde down another hallway, ending in front of red painted, automatic doors. „No entrance! Staff only!“ stood there in neon latters and Jenna felt like entering the gates of hell as Shannon pushed a code into the panel beside them and the doors swung open. Walking by a few rooms, all of them appointed with large windows, so the patients could be supervised at any time, Jenna took in the persons lying in the beds liveless, sourrounded by tubes. She nearly ran into the nurse that had stopped on a window a little further from her, as her gaze was pinned to a girl, that didn't seem to be more then maybe fourteen years old, her fragile thin body punctured by needles and surrounded by machines. Ripping her eyes away from her Jenna starred at Shannon, who motioned with her head before she reached out and placed her hand on the younger womans arm. „There we are. Do you need me to come with you?“ she asked friendly, already knowing the answer though. This woman didn't look like she'd need someone to hold her, Shannon decided. She more looked like she wanted to face the tragedy alone. „No...no, thank you.“ Jenna declined, waiting patiently until the nurse vanished, not before telling her that she would be down in the staff room, ready to be there whenever something was needed. Only when Shannon was out of side the blonde slowly turned towards the window, placing one of her hands on the glass. 

The first thing she recognised was how pale he was. Tyler had always held a natural tan, given his ancestors, but now his skin was snow white, matching the clinical sheets he lay on. He was stripped, his bare chest laying free, tubes going into his torso, they relieved the pressure she had been told. His face was peacefull, somehow, his long lashes falling over each other, as if he just were fast asleep, his mouth was violently kept open though by the oral airway that kept pushing oxygen into his lungs with rythmically swooshes from the machine beside him. Jenna took some time to take in the picture, before she stepped foreward, placed her hand on the handle and opened the door. 

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Mark turned his head when the girl in the bed beside him started to steer. He had been killing time by playing silly games on his phone, trying to distract him from his own thoughts and strictly avoiding going to the internet. By now, the clique must have learned, and he was not looking foreward to see their reactions. The heck, he wasn't ready to see his own reaction, he thought. Jenna had send a few questions, and he had answered all of them as good as he had been able to, admiring how her first had been about his own wellbeing, not the one of her husband. The videographer knew what a kind soul, what a beautiful person inside and out she was, he had seen that in her from day one, and he had seen what she had done to his friends heart and mind. Tyler had changed a lot after he met her, to the better with no exeption. Jenna was his life, just like he was hers, and Mark bit on his tongue to avoid crying. He had done that way too much in the past few hours. 

Sitting up groaning the girl rubbed her eyes, and instantly did exaclty what he didn't wanted to. Desperate little sobs rung out between her hands, that she had clasped in front of her face, her body shaking with the force of it. Unsure how to react Mark couldn't stop himself from slipping out of his bed and carefully walking over to her though, leaning down to her and trying to remove her hands from her face softly. „Hey..hey, I'm Mark. Do you want me to call the nurse?“ Looking up at him through her tears the girl opened her mouth, but needed a few seconds before she could speak at all. „I know you!“ she exclaimed, not sounding excited or in awe, just ascerting. „You're their photographer, aren't you?“ she added when he replied nothing, just stood there and waited for what was to come. „I...“ pondering to ly for a second he decided against it, still not sure what the hell was going on. „If you mean Twentyone Pilots....yeah, I am.“ „What are you doing here?“ she asked right away, not giving him time to retreat. Marks malaise grew bigger and bigger, still he didn't have the heart to go back to his bed and ignore her. „There was an accident...“ he started, recognising her eyes going wide, her breath hitching, so he stopped midsentence, looking around for a bell to call the nurse if she'd start to freak. „Oh god....“ the girl whispered instead, the dawn of a realisation written all over her face, „Oh my god...the bus...it was theirs!“ 

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One more door, only one more and he'd stop he promised himself. After the panic there had been rage, after the rage had been desperation, right now all he felt was exhaustion, deep, pure exhaustion, that made it nearly impossible to go on. Whatever bad joke he was caught in, the man had accepted that he wouldn't escape it so easy by now, and even if it was kind of a defeat, it helped him to think a little clearer. He had tried to find the end of the train, or it's beginning, but it seemed like the wagons never ended and never changed, all of them being like made out of one piece, down into every detail. Already knowing what he'd find behind the next door he placed his hand on the handle, the first time in a long actually, as he had smashed all the other door until now. Surprisingly it did not fall off, nor turned to dust, it was solid and hard under his fingers, and moved down smooth as he pushed it. Swinging the door open he stepped through, a glimpse of hope in his heart, that was killed with a few steps in, as he found the same room like he had over and over again. Something was off though in this one, he couldn't grab it right away, but after some seconds of observing he realised that he was not allone. There was a person sitting in a seat on the opposite side, upright and facing him, yelling out for help. 

He froze though, unsure how to proceed, unsure if this was real or another trick of his mind. When the person got sight of him they went silent, the constant rattling of the track below them the only sound now filling the room. It was a girl, he learned, when his eyes adjusted, when he did a few steps towards her without even recognising it. She was very young, and sat strangely stiff, her head all that was following his movements, her eyes blown wide with fear though. „He...Hello? Sir?“ she stuttered, clearly frightened by is appearence, and somehow glad about it by the same time. Opening his mouth he wanted to answer, a string of questions rushing through his mind, none of them leaving his lips though, they moved without a sound and so he gave up on trying and just started to approach her slowly. „Sir? May you help me? I'm...kind of stuck here. Sir?“ Getting more and more uneasy the girl kept talking, she looked like she'd wanted to flee, but couldn't move and maybe that was exactly the problem. „Please!“ she pleaded when he finally stepped into her row, only a few feet left between them, her terrified features fully visible now. „Please...don't....don't hurt me!“ Trying to sooth her the man shook his head and lowered himself to the ground, sat down on the cold metal, so there was still a seat between them, a non verbal sign of how he did not mean to harm. It seemed to soothe her a bit and she did a shaky breath, observing him openly now, her eyes casting over his face, the trace of a recognision visible on it before her features went blank again. 

„Are you...“ bitin her lip she returned to meet his eyes, „Can't you speak?“ she asked and he shook his head, impressed that she had found out so quickly and relieved to have found human prescense. „I can't move.“ Another of her short sentences, one he didn't understood fully, but drank it in, the sound of a human voice so much better then the earie silence, just filled with the noise of the train flying through the grey dessert. He reached out his hand, slow, as non-threatening as he could, silently asking her if he should help her up, not grasping the full meaning of her words. Furrowing her front she shook her head, her voice now small an relucant, as tiny as she might have felt right then. „No...you don't understand. I can't move. I can't move an inch.“

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The phone lit up what must have been the hundreth time beside him, still Josh did not pick up on his mum. There was nothing he wanted to hear, nothing he wanted to say, all together he felt like HE was nothing, not important, not even worth to live on this world. The drummer had recognised Brad entering his room a while ago and taking a seat beside his bed, but Josh refused to stare at anything else then the damn crack in the ceiling, unless he'd hear his best friends voice again. „She's worried, Joshua. Do you want me to pick up?“ the photographer asked into the silence, his voice so different from the strong, deep tune it normally held. There was no answer and so he took it as a no, ressuming to stare down at his own phone, that he held like this for minutes. Brad didn't even knew why he had came here, maybe he had felt like Josh was one of the few who would refuse to give up hope just like he did. Finding the younger so defeated, obviously not approachable had taken him a little off guard, but everything was better then sitting in that damn hotel and watching one by one leave. Of course it wasn't the betrayel he took it for, but Brad couldn't help but think that they all left Tyler behind without patting an eyelash, and it disgusted him, made him sick. 

His thumb scrolling the screen the photographer took in the reactions of the fans on the official statement Fueled by Ramen had given. There was confussion all over, as it had only said that the upcoming shows had to be cancled due to unexpected difficulties of private nature. Of course the Clique freaked. There were theories within minutes, some of them so close to the truth that it actually hurt, and Brad read through them all. Bitterness took over his thinking when he learned how many people just used this to get attention, tried to throw out wildest accusations against Tyler or Josh, like assuming they had earned enough by now and just had no desire to ressume to work or the singer kicked the drummer out of the band for getting together with his ex girlfriend again. Opening his twitter account Brad let his emotions taking over and started to type. 

"To all this little fuckers, idiots and assholes out there, that try to throw shade on two of my best friends: You are as wrong as someone can be. I might get in trouble for this, but I honestly couldn't care less, as there's nothing that can be worse then what is happening right now. The truth is, Tyler and Josh have been involved in a terrible car accident. I'm glad to tell you, that Josh is alright so far. He is injured, but he's concious, and his broken bones will heal by time. I wish I could say the same about Tyler. But unfortunatly, my friend is fighting death right now. He has been put into artificial coma to give his body the chance to survive his servere injuries, and he's not breathing on his own. This is the only information you will get out of me, so don't even try to come after me, I will not reply. And now,you greedy people, leave the families and close ones alone or I swear I sent every laywer I can get a hold on after you.""


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos and comments :)

Gently closing the door Jenna stayed there for another moment, listening to the sound of the machines working. There was a constant „peep“ in between the „woshs“ of the ventilator, it was his heart's beat, she recognised. Jenna had spent endless nights memorizing it, when her head had been resting on his chest, his arm circled around her, soft breath tickling her front. Still the man in front of her seemed like a stranger now, as there was no impression of his personality, just his empty shell, and once more her sanity was tested hard. Giving herself a push the blonde walked over and lowered herself on the stool that had been placed beside him, studied the tubes that seemed like a part of him now intently. She hesitated to reach out her hand, but in the end she did, her fingers crawling along the cold metal of the bed, up the sheets, until they found his, laying motionless by his side, feeling cold like a corpses might feel. Still she interwinded their digits, still she gave a little squeeze. There was not much that Jenna knew about coma, but what she had heared was enough to assure her, that there was at least the chance he might reconise her being here, and she promised to herself to do her best to make his time worth.

„You're such a silly boy, Tyler.“ she started to talk, a light tone in her voice, the one he liked so much when she were joking, „I can't even leave you alone for a few days without you getting in trouble.“ Waiting for a reply that never came Jenna searched her mind for memorys, for how he would have answered to that, just to keep herself going. „Yeah, yeah, I know, not your fault. It's never your fault. Still...I wish you'd be more carefull.“ Another ghost of a conversation came up to her and she laughed a little. „No, I totally don't sound like your mum! Ok...maybe I do. But she's right on that one!“ Raising her eyes from their hands up his body, over the black ink on his chest, Jenna finally challenged herself to look at his face, take it in from close, and she swallowed her tears. Her fingers left his when they followed her gaze and casted gently through his hair, carefully avoiding to touch any of the mechanics around him. Leaning in close Jenna placed a kiss right behind her husbands ear before she breathed a „Come back to me, baby! Please, just come back!“ 

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Stepping out of the intensive care wing the girls father looked around for the cop that had been waiting for him and found him standing near a coffee machine. Making his way over to the men Clay Banks searched for a few coins in his pocket, so he could get a coffee too. Since they had arrived at the hospital he hadn't left his wifes side, as they sat hours beside their younger daughter, who was more dead then alive it seemed. The nurse had told him that Jill had woken up, but they had to sedate her again as she paniced. He had done a quick stopp at her room about an hour ago, petting her messy hair and making sure she was good, before he returned to stand behind Sydney, who had placed her front on Sandras bed and cried, never ending, never subsiding it seemed. A cough made Clay focus again and confused he starred down at a cup, held out in his direction. „Mr. Banks, I assume?“ the cop asked, offering him a coffee, and nodding the men took it, grateful for that little gesture. „My name is Detective Wong. I'm here to fill you in on your daughters' accident.“ Again nodding wordlessly Clay walked him by and sat down at one of the orange plastic seats that were chained to the wall. He wondered if there were really people stealing such things out of a hospital, but cursed himself for being so mindless right now. „I'm sorry. I don't want to come across as rude...I'm just...a little lost of words.“ he explained as the cop looked at him questioning, and took a sip of the coffee. „That's perfectly fine, I get this must be a real hard situation for you. Do you want me to come back later?“ „No, please sit down! I want to know what happened. Who caused that accident?“ 

Taking place beside him the detective sighed and shrugged at the same time. „It's pretty classic. It was a drunken driver, not even 19 years old. He lost controll over his car and overturned a few times. Your daughter seemed to be taking him over just the moment it happened.“ „Did he hit them in the side? My younger daughter was at the passangers seat...she's most injured.“ „No, he kind of flew over their car and crashed right in front of them. There was no way Jill would have been able to avoid the impact.“ Taking another sip Clay closed his eyes, thinking that this was all he needed to know. „It wasn't really that bad though, I guess they would maybe even have gotten through this unharmed, if not the bus would have been crashing into them to.“ His head flying to the side Clay took a sharp breath then. „A bus? What fucking bus drives the highway at two in the morning?“ Shrugging again the detective looked like he was hoping to get through with this soon, so he could end his workday and go home to his family. „A tourbus. Some band, I've forgotten their name. One of this current shooting stars, you know, the ones the kids are all about. Their singer got injured pretty badly too. It's all over the news since about an hour as some dumb asshole leaked information although we're not done with our investigations yet.“ Ignoring the way the cop watched him confused Clay sprung up then and crossed the few feet to the counter, where a nurse was sitting and starring bored at a small TV. „Mrs. ...could you do me a favour? Would you change to the news channel for just a second?“ She was clearly not happy about it, but still did, handing him the controlls and getting up to ressume some of her work. The man grasped the remote thightly and pulled up the volume, not able to believe how ironic life's ways seemed to be. 

„...KFLL News. I'm currently in front of the hospital Twentyone Pilot's lead singer Tyler Joseph is treated in after he had been involved in a terrible car accident yesterday night. Officials say a drunken driver caused the initial accident and the bands driver was not able to avoid the crash, sending Joseph flying out of the vehicle for about hundret feet and crashing into a check rail. There's no confirmed information yet, but the bands photographer, Brad Heaton, released a statement on his twitter account, telling the fans to back up and give the families space, as well as stating that Joseph is set into coma and automatically ventilated. Fans have already started to gather outside of the hospital, as a lot of them had traveled into town to see the band in concert today. Now they come together to pray for their idol and....“ Turning the TV off Clay threw the remote against the nearest wall. 

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„I think we should get out of here.“ the girl said, trying to read the reaction of the man beside her. They had found a way to communicate somehow, it hadn't even been that hard, as they seemed to have all time in the world. First she had bombarded him with questions, and he had tried to answer, but they soon learned that none of them knew their names or where they were. So she had changed into learning his language, by the way she related words to his hands movements, and by time she started to trust him. When he had entered the wagon she had been terrified, as his appearence had been wild. His eyes were red rimmed, the gaze unsteady flying around, until it fell on her, fixed her. He then had started to walk up to her and the girl had tried to crawl away, but her inability to move had made her a perfect prey. The more she had been relieved when he had sat down, had kept their distance, and only after they had „talked“ like that for a while he had sat beside her, not before she had told him to do so though. Wearing black, skinny jeans and a plain black shirt he somehow stroke her as familiar, but the more she tried to think about it the more the thought slipped away. Realizing that he tried to gesture to her she focused on his hands, then on his moving lips, trying to read the words off of them. „I don't know. I don't think it will hurt if you pick me up. I can't feel a thing so that will be no problem.“ Looking away from her he motioned to a window and she froze, understanding what he was trying to suggest. „Are you crazy? We can't just jump off this thing! There must be a...cockpit or something? Haven't you seen anyone else around?“ 

Smiling helpless the man shook his head, stood up and walked to the closest door, the one he had not went through. He seemed surprised that it swung open before he could even reach out his hand, and by the way he solidified the girl could tell he had not been prepared for what he saw there. „What's it? Is it another wagon? Hey, I can't see!“ she stated impatiently, glad that he didn't kept her waiting but returned to her, holding up his palms as if to appologize for something, before he slipped one arm under her knees and the other around her back, pulling her out of the seat and close to his chest bridal style. It was intimidating to be so close to a stranger at first, but she could tell right away that he handled her with care, and until now he had not set actions that she filed as dangerous, so the girl didn't try to fight. Instead she turned her head when he carried her towards the door and tried to get a glimpse of what was behind, her breath hitching when she saw the outside, the track layed out behind them, and it dawned her this was the trains end. „Ok, so...you found nothing on the way back here, right?“ Shaking his head he gnawed on his lip, clearly unsure of what to do next. „No handle, no break, nothing?“ Again he denied, spinning them carefully around his own axe one time so they both could take in the walls around them. „There's no way to stop this thing, am I right?“ the girl asked finally, fear growing in her chest, but the constant beat of his heart that she felt on her cheek right now helped her to stay calm. Shrugging he looked down at her, as if he was waiting for her decsission. Taking a deep breath she looked through the door one more time and then nodded determined. „Ok...let's jump.“ 

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They had arrived at the hospital together, but in the waiting hall their paths split. Laura felt bad for leaving Kelly and Chris alone in this, as she watched her friends walk off to the hopeless part of the building, where machines were all that kept their son alive. Still she rushed to get to her own, as she couldn't wait to cradle her kid in her arms, to have a physical confirmation that, yes, Josh was ok. Bill took her hand as they walked on, his palm was sweaty but his grip was confident and she let herself be led around, finding comfort in the way he took this over. When they reached the room the nurse on the counter had told them their son was in, they exchanged a glance and Bill opened the door for her, waiting for her to step in first before he did too and closed it quietly, not wanting to wake his son up if he would have been asleep. But Josh wasn't sleeping. He was sitting in his bed, his head turned to the window, starring mindlessly out into the still pouring rain. In an instant Laura was at his side an threw her arms around his neck, kissing his face, and hiding her tears in his hair, babbling things like „Oh god...I'm so thankfull...my boy...“ over and over. Her husband choosed to stay back a bit though, observing his sons reaction, and it worried him right away. Bill had expected Joshua to be totally thrown off track by this. Tyler was more then his best friend, his son loved the singer like he loved his own siblings, and the two of them had gone through a lot together, highs and lows, forging their initially juvenile friendship into a strong, lifelasting bond. The way Josh didn't even seem to recognise that his mother was there now, told books of how shaken he really was. 

Stepping towards them and laying a hand on his wifes shoulder Bill gently pulled her off of her son and made her sit down, her eyes full of a thousand painfull questions, but she understood and kept silent, although she refused to let her kids hand go. Running his own up the drummers leg Bill sighed, unsure if Josh even heared him, still he felt like it was important to tell. „I'll try to learn how he is, ok? Your mum will stay with you.“ 

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Coming out of the bathroom where he had changed into his own clothes with great difficulty Mark was startled as there were suddenly two other people in the room. He realised it must have been Jills parents though, and tried to set up an sympathically face. The girl and him had talked for a while and he had learned that she and her younger sister had been involved in the accident too...in fact it had been their car Tylers bus had crashed in. Having only a faint memory of the crashside Mark could still recall that there had been not much left of the cars he had crawled over and shuddered by the thought that a kid had been trapped in there. Sandra, Jills younger sister, was in a similar state his friend was in, too injured to live, to strong to die and he had tried to comfort the girl as good as he could. She had been devastated to learn that Tyler was in coma too, it semeed like her own personal nightmare and Mark could only begin to fathom what this all meant to her. What was clear was, that she gave herself the blame for causing the accident, although he wasn't really sure it had been that way. Right now she was crying in her mothers arms, while her father shot him a stern look, an non-verbal „Who the fuck are you?“ that Mark decided to answer quickly to not let wrong thoughts come up in the mans head. „Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Banks. My name is Mark Eshleman. I...kind of was involved in that accident too and doctors put me to your daughters room yesterday. I'm...I'm sorry about Sandra. I hope she'll recover soon.“ The videographer pushed out, trying not to show too obvious how nervous he was. „He's...“ Jill sniffed loudly, „He's a friend of Tyler, dad. Ty...he's...he's...“ 

The fiercness with which the man shouted at him made Mark stumble back a few steps then and the girl flinching hard on her bad. Clay had been controlled as long as he could, he had swallowed all his anger, all his desperation until know, but somehow the name of the singer triggered something in him and he broke, spat all his venom at the musicians friend. „FUCK TYLER JOSEPH! I HOPE THAT SON OF A BITCH DIES! If it wasn't for his fucking concert an his fucking bus my daugther wouldn't ly down there fighting for her live! FUCK ALL OF YOU!“ the man screamed and Mark felt tears well up his eyes, unable to react to that he just stood there, letting the assault happen. „Dad..“ „NO! Don't even try to defend them! This will have consequences! I'm dragging all of your asses to court! You've hurt my baby! You maybe killed her even! You can be thankfull I'm not taking your fucking life right here and now!“ Starring at him with open hanging mouths his daughter and his wife were overwhelmed by Clays outbreak, as they had never seen him aggressive, hostile like that. Mark although was finally able to move, grabbed his bag with his good hand from the bed it had been placed on and left the room without a word. 

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Brad was waiting outside the back entrance of the hospital. He had accomplished a few things this afternoon, like renting a car and getting a rental appartment he and Mark could stay in, as his friend had told him there was no way he was leaving the town too. Being more then glad about that he waited for the videographer to come out of the building now, as they had decided to go to their place and try to relax a bit. They weren't allowed to see Tyler and Josh didn't speak to any of them, so there was no point in staying at the hospital for now. Still the two friends had came across that they wanted to be in reach if they were needed, that was why they declined flying home, although their families had begged them to do so. Brad could see Marks consternation from a hundret feet away, the videographer practically ran towards his car, his face tear-striken, ripped the door open and threw his bag inside before he plunged in the passangers seat. „Man, shit, what happened?“ Brad asked, internally panicing and hoping this had nothing to do with Tyler. „Don't ask. Just get me out of here. Please.“ 

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Placing her hand on the sleeping womans shoulder Kelly gently shook Jenna awake. The blonde hadn't left her husbands side since she had arrived, and somewhere along the day she had just fallen asleep with her head on his hand, the constant noises of the machines like a mechanic lullaby. Looking up at the older woman through sleep-confused eyes Jenna reached out her hand and grasped Kellys' in hers, pulling her mother in law in a thight, emotionfull embrace. Chris stood at the other side of the bed, starring down at his son in disbelieve, clearly needing time to process this. The women hugged for a while before they broke appart, pain mirroring in both of their eyes, still both of them smiling at each other, showing how lucky they felt to have each other around. „How has he been?“ Kelly asked whispering, as if she was afraid to wake Tyler up. „Unimproved. They want to do another brain check tomorrow morning though.“ Nodding Kelly lowered herself on the bed cautiously and took her sons appearence in, ignoring the way her husband huffed and left the room. Jenna looked after him in worry though, turning her face towards the older woman again when the door fell shut. „Will Chris be ok?“ „He hates to cry in front of others. I guess you know that streak well, don't you?“ Chuckling lightly, asking herself immediatly if it was impropriate to do so, Jenna was relieved Kelly didn't seem upset. „They are more alike then they like to admit, aren't they.“ „Yeah they are.“ 

Caressing the younger womans cheek Kelly gave her a long, sad glance, asking „How are you holding up?“ but Jenna turned away, focusing her attention on her lifeless husband again. „As long as he's there I'm alright.“ she exclaimed, a tad to cold to be true, but Kelly decided to let it be. The younger needed all coping mechanics she could find right now, she assumed, and who was she to take that away from her. Still she longed to give Jenna hope, and maybe herself too, so she started to talk again, while both of them carresed Tylers body with gentle strokes, small touches here and there. „When he was a kid he used to climb every tree he could find. Gosh, was I terrified he'd fall and brake his neck!“ Closing her eyes Jenna listened, trying to imagine how the lanky, thin boy Tyler had been craweld up the branches. „One day we went to my cousin in Wisconsin. Tyler went out with her boys to play, they were nearly the same age. They were supposed to come home by dinnertime, but none of them showed up, so we began to worry. We searched for them, four parents and some neighbours and by the start of dawn we found them in the forrest behind the house. Tyler had climbed up a freaking high tree and couldn't get down anymore, and the others were too afraid to go home and tell us, so they decided to stay there until he'd find the guts to come down again.“ Feeling a tear slipping down her cheek Kelly shook her head on the fond memory, hoping it was not one she would have to share at a funeral. „He was up there for hours, but in the end, with Chris' encouragement and my promise to make him his favourite dinner he climbed down again. So maybe we just need to tell him hard enough...and he will come home.“


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you guys like the Story so far :). And sorry for the sadness...

Feeling the girl shake in his arms he watched the track flying away beyond them. It was a good sign her body was able to have such a reaction, he thought, maybe her state of not moving was just fleeting, maybe she'd get feel in her limps again. Currently there were other problems to solve though, so he tried to tie that idea into a package and placed it in the storage shelf of his mind, beside the question where he was and who. Going a steady, albeit not too high speed the train slipped through the dessert, still the jump off of it would not be able without doing any harm, of that he was sure. Ignoring the girl brabbling about they should just close their eyes and go for it the man tried to carefully plan their fall. It would have been fatal if one of them got injured more then they seemed already to be, he couldn't imagine being alone in this again, and he was pretty sure the girl could neither. Carefully taking her wrist he tried to place her arms around his neck, so she had a better hold, but they slipped down his shoulders useless, fell down her side, so he cradled them at her belly again, realising that there was no way she could hold on to him like this. Jumping out front was no option then. His hands were needed to keep her in place, he wouldn't be able to brace their fall, and there was no way he'd risk to fall onto her. The man knew he wasn't all too heavy, still, compared to the fragile body he had picked up with no effort he still was a crashing weight. Maybe he could just roll off on their side...but hitting the hard rails with his shoulder didn't sound all to appealing at all. 

„Uhm...are you going to do something or are we keeping standing here and stare?“ the girl teased, less out of being impatient then out of fear. He could tell she was frigthened too, there was sweat on her front and her eyes flickered back and forth between his face and the track, and he wished he could have soothed her with words. Instead he just did his signature shrug and turned, his back now facing the rails, the wagons grey insides still where they had been when he last checked. „What are you going....“ she started, but realised while she spoke what he was up to and switched into yelling right away. „Are you crazy? You can't do that! You'll get hurt! Hey! Stop! Fuck! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!“ The piercing cry ringing in his ears the man let himself fall backwards, gripping the kid thighter so she wouldn't slip out of his arms. It was less frightning then he thought it would be, and while he fell he felt some kind of familiarity. Maybe crashing on his back was something he was used to. 

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„...and another test tomorrow morning. We will try to give her brain some electric impulses and see if there's a reaction, basically. After that, we'll decide on further treatment.“ the doctor concluded, shutting the foder he held and looking up to the girls parents in front of him. „Do you have any questions?“ „How long will this all take?“ Sydney Banks asked, her voice filled with sadness, but firm and steady. Her husband sat beside his injured kid, not faceing them. After Clays outbreak Sydney had taken the lead, it was like a dance where they both changed into being the one who held the rythm whenever the other got to tired to do so. The doctor gave her an irritated glance, trying to understand what she was talking of. „The testing?“ „No...this.“ gestureing towards her kid the woman waited patiently for an answer as she realised the doctor gulped hard. „Well...to be honest...I have no idea. She could wake up today...or never at all. I suggest you start looking for a place to stay around here unless you want her to be transported into a hospital closer to your home.“ The shock was a curse and a blessing at the same time. Lowering herself on a seat Sydney ran her hands over her face, before she answered. „Would that be...expensive?“ Wishing he could tell her any otherwise the doctor sighed. „I'm afraid this will get expensive either way. Mrs. Banks...your insurance doesn't pay for longtime intensive care. Right now we were able to get your daughters case into a special fund the sponsorials of this institution have created, that's why we're able to do further testing on her. If that one runs out...we won't be able to provide her more then the basical care, unless you find a way to finance the specialists work. I know how cold and hard that must sound to you...and I really wish I could tell you otherwise. But it's the rules. And I'm bound to them.“

Giving him a nod the woman signalised that she wasn't willing to respond to that, and that she wanted him to leave for now, so the doctor did. Walking out of the room he stopped at the door for a moment, laying his hand on the shoulder of the young woman sitting there, looking down sympathically at Jill. She had followed the whole conversation silently, sitting in that chair for hours now, watching her sister being held alive by machines. The girl didn't react to the doctors gesture though, she kept starring at her mother, who still had her hands clasped in front of her face, silently crying. Only when the door fell shut Jill started to move, got up and walked over, sinking down on her knees beside her mother and slunging her arms around Sydney. She responded immediatly, took her daughter into her arms and let her tears flow free, being soaked up by the bandage around the girls head. They stayed like this for a while until they heared Clay move, standing up and heading for the door. „Where are you going?“ Sydney asked, not willing to let him out of her supervision, as she was not sure if he was stable enough to be alone. „I'm going to get a room for the two of you. I have to go back to work by thursday.“ Shooting up the woman freed herself from her daugthers embrace to rush over to him. „Clay! You can't do that! We...we need to stay here with her, she needs the both of us, she'll wake up soon and...“ Looking her in the eye with an expression that broke her heart her husband sounded dead inside when he interrupted her plea. „You've heared him. It will take weeks, months, years. If she'll wake up at all. I need to go back. We'll need a lot of money.“ 

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Storming into the appartment and pushing the door shut with a bang Brad threw his phone on the nearest desk and his body at the couch. Watching him carefully Mark looked up from his laptop and pondered if he should ask at all, but came to the conclusion that in the end he would learn anyway. „You ok?“ he gave, relucantly enough to leave the other the possibility to just not answer, surprised he got an immediat one. Brad was hard to figure out when life went normal, right now he was as unpredictable as a wounded animal. „They are sewing me.“ Perking up Mark shut the laptop in front of him. „What? Who?“ „Fueled by Ramen. They are sewing me.“ „What the fuck....?“ Sighing Brad rolled to the side so he could face the other. He didn't appear like he was in panic, but Mark could tell that he was shaken by the news. „Appearently they had planned to not let people know as long as possible.“ The videographer shook his head. „And what for? I mean...they know about Tylers state. They must have predicted that there will be no concerts for a long while at least!“ „Yeah, but I think they wanted to keep the dates open for them. And now that I revealed what's going on the venues are calling in and canceling the contracts.“ „Again...what for?“ Shrugging Brad pushed himself up again and went over to the small kitchen, grabbing a coke out of the frigde. „I think they planned to get Panic! Or Fall out boy in there.“ „But they are not touring recently!“ „Exactly. They would have been free to fill in. That way the label wouldn't loose thousands of dollars. But they won't loose them anyway because they'll try to get it back from me.“ 

Watching stunned as his friend drowned the can in one go, crumbled it into a ball and threw it mindless on the counter. „That's...man, that just sucks!“ „Yeah it does. But honestly? I don't care.“ Sitting in silence for a while the two friends starred just streight ahead before Mark decided to pick up the conversation again. „Are you coming to see Josh today?“ „Of course. I just hope he's a little more himself.“ „Doubt that. I'm going to meet Jenna later too, she wants to fill me in on news. Plus...I hope she can tell me when we can visit Ty.“ A shadow ran over the photographers face and he grunted, pushing the picture coming up in his mind aside. „Do you think Kelly and Chris will even want us there?“ he asked to direct the topic away from the singer. Brad just couldn't take to think about Tyler too much right now. „I guess it will be no problem for them. You know they see us all as part of the family.“ „What makes that you? Brother Mark? Uncle Marky?“ Glad that the other tried to lighten the mood a bit Mark took the banter, not forgetting though that he still had to save the epitaph-video he had been working on. 

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Her parents in law had went to check in in the hotel, so Jenna was left alone with her thoughts again. The blonde was gratefull that the nurses allowed her to stay in the room at all times, even when they came to take care of their daily routine. It was hard for her to watch how her husband got washed by two stranger woman, but the clinical touches they used made it a little more bearable. When the sheets were changed and everything were drowned in the constant mechanical noises again, Jenna allowed herself a moment of weekness, wandered over to the window and turned her back towards him, as if he could see her crying otherwise. It were only a few minutes though before she whiped her nose with the back of her hand and went to the bed again, taking her position beside him, just like she had promised...being on his side through good and bad days. Feeling like she should say something, but the words being stuck in her throat she reached out her hand again and pushed some strains out of his front, let her fingers glide over the slight stubble that formed on his cheeks. Tyler had been proud when he finally had started to grow some presentable facial hair, still he had always shaved as he knew she didn't like it. Jenna made a mental note to get his razor, so she could do it for him now. Trying to take her mind off the finality of the situation a bit she fired up her phone then, ignoring the uncountable unanswered calls from her family and friends and only replying to Marks message that told her he would be there to meet her in about two hours. 

Switching to the browser the blonde typed „How to help a comatous person to wake up again“ into the search bar and whistled, as it showed her over 2 millions hits. Setting an alarm so she wouldn't miss her date with Mark Jenna began to read through the websites then, because if there was something she had on her hands in abundance, it was time.

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„We're taking Joshua home tomorrow.“ Laura stated, watching her friend out of the corner of her eye. The two couples had checked into the same hotel, ironically the exact same their boys had been awaited in, they even had got the booked rooms. While Chris and Bill had decided to take a walk Kelly asked her to meet up for a coffee in the lobby, as the two women knew their faces were far too famous with the young fans to not being approached if they walked a city full of them. Somehow all these kids had a thing for the mothers, but nearly never recognised their husbands if they met them on the street. „How does he feel?“ Kelly asked, mechanically, not that she wasn't really interessted, it was just hard for her to think of anything then her son at that moment. „I don't know. He's still not talking. I wondered...if he could see Ty before we head out? I think it might help him to process what happened if he realises the staff is taking care of him the best way possible.“ Steering in her coffee distraughted Kelly shook her head. „I don't think that's an good idea, Laura. Tyler...he doesn't look so good right now, you know? It might just traumatize Josh further.“ Letting her hand slip over the desk and cover the other womans Laura made sure to sound soothing, as she knew the question was not soothing at all. „Is it that bad?“ Kelly did a shaky breath and closed her fingers around her friends, giving it a light squeeze. „He...they opened his abdomen, so he has some nasty scars there. Plus...oh god, Laura...he's so pale. His face...I don't think I've ever seen him look so dead, not even when he tried...“ Stopping herself right there Kelly let her head fall onto her arms and started to cry, Laura slipping out of her seat and onto her side in an instant, cradling her friend in her arms and sharing her tears with her. 

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There was a knock on the door, but Josh did ignore it, like he ignored everything around him. This reality was something he denied with all of his heart, he tried to live in the depths of his mind, where he still took the stage every night with his best friend. Where Tyler was laughing and screaming and jumping over his piano. Where he wasn't lying somewhere in the other parts of that building, chemical air blown into him again and again. Still Josh couldn't stay there fully, he was always brought back into reality, everytime someone entered or tried to talk to him. That's why he hated them so much, all of them, his mother, his dad, his friends. They made him face what happened, while he tried so hard to deny. Still he was relieved to learn that it were Brad and not a nurse, that entered the room after waiting a few seconds. The photographer at least didn't try to get him to talk, he mostly just sat silently beside him, an assuring, warm precense Josh was thankfull for somehow. This time though Brad grabbed a stool and positioned it so he could look at the drummer, folding his arms and pushing his chin forward a bit. „For how long do you plan to keep that shit going, Josh?“ he growled, low and warningly, albeit not really aggressve. Of course he got no response, but he clearly hadn't expected one, he just huffed and shook his head. „See...I get you buddy, ok? I'd totally love to retreat into my head as well right now...but that's just not how things work. This won't help anyone, especially not Tyler. Do you honestly think he'd want you to go crazy because of him?“ 

It hurt to speak, after not having used his voice in a few days, and Josh hadn't even planned to answer. Still he did, more an emotional reaction then one out of concious will. „He would not expect any less from me.“ Surprised Brad unwinded his arms and leaned foreward, propping himself up on his thighs. „Are you serious? That's bullshit! He would kick your whiney little ass if he'd know you try to drown yourself in pitty! The fuck, Joshua, we all got enough to worry about already, nobody needs you to be added to that list!“ Grinding his teeth the drummer looked away, outside the window, asking himself for a moment if that damn rain was ever going to end. Brad didn't push any further, he had already said what he wanted to get off his chest, and saw no need in forcing any further conversation. A few minutes went before Josh sighed and turned again, facing another person fully the first time since the accident had happend. „I think you're right. Jenna, Kelly, Chris...you guys...ya all have enough on your mind right now. I promise I'm getting better on my own. And I promise I'll try to talk to them, ok? Just...just don't expect me to smile.“ Scrunching his face the videographer stood up, grabbed the drummers phone from the nighstand and threw it on his chest as gently as possible. „Talk to them too.“ he stated, well knowing Josh understood that he meant their fans, „They need it now more then ever.“

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„...and I want you to bring your laptop. And speakers. Oh, and be sure to get me some of the material you recorded recently. I want everthing I can get, alright?“ Watching Jenna inquiringly Mark tried to be subtle in his worry, but failed misserably as his voice betrayed him and broke midsentence. „Jen...I don't think you'll need these things right now. I mean...what for? It will only hurt you more to see that videos.“ he gave, but the blonde brushed him off with a wink of her hand. „It's not for me, dummy, it's for him!“ Now highly alerted Mark wondered if Tylers' wife had lost her mind already, but decided to give her the chance to explain, as she looked too determined for someone who went insane. „I've looked up ways to help him come back to us. And...gosh, there are hundrets of sides. Basically, as far as I understood, everything thats familiar can help his brain to remember who he is and how it's functioning. Smells, voices, melodies...we should give him as much triggers as we can find!“ „You seriously think he'll wake up from a coma if you only blast the Blurryface LP long enough? Jen...“ letting his hand fall on the youngers shoulder Mark hoped he didn't sound to cocky when he continued, „Of course we will try everything that might work...but...just don't get your hopes up too high, ok? It's...it's not like I wouldn't pray to god every fucking minute to send a miracle and let him wake up soon. But...I think we should engage the thought that this might not be the case for a long time.“ „You're blasphemic.“ Jenna gave back, more heated then she had meant to be, still she couldn't keep it inside. „How can you pray to god for help if you don't believe in his power?“ „I DO believe in his power but...“ Cutting him off with a stern look Jenna stood up and grabbed her purse from the desk, getting ready to walk over to the coffee machine and then back into her husbands room. „There is no BUT in true faith, Mark. There's only a HE WILL. Come to intensive care tomorrow afternoon. I'll make sure they'll let you see him. Bring all you have, ok?“

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Dear frens. Gosh, that sounds aweful. But...I got no idea how to start this anything else then this, because you all feel, in fact, like friends of us. Over the past years you have been with us on our rise, have carried this thing to success and I'll be forever greateful for that, more even, I'm so proud of you for sticking with us and helping this band to grow, giving it a purpose. You all deserve the world for that, and I'd love to reward you all if I could...but this time, it's me asking you for something.

By now, all of you might have heared what happened, and I'm deeply sad to have to confirm it's true. I made it out of that accident only lightly injured, at least it's not bad enough to keep me down, but Tyler has been wounded so hard, that I'm not sure if he'll ever be able to come back from that again, even if he wakes up someday...which is also not sure at all. I don't think any of you can understand what me and his close ones are going through at the moment, but I hope you can try at least. We're devastated, we're desperate and honestly...all I can ask from you guys is: Please, please pray for him. Keep him in your mind when you go to sleep at night. Ask god to help him find his way back to us, to not let go. And please stop coming to the hospital, or trying to find out where his parents or Jenna or I are staying. We can't deal with your pain at the moment, we're not even able to deal with our own in any way. 

I promise you that I'll try to keep you all updated, as far as the situation allows. But I ask you to understand too, that I'll not give out any information if it's not confirmed by the person who's in charge of decissions right now, and that is Jenna. If she doesn't want you to be involved, this will be my last tweet, until Tyler wakes up again. 

Still...I will not confirm the end of twentyone pilots, because, we will never end, not even if, and god behold that, Tyler never comes back again, not even if he'll die. This band will forever be a part of me...and I'm not willing to let that go, as I'm not willing to let him go. Everyone involved is doing all that's possible to help him, and I hope you'll stick to what I asked you to do too. So long, I love you all dearly,

Josh


	6. Chapter 6

„...but you HAVE to know how he is!“ „Lindsey, I'm not assigned to his case, I have literally no idea!“ Throwing his hands in the air Dr. Carson tried to make his lie look believable, while he faced his furious teen daughter. He had already expected her to assault him with questions about her big idol, as since the news had spread practically every fan of the singer that was his patient knew what hospital he was in. Still Carson tried to avoid getting involved too much, also for the sake of his kid, he knew how devastated Lindsey would be if she knew how bad Tyler Joseph really were. „You're not trusting me!“ she exclaimed madly, only to add an „I hate you!“ before she rushed to her room and slammed the door shut. Sighing the doctor leaned on the kitchen table and let his head hang low. Fighting with his teen daughter was pretty much the last thing he wanted to do after a three-day shift, but life tended to not care about his wellbeing most of the time. Placing a steaming hot cup of tea before him his wife sat down on the opposite side of the table with her own, watching how he rolled his strained shoulders and gave her a weak smile as a thank you. Andrea took a sip, before she sighed as well, turning her head a bit to the side, a little habbit of hers that he loved very much. „You lied.“ Grunting the doctor fell on his own chair and pulled the cup closer. „Yes, I lied. But I can't tell her sensitive informations...especially not this time. The hospital is already a mekka for crazy fangirls, I don't want to add any more chaos then we already have there.“ Nodding sympathically Andrea kept silent. It was a routine they did since her husband had started to work at the ER. 

On evenings like this, when he came home exhausted emotionally more then physical, she just sat there and listened, let him spill out his heart, and later she would take him to bed, rub his back and ease his mind with making him feel good in any way possible. „It's just...kind of unfair, you know? I mean...“ raising his head and looking at her beautiful, kind eyes, Carson thanked god internally for giving him such an understanding wife, „everyone's worried about him, even the staff is all over his status. But there's a girl, she was injured in that accident as well, and she's as bad as Tyler is. Still...it just feels like noone takes interest in her. That sucks.“ Reaching out his hand and finding hers ready to interlace their fingers he breathed out, the tension slowly falling from him. „The other thing is...you know exaclty how much I hate to loose a patient. And he was lucky, if his friends wouldn't have reacted fast like this he would have been dead minutes after the crash. But...his chances are really low and I just hate seeing people around him hanging on to hope when there's practically none.“ „Are the girls better?“ Andrea asked, sensing that this was a point where he needed her counterpart to get on with his reminisce. Shrugging Dr. Carson pulled his hand back and finally did a sip of his tea. „They are, naturally. She's about ten years younger then him, that always raises the possibilities. Plus, he had a skull fracture, blood pressing on parts of his brain, while the girls head was intact. I'm afraid she'll loose her leg though...it was jammed and we can't tell if she will still be able to feel it unless we can talk to her.“ Standing up the doctors wife rounded the table, slinging her arms around his neck and leaning down to kiss his head. „You're a good doctor, Ken, one with a good heart. But I think we should go upstairs and take your mind off of things for a bit...“

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Stepping out of the room Jenna got ready to leave for the hotel so she could get showered and changed. She had already organised that she would get a bed into Tylers room so she could stay there overnight too, but there was no way she could use the staffs bathrooms. Also, she wanted to grant Kelly and especially Chris some time alone with their son, as she knew that the older man had problems to be vulnerable around her. Heading down the hallway the blonde stopped at the room a few doors down from her husbands, where the girl, that she had recognised when she first got there, lay in. The kid looked so fragile between all the machines, even more then Tyler did, and there was a woman in the room, sleeping with her head on the bed just like she had done before. It gave a sting to Jennas heart, as she didn't wish anyone to have to go through the same she had, even less a mother. Being deep in thoughts she startled when a small, female voice rang up behind her, a relucant „Mrs. Joseph?“ directed her way. Closing her eyes for a second Jenna tried to find the strength to smile. She was prepared that once she would leave Tylers room, she might been faced with fans of him, she was used to in their daily life, and as always she was determined to show herself from the best side. These kids followed Tyler for a reason and Jenna never was rude against them, not even now, when tiredness and sadness pulled on her nervs. Turning slowly she was greated with the sight of another girl, and realised right away that she had the same features as the two femals in the room behind her, a big bandage wrapped around her head though. „Hey! Please, call me Jenna!“ the blonde gave, friendly and warm, trying to set up the words she wanted to say in her head. Somehow not able to look her in the eye the girl starred to her feet, her cheeks burning, hands clasped into a thight knot. „Ok...Jenna...hy. I'm Jill Banks. I'm...I'm a fan of Tyler.“ „I assumed. I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything else then what Brad and Josh have already told.“ „I know...that's not why...“ gulping hard and wringing her fingers even more the girl bit her lip so hard Jenna wanted to grab her and tell her to stop. 

„It was me.“ Jill suddenly broke out though, tears starting to stream down her face, her shoulders trembling. Not understanding what she was trying to say Jenna reached out her hands and lay them on the girls shoulders, running her thumbs soothingly up and down her shirt. „Hey...are you ok?“ she asked, nicely, wondering what was going on, but Jill shook her head frantically. „I'm the cause why Tyler is in coma. I...it was my car the bus crashed in...I was on the way to the concert with Sandy,“ gestureing towards the room the girl solved a mystery for the blonde by making her understand the two of them were sisters, „and we had the music so loud...I...I didn't see the other car fast enough, I was distracted, and we crashed. If...if I just hadn't taken that damn truck over...he...Sandy...they would not be like this right now.“ Raising her head and meeting Jennas deep blue eyes Jill sobbed uncontrolled now. „I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt anyone! I wish it was me lying there, not the two of them. If they die...I'll never forgive myself.“ Feeling her heart swell the woman did not miss a beat to pull the girl close and cradle her in her arms, pressing her head against her shoulder and stroking the tangled hair on the back of it gently. „Oh sweety...listen to me....you've done nothing wrong! I talked to the police this morning, the driver of the truck was drunken, this is all his fault, not yours! I'm so sorry your sister is hurt, if I had known she was involved too...I would have checked up on her right away!“ Crying only harder on this gesture of kindness Jill slung her arms around the stranger woman and let herself break. She had held up for so long to not strain her parents further, but right now everything seemed to fall down on her and she was so relieved Jenna didn't yell at her or curse her out, but did all she could to calm her down. 

They stood like this for a while, until Jills trembling subsided, and Jenna let go of her but not fully, took her hands and led her to some chairs down the hall where she sat down with the girl, never breaking their contact. „Tell me of her! How bad is she?“ „I don't know honestly, only what I could pick up when the doctor was talking to my parents. He said he can't tell if she has bad brain damage as long as she doesn't wake up, and that it might take a long time.“ Furrowing her brow Jenna held her breath, the pain nearly overwhelming her, still she kept smiling for the girl. „That's terrible! I'm really sorry you have to go through this! If there's anything I can do to help...please tell me, ok?“ Deeply impressed by how this woman, who just feared for her man, tried to be there for her, Jill smiled too, a broken, small one, still it warmed Jennas heart. „No...you've done a lot already with forgiving me.“ „There's nothing to forgive, it wasn't your fault!“ Taking a quick look at her watch Jenna sighed and pulled her hands back slowly. „Listen...I'll be around all night, I just need to get to the hotel real quick to get a change. I'm sure I smell like a long flight and dried up sweat, but we can talk later, if you like?“ Shaking her head with a sad expression Jill denied. „No...we actually have to leave in about thirty minutes. Nurses said visiting time is over then.“ „What do you mean? You can't stay with her?“ „No. Mum needs to sleep and me too...and they don't provide beds for relatives here if you not able to pay for it.“ Anger pooling in her chest Jenna stood then, letting her gaze wander to the exhausted woman in the room beside the girl. „Are you serious? They make you leave her? Just like this?“ Nodding quietly Jill looked like a small kid when she kicked her feet back and forth. „Yeah...plus they will only do another test on her, then send her off to basic care. We...we don't have a lot of money, you know? And dad's insurance is not paying for specialists.“ Balling her hands into fists Jenna knew exactly what to do then. It was what Tyler would have done too, she was sure. „What was your last name again?“ „Banks. But why...?“ Turning to head off to the front desk Jenna gave her a last, encouraging smile. „Don't worry Jill. I promise you noone will make you leave and your sister will get the best treatment there is.“

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The crash he had expected never came. The moment they fell out of the train it vanished, like the rails did, and so the men hit the ground comparatively soft. He stayed on his back for a few moments still, to make sure they both where ok and process the environment around him. What hadn't changed was the grey sand, stretching endless on all sides of them, but there where no trees in sight anymore. Instead a blue ball stood high on what he assumed was the sky above them, it gave some sort of strange light, and a line of mountains was visible far away on the horizon. Sitting up carefully he looked at the girl, that was seemingly stunned by the change in the scenery, and he remembered that she had sat in the wagon all the time, not moved through different ones like he had. Maybe this was even stranger for her then for him, he mused and he gently sat her down beside him, supporting her limp body with his own. „Is that the sun?“ she asked, nodding towards the massive blue ball, that wandered over them with visible speed. Giving her the sign for yes the man squintet his eyes and tried to estimate how far away the overburden was. „It's blue.“ the girl gave dryly, as if to point out how stupid he was. Shrugging in lack of a better idea he gestured to his stomach and signed a question mark, asking her if she was hungry. „No. Now that you say it...that's strange, isn't it? I mean...I'm not even thirsty or something...“ Reading his hectic signs she got on, „and you aren't too. The fuck I haven't even pooped in a while!“ Giving her a stern look the man tried to scold her for cursing, and she chuckled, as it made him look kind of funny. „You're not intimidating, I'm sorry....not anymore.“ she beamed, shoving her head into his shoulder, making him smirk too. 

They fell serious pretty fast again though. „This...is so weired. It's like a dream. I mean... this can't be real. But...you feel real. Like...you're the only thing in here that's not fake.“ Agreeing the man carefully slipped an arm around her and pulled her up in time with himself, picking her up again and starting to wander towards the line on the horizon. „So...where are we going?“ she asked, clearly not wanting to be in silence, even if his answers were non-verbal, they still provided a distraction from the fear she felt. He couldn't use his hands now as he held her close but tried to communicate with his eyes and head, motioning over to the mountains. „Yeah, that's logic, I guess. I mean, it's not as if we would have to head anywhere else.“ The blue sun didn't give an all too glaring light, so she could stare directly at it, and she realised that it had moved a lot, was already over half of the sky above them. „I wonder if there's day and night around here.“ Following her gaze and furrowing his brows in worry he felt like she'd be reading his mind when she voiced what was running through it. „Yeah, you're right. IF there's a night we better should find shelter soon.“

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„No.“ „Joshua, we...“ „I said no!“ As happy as Laura was that her son was talking to them again, as distressed as she was by his answers. Bill tried his best to convince the drummer of going home with them, as the doctor had given his ok, but Josh stubborn declined while he helped his mum to back up his bag. „You can't help Tyler around here, and Jenna and his parents will be with him 24/7, so there won't even be all too much room for you. The nurses told me that they can't wait to get some people out of there already, as there are two other coma patients to take care for, and they can't deal with that much visitors all the time.“ the older Dun tried another time, just to earn another glare from his son. „I'm staying. I don't care if I can see him. I'm not leaving this town until he wakes up or is dead.“ „Son, I know you're a grown man but....“ Placing her hand on her husbands shoulder Laura ended what could have gotten a fight then by shaking her head and rubbing his plate gently. „Bill, I think we should accept Joshuas decission. Like you said, he's an adult. Just...promise me you'll stay with your friends. Mark and Brad have rented an appartment not far away from here, they told me they'd have plenty of space for some more people. I just don't want you to be alone in this, ok?“ Stopping in his actions the drummer bit his lip and pondered to dissent, but knew all too well how insistent his mother could be. Her calm, understanding way of commanding him was what had brought him through the darker part of his youth, when he had been aggressive and hostile towards others and himself. Laura had never picked fights, she just had taken the lead, subtle and gentle, but with irrevocable force, and she did now too, telling him subtly she would make him go with her if he wouldn't agree. „Fine. I stay with them.“ 

Releasing a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding Bill sat down on the bed then, watching how the other two proceeded to pack up Joshs things. „I've talked to Chris this morning. They'll fly a specialist from the east coast in in a few days. He's a luminary in trauma treatment, appeareantly, and his written a ton of books on artificial coma. They hope he can maybe assess if...“ breaking his sentence Bill realised that it might not be good to tell his son this, but it was too late, Josh already had picked up on his defeated tone. „If what?“ he asked, turning around slowly, fixing his father with cold eyes. Giving him a sign to go on, as she knew the drummer wouldn't let it be now he sensed something, Laura got ready to comfort her son. „Jenna said she needs to know if there are any chances left that Tyler will wake up again. He has a testament he made a few years ago noone knew about, that overrules the advance directive that puts her in charge. It says that he wants machines to be stopped if the chance for him to wake up is lower then 15% in a case like this.“ Both of the parents had braced for a fierce reaction, still they winced when Josh gripped the table and threw it against the wall with a cry.

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Going through his harddrive Mark tried to sort out which videos could be usefull for Jennas purpose. It was a hard way to pass the time though, as the most of them had only been taken a few days before the accident. Klicking on another one he leaned back and absently scrached the cast, as his skin itched under it, but not enough to make him get up and search for some kind of stick. The video started out messy, as if he had pointed the camera to ground while walking, then stabbled as he had picked it up and aimed at what he had wanted to film. He recognised the scene, it was a park they had found on a stop, and had decided to get some fresh air there, Josh going for a run and the others joining in a game of frisbee. Tyler and Jenna had seperated themselves from the group a bit though, as downtime with each other alone was rare these days for them, and Mark remembered how his friend had pulled a baseball bat somewhere out of the bus. The lens focused on the two of them now, from a little further away, as they were standing in the beaming sunlight. Jenna wore a simple dress, like she often did, while Tyler was all in black, the plain shirt hanging off his lanky statue. He had slung his arms around his wife and held her hands on the bat, showing her how to swing it the right way, while he joked and teased her, Jenna throwing her head back and laughing one of those beautiful laughs the singer had fallen for from day one. She got more concentrated though when he told her to fix an imaginery ball and drew his arms back, so she could try on her own. Swinging the bat out hard Jenna hit the non existing baseball and let the bat fall, throwing her hands in the air and doing a yell of victory, while Tyler closed the gap between them and picked her up, spun them around and then kissed her, deep and with passion, which she returned, the whole picture giving of how happy and in love they were. 

Mark knew exactly why he had filmed this, although he would never use it in one of the tourvideos or other official releases. It was Tylers personal videographic journal, one Mark had started years ago, without telling his friend about it. Knowing the singer for a long while the videographer had seen darker days, the one's where Tyler had fought do stay alive for totally different reasons then he did now. When Jenna came along, everything had changed. She was like a sun that warmed everyone around her, and she made Tyler a better person. If Mark was really honest to himself, she made him a better person too. The videographer had planned to document their love for each other over the years, so he could give them an hour long video as present, to a big anniversary, or maybe the birth of their first child. Now he realised that these precious moments, banned on his cam, might be everything that Jenna would have left, once Tylers body gave up and followed his mind into the darkness. Stopping the video and pushing the laptop shut Mark let his head fall onto it and gave into the urge to cry. Maybe his friends wife had been right. Maybe he was a heathen. Because no matter how hard he wanted to believe god would help his friend, that was a follower of Christ himself, deep inside he knew the only one able to help the singer was himself.

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„I'm sorry, Mrs. Banks, but i need you to leave so we can get Sandra ready for the transfer.“ Shooting up agitated the woman stepped inbetween her daughters bed and the nurse that had just came in. „Transfer? What are you talking about? Where do you take her?“ Observing her irritated the nurse shrugged. „Into the bigger room? The one with the spare beds for you and your other daughter?“ „But...but I've not confirmed this? I mean...who has...I don't think we can effort...“ Stepping through the door as well now Jill walked up to her mother, her eyes full of tears, but Sydney could tell right away it were not sad ones running down her daughters face. „It's ok mum. Don't worry. God just send us an angel. Everything will be alright.“


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This Story tends out to be much longer then I thought....still, I'm at it and still a few chapters ahead, so don't worry, this one will be ended :)

„Yo, Ken!“ Letting himself fall onto the chair beside the assistent Dr. Carson winced on the approach, but accepted it as given. „Hello Sanchez! How're things going down here?“ Shrugging the young man typed some commands into the laptop before him and started the screens around them. „Pretty well! Big boss came down this morning to make sure we're all on top of our game today. Not often that we get two zombies to test through.“ Sighing the older man rolled his eyes on that. „You mean patients, Sanchez, patients.“ „Whatever!“ the assistent brushed him off, focusing on the panels again. Leaning back Carson closed his eyes and tried to relax, when he caught up on what the other had said. „Wait...TWO patients? I thought we'd only have mine today?“ „Nope. They brought in the girly too...boss wants them to be tested parallel....for science, you know.“ „That makes no sense...,“ pointing at the girl that just got applicated with electrodes to her shaved head Dr. Carson got on, „she'll only be tested once, she'll be transfered to basic care tomorrow.“ „Aaaaaand nope again. We're doing the full range on both of them. Something about an outstanding chance for groundbreaking data if he can compare them.“ Standing up and wanting to head out Dr. Carson grunted, „She's a non insurance patient.“ and wanted to leave to correct the fault, but Sanchez held him back. „Yeah, but appeareantly your patients wife will cover all bills for her.“ 

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There was no sunset, no slow fading of light, the world turned dark around them from one moment to the other. It was a different kind of night too, no moon, no source of brightness, just pitch black darkness. „What is this shit?“ the girl cursed when they came to an halt, when he stopped as he couldn't even see were he set his feet. Knowing that she probably couldn't see him either the man tried to tell her that he had no clue by tapping his fingers lightly on her back, and strangely she seemed to understand him right away. „Yeah, I realised you're not the brightest.“ she huffed, her fear translating into her assault, so he didn't take it too much to his heart. „Fuck. And stop that tapping.“ Being still immediatly he shook his head about himself, being so obidient to her, but waited for her to go on as he had no idea what to do else. „Let's be logic for a moment, ok? This...sun...has moved pretty fast, right? Given that fact, the night might last not all too long either. And...we haven't met anyone else or any animals. I guess we're safe if we just stay were we are.“ Setting her down on the ground, agreeing to that, the man carefully fumbled the ground around them to make sure there were nothing sharp or hard around, and lay down, as his exhaustion hit him hard. Still he was neither hungry nor thirsty, but felt drained, as if the last hours events had sucked every ounce of energy out of him. Dozing off slowly he opened his eyes again though, when he heared a small sob beside him. Reaching out his hand they first landed on the girls shoulder, so he let his fingers trace slowly upwards until he found her face and felt the wetness there. 

Wishing he could say something he left her cheeks and went the other way, searching for her hand and interlacing their fingers. Her crying just got harder on that, as if her strength faltered on their contact, and she had trouble speaking, still she did. „D...Do you...do you think we'll survive this? I mean...we...we aren't dead already or something?“ Feeling a sting in his heart on her desperation the man carefully inched closer and slung his arm around her, pulling her into him so she could rest her head on his shoulder. „I...I miss mom...“ she exclaimed, and he patted her back sympathically, wondering if she started to remind who she were. Still there was nothing he could do then listen, and run his hand lightly up and down her back, calming her down as good as he could. The girl went silent then, still sniffing, soaking his shirt with her tears, but by time she went limp and fell asleep, and taking a deep breath he closed his eyes and tried to fade out too.

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„Jenna!“ Running up towards the woman and the couple standing with her, Jill fell into the blondes' arms and hugged her thightly, happy to feel the effort being returned. „Hey, sweety! How are you today?“ the older gave brightly, trying to hide how tired and drained she felt. After coming back to the hospital Jenna had spent a good part of the night with talking to Tyler, endless hours of an onesided conversation, that wore down her nervs to the point where she hadn't been able to take it anymore and tried to went to sleep. Tossing around in the sheets, the constant beep of his heart screen disturbing every of her attempts to shut her mind off, she had given up around four in the morning and had grabbed a journal out of her bag. Jenna spent the last hours before sun came up again and Kelly and Chris returned to their son, so she could go have another shower, with writing her thoughts down. His parents had silently came across with her to not leave him alone at any time, and soon Mark and Brad would join into the circle of his administrators, maybe Josh too, although Jenna was unsure if that was a good idea. She hadn't seen the drummer yet, but what Mark had told her about his reactions didn't made her looking foreward to it all too much. The both of them were close, albeit not as close as he and Tyler were, but Jenna and Josh had shared a lot more then some people thought. The drummer had welcomed her with open arms, right away, and she had accepted the strangely close bond he and her husband held. There had been a lot of times when people asked her furtively if she was not afraid of the two men getting a little too close at times, but she had always denied with a smile. Jenna knew there was no cause for jeallousy, even if she caught them cuddling or Tyler refused to talk about his problems to her but called Josh instead. They were soulmates, and she felt that, but that was exaclty why she knew that she wouldn't be able to deal with the drummers pain. It reflected her own way too much. 

Being ripped out of her thoughts by the girl releasing her Jenna did a step back and smiled at the woman, that had followed Jill, and now stood a few feet from them, looking nervous and uncertain. Using her natural charm the blonde reached out her hand. „Mrs. Banks? Hello, my name is Jenna Joseph. I'm...“ „I know. You're his wife.“ the woman interrupted her, her voice cold and distant in a way. „See, Mrs. I'm not going to take a lot of your time. I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate what you're trying to do, but we don't need your pitty. To be honest, I don't even want it! If it hadn't been for your husband and his damn band, my kid wouldn't be here at all!“ Startled by this reaction Jenna didn't knew what to say, but she didn't had to, as Kelly stepped around her and beside the other woman. „Maybe the two of us should go and grab a coffee...“ she gave, in a voice that insisted that there was not much option to decline, still friendly enough to not shy the other woman away. „And you are?“ Sydney asked, taken back. Trying to give her a smile but failing Kelly realised that maybe exactly that was what made the other woman think twice. „I'm Tylers mom. And believe me...noone else knows better how you feel right now then I do.“ 

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Opening the slide door and letting the bag fall to the floor beside the bed Brad made room for his friend to step in. „You can have that room. Mark has the other, I'll take the couch.“ „You don't need to, Brad. I'm perfectly fine there.“ Josh exclaimed, already turning and wanting to leave, but the photographer snatched his arm and held him back. „Stop being stupid! You'll be not. Your ribs must hurt like hell and I'm not injured at all so spare me your attempt to be a badass. We both know you're not.“ Huffing the drummer sat down on the bed then, well knowing his friends grumpyness was just his usual behaviour, hiding his pain behind it, but not really meant to be mean. Opening the closet and starting to unpack Joshs things Brad tried to sound repellent „Are you coming with us to see him today? Jenna requested some music there, she thinks it might help him if he hears your shitty drumming. Could help to hear your voice too.“ There was no answer and the photographer turned, finding the other slumbed over, his hands on his face, shoulders trembling. Brad had never been good in comforting people, and he didn't knew how to start with that now, so he decided to not even try but offer a distraction. „Oh come on, Joshua, don't be a baby. Ya' all act like Tyler would be a weak twink! He's fucking Tyler Joseph, death is not something he does, he hasn't in the past and he won't do now!“ It wasn't enough to dry the tears, still Josh couldn't help but chuckle on that. 

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Giving the nurse a „thumbs-up“ Dr. Carson turned towards the screens. „Ok Sanchez. We start with the lowest electric impulse and simoultanly increase on both of them. Take it slow, ok, I want to have time to watch.“ „You got it, K!“ the assisstant threw at him and Carson pinched the bridge of his nose. This was going to be a long, long day.

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The crash was close enough to send him straight up and the man nearly tripped over the girl beside him, that awoke screaming too. „SHIT! What was that?“ she yelled, and more out of instinct then real reaction he picked her up and spun around, trying to find the source of the loud noise in the darkness. Only seconds later he knew, although it wasn't a pleasent recognision, as a lightning bolt stroke down a few feet in front of them, ripping the night appart and illuminated the landscape around them for a split of a second. There was no thunder, and he had seen no clouds, still the next bolt followed instantly, even closer now, as if they were moving towards them. The girl screamed „RUN!“ the same moment he started to dash through the darkness, not paying heet to that he didn't see where he went, the panic taking him over and giving him additional strength. Behind them the ground was burned by another stroke, it gave him a second of sight, makeing him more sure in his movements, as there was nothing but the grey sand, nothing he could trip over or run against. Still he braced for a fall while he ran, telling himself to be aware, to turn them if he should stumble, so he'd not crash her under him. Coming to a stop instantly as another lightning crashed directly before his feet he changed direction, his breath already hitching and making it hard to keep up the speed. Still, the bolts followed them whereever they went, forcing them to turn around three times more, the man getting slower and slower as he felt the ground under him change, getting harder to run on, sucking his feet in in a way. The girl paniced more and more, threw curses and pleas at him, told him to „Get your fucking self together and run, for gods sake!“, her voice overstrained and highpitched, hurting his ears. Assembling all the last resources he could find the man tried to go on, but lost his balance and dashed to the ground when a lightning hit them straight on.

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„...made her exam last year. We were so proud...my husband got her the car. The car Sandy was...“ breaking into tears Sydney Banks squeeked a „Sorry!“ and tried to get herself together again, adding „I honestly don't know why I'm even telling you that.“ „Because I asked about that wonderful kids of yours.“ Kelly tried to reassure her with a smile. „And because it makes things a little easier if we're reminded on how they did when they weren't hurt, doesn't it?“ Looking at her with a strange kind of expression Sydney whiped her tears and sighed. „I...I shouldn't have attacked your daughter in law that way. I...I know that it wasn't really your sons fault. But...“ „It's fine. You search for a cause, like I'm tempted to do too. But the thing is...situations like that doesn't have a cause. They happen, if they're deserved or not. All we can do is trust in gods plan for our kids. And I'm pretty sure he has a plan for Tyler still.“ Shaking her head the other woman sighed. „I'm no believer. Your god has never done me any good. He has never helped me, or someone I love.“ Reaching out and placing a hand on her arm Kelly answered with a question. „Well...have you ever asked for his help?“

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Coming back from Dr. Carsons office in a strange mood Jenna swung the door to her husbands room open and stepped inside, taking her signature place beside him, starting to talk to him right away. „I'm proud of you Ty, I really am! You did so well today! Dr. Carson said there where signs you reacted to the stimulation!“ Leaning foreward and placing both of her arms on his bed, propping her chin on them she smiled up to his mask of a face, the tube in his mouth disturbing the image of him being peacefull asleep, and a shudder ran through her as she realised she didn't even mind that one so much anymore. It had become a part of him in days, just like his microphone had been a part of him before. „See...“ letting her fingertips dance across his chest, carefully avoiding the red, angry scars, Jenna proceeded, „I understand what you were trying to do with that last will. I've read the letter you have added to it. And it speaks books about what kind of man you are Tyler. To tell me that you set me free, that I should go find a new husband and be happy if you're damaged to a point that leaves no hope...I don't think I could ever have gotten a more sincerely proove of your love. But...even if you'd die...I could never, ever love someone else. I promised to be with you, until death does us appart. But honestly...when I did that vowe I promised god that I would be with you until the end of time.“ 

Silent tears falling down her face, painting the white sheets with a messy pattern, Jennas voice broke. „I know you're still in there, I can feel it. And I know you're fighting. You didn't give up years ago and I'm sure you'll not start giving up now. But Ty...“ leaning her front against his bare chest, the little warmth he still radiated giving her the illusion of closeness, „you need to try a little harder. I know you might be exhausted and maybe you're desperate too. But you need to keep on fighting, do you hear me? Please...just keep on fighting...“ Jenna hoped so much there would be a sign, a twitch of his finger, a fludder of his eyelids, a grunt, anything that prooved her he understood, he was trying to come back to her. But Tyler stayed silent, motionless, his mind far away in another dimension, one noone else but him and the girl in the room next door knew of.

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Feeling like an intruder Sydney did a few steps into the hospitals chappel, before she stopped and shook her head, turned around. Still she didn't walk out, just mumbled a „This is so ridicolous!“ to herself, and did another try. This time she went beyond the frist few rows, until she was in the middle of the room, sliding into one of the wooden benches, and folding her hand, fumbling with her wedding ring a bit. It had been years since she had been to church, as Sydney hadn't been brought up in a super religious family, but had attended services on holidays like christmas. The woman still knew a few of the words though, and wondered if it was those stiff prayers she should send, but decided otherwise. The conversation with Tylers mother had made her think a lot. Not only had Kelly told her about her son, making a person beyond the fame out of him, she had told her about her faith too. About how god had saved him once already, and how Kellys relationship with the lord had changed after that. How she realised that there was a purpose they all were meant for, and that worship didn't ly in repeating the same old words over and over, but in the actions that she set every day. That Tyler and Jenna lived in the same spirit, and her daughter in laws decission to pay for Sandras treatment was nothing less then a gracefull act in the name of god, as the blonde was a passionate follower of christ. 

Sydney wasn't sure if it was possible for her to find comfort in a prayer. But she understood and accepted Jennas actions now, as she understood that Tylers wife was not the one she should thank for what she did. It hadn't been pitty that motivated her, it had been real faith. And that, Mrs. Banks found, held an own kind of beauty. Smiling nervously she made sure that she still was alone in the room before she started, with a whisper, that soon got a steady voice. „I know I haven't been the best of your children in the past,“ she adressed a god she was now a little more sure was there, „and I hope you forgive me that I never talked to you for all those years. I feel greedy, unworthy coming to you now, as I need your help, and not when you asked me to follow...but I hope my chance has not passed, and you still will grant me the honour to be a part of my life.“ Taking a shaky breath Sydney closed her eyes and prayed from deep out of her heart, „Lord, I ask you to let your light shine over Sandra and Tyler. They are deep in need of your guidance and shelter, and I beg your to hold your hand over their pure souls. I beg you to either bring them back to us, let them heal...or take them into your kingdome and let them sit at your table. But lord...please end their suffering. Don't let them float in this balance of life and death. They don't deserve it, none of them. Whatever you decide to do, I'll be faithfull in your wisdom, and I promise...from now on I'll live by your word.“

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Blue, cold light engulfed them when the girl came back to conciousness again. She shilded her eyes for a second, as the strange sun shone directly above her, but soon got used to the not so bright light again. There was no moment of confussion, the memory hit her right away, and with a gasp she shot up, looked around frantically, finding the man lying on the ground beside of her, on his back, looking like he was dead. Starting to tremble all over she got on her hands and knees and crawled over to him, tears running down her face. Reaching his unmoving shape she placed her hands on his shoulders and shook him violently, a broken „Please...oh no...Please...wake up!“ falling from her lips. There was no reaction and she started to cry even more, letting her hands trace over his neck, trying to find a puls, more desperate pleas flowing out of her, but it seemed hopeless, his spirit gone. Throwing herself at him now, slunging her arms around him and pressing her face into his chest she cried, not recognising how his lids started to move, slowly were opened, shut again and opened, as he found back into this reality. He instantly felt the weight of her body, the way she let her hands run up and down his shoulders and arms, while she said „Sorry...I'm so sorry!“ over and over again and the thought hit him so fast that he shot up and send her flying beside him. The girl still did a squeek of joy and was at him in the split of a second again, jumping in his lap and pressing herself thight against him, laughing „Oh god...I thought you left me!“ in his ear. 

He couldn't resist to return her hug and laugh too, although he was eager to point out a fact to her, that she seemed to not have gotten yet. Soon though he layed his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back a bit, so she could read from his lips and the girl needed a few tries, as she couldn't see him clear through her tears. „Move? Hugh? You want me to move? What...“ her eyes widening she exclaimed „HOLY SHIT!“ and sprung up, looking down on her body in disbelieve, shaking her arms and feet as if they had never been paralyzed, spinned around her own axe and did a jump, throwing her head back in joy. „YES!!! FUCKING YEEEEEEES!“ she yelled, excited to no end, turning around and beaming at the man who still sat on the ground, smiling up to her happily. Her features changed though as she looked at him. „Wait...you still can't speak, right?“ Shrugging the man got up, as if it wasn't even from interest what happened to him, and took her hand, gestureing her to resume their walk to the mountains.


	8. Chapter 8

Hugging Jenna a little longer then it maybe would have been decent Mark felt how much she needed this contact right now. The blonde didn't look like she had been crying, in the opposite, her Make up was perfect as always, but she was not able to hide her sadness from him nontheless. Being one of their closest friends the videographer felt it radiating in the way her hands clasped to his shirt, read it in the dark bags under her eyes that she had tried to hide so desperatly. Still they broke appart by time, Jenna turning to Brad, who stood beside them kind of lost, stepping from one feet to the other. The bearded man grunted when she pulled him in her arms too, but let it happen and leaned his chin on her soft hair, closing his eyes for a second. In this moment, they all were family, and Brad couldn't resist that, even if he tried. Picking up the bag with his laptop and cam Mark stepped closer to the desk in front of the singers bed then, briefly ignoring the non-moving figure, fixing his eyes on his task and keeping his hands busy by setting up everything. Brad went straight over to Tyler though and sat down beside him, his expression unreadable while he starred at the singer in silence, as if he'd try to communicate with him in a thelepatic way. Watching him for a moment Jenna went over to him then and took place on the bed, took Tylers hand and started to talk to him. „Hey babe, see who's come to visit you. Grumpy Cat and Videoboy are here!“ Bursting into laughter Mark resumed to set up his gear while Brad gave her a what was supposed to be a mean stare, but just underlined her nickname for him. Ignoring it the blonde got on. „I'm sorry Joshua can't come and see you today. He's...he's not there yet. Don't be mad at him, please, he has just a really hard time accepting what happened.“ Finding her effords to lead a conversation with a dead brain ridicolous Brad hissed „The fuck ALL of us have a hard time seeing him like that.“ but went silent again when Mark kicked his shin from the side. 

Unimpressed by his reaction Jenna ran her hand over Tylers face. „Mark has a surprise for you though. You must be bored to no end without your music, so I asked him to bring his recordings along. We decided on the MSG show, night 1 today. You know, the one where you brought Zack on stage. By the way, him and Maddison will come by in a few days, and Jay as soon as his exams are done. They all miss you bigtime.“ Folding his arms Brad leaned back and listened, while the blond kept babbling, and quiet music set in from the laptop behind him. Soon Tylers voice filled the room and it hit all three of them harder then they had been prepared for. Jennas speech faded, she lowered her head and closed her eyes, biting her lip to not break into tears, while Mark stepped beside of her and slung an arm around her shoulders, now looking down on his friend for the first time since he had entered, his lip quivering as well. Only for a few minutes Brad was able to take it, before he stood up and left, pulling the door shut with a bang and punching the wall on the outside, leaving his knuckles bleeding. Tyler slept through all of this, ignoring his own voice telling him to „Please, stay alive!“...or at least it seemed like that for the ones who not knew where he was right now.

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There were no clouds on the sky, still it began to rain. The first small dropplets hit the mans head and he looked up, another one splashing on his face. They were transperent, still had substance in a strange kind of way, and the girl voiced what he thought, as both of them starred to the ground, now slowly covered with small piles of the unsusual looking beads. „That...that are notes!“ she observed, let go of his hand and knelt down, picked up a few and held them towards him, so he could see them better. The man ignored her though it seemed, he still had his head in his neck and seemed to listen, to a melody she couldn't hear, his adams apple moving as if he would hum along. The strange rain became harder, the piles turning into pools of notes all around their feet, but it wasn't terrifying to them, more a soothing thing, the notes hitting their skin soft and leaving a tickling feeling there. Drinking in his smile the girl was glad to see him like this, she still had remorse that her status had improved while his hadn't. The girl could tell it bothered him a lot that he lost his voice, she had understood that he thought it was new, that he had been able to talk before they were thrown into whatever this was. Right now she wondered, if he hadn't also been singing, because his lips moved and his eyes lit up with every additional note falling down on them. And suddenly, she heared the music too. It was a familiar one, that pulled on the strings of her soul, still she couldn't name it, couldn't remind the words. Reassambling the melody though she started to sing, filling the blank spaces with syllabys, and they both smiled happy at each other, while they shared this beautiful moment, the rain of notes soothing their hearts.

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Cocking her head to the side a bit so she could hear the music coming from next door better, Jill smiled as she recongised „Addict with a pen“ playing, which had always been Sandras most favourite song. Jenna had told her that they wanted to trigger Tyler with as many familiar things they found, and she had picked up on the idea, bringing her sister a pillow that she had requsted her dad took with him when he came back to them again. It smelled like home, the scent even more prominent between the clinical hospital sheets, and even if it wouldn't help Sandra...Jill felt way better with it around in an instant. Her parents had taken off a litte bit of time, Clay had insisted to take Tylers parents out for lunch after he had got to known them better, and so she was left alone with her sister, which she didn't mind too much. Jill had taken over the nurses routine to wash the teen and wrung out a towel so she could clean they youngers face a bit, as she suddenly startled. First she thought her mind was playing tricks on her as Jill saw a twitch on her sisters lips, but it reoccured and formed into a small smile, the girls lips curling around the tube in her mouth, giving her features a trace of life. Rushing out of the room, stumbling over her own feet Jill fell into the arms of Dr. Carson, who was on the way to check up on his patient. „She's smiling!“ she screamed at him happily, „My little sister waking up!“

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Leaning over the rail of the balcony, his body in a dangerous balance, Josh looked down on the concrete far below him. He wasn't really planning to jump or fall, this was more like testing fate, and it gave him a sense of controll in a time where he felt like he had no controll at all. Brad hadn't asked him about joining them in visiting Tyler again and Mark wasn't talking to him at all. Josh resumed it was the same cause why he had no desire to speak to the videographer. The last time they had been around each other Mark had done everything to hold Tyler alive, while Josh had been out of his mind, and neither of them were ready to be reminded of that awefully moments right now. The drummer felt ungreatfull for not using the chance god had given them in letting his best friend live...or exist, he found that was the better phrase for the status the singer was in, but he just couldn't bring himself to go to the hospital, to sit down beside Tyler and talk to him. Since the moment they met the both of them had felt a connection to each other that went far beyond friendship, a kind of love even, although it was not of romantic nature. Tyler was his soulmate, like the other side of his coin, the missing piece to his puzzle, and the both of them had cherrished that deeply, no matter how strange other people found the way they did it. For the first time ever Josh now felt disconnected to his friend, and he was empty inside, sucked out of emotions, darkness creeping into him and overtaking his thinking, they way he dreamed. The drummer had shot up at night for uncountable times, the image of Tylers bloody face tattooed behind his eyelids, and no tears could wash it out or make it fade. Grabbing the rail hard and leaning a little further Josh decided that, if Tyler would die, his own life would come to an end too. 

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„We can't tell if it was a unconcious reaction of her muscles or an activity in her brain, but we definitly want to test her as soon as possible. Your daughter thinks it might have been the music triggering it, and so we asked Mr. Eshleman to help us, which he will.“ Turning to Kelly and Chris, who stood beside the Banks, Dr. Carson resumed. „If you and his wife are alright with this we'd love to link Tyler to the EEG-amplifyer too to see if it had an effect on him. It's possible, even if there were no visual signs of it. Plus...it might help us to understand artificial coma better in the future, as we seldom have the chance to compare to patients directly like that.“ „I'll talk to Jenna, but I'm pretty sure she'll be all in on this!“ Kelly gave a small nod and headed off, while Chris stayed with the Banks when the doctor excused himself and went to do the preperations. Sydney fell into her husbands arms and sighed, not sure how she felt about all of this. „It's a good sign!“ Tylers father shrugged, sounding as if he tried to convince himself of that. Locking eyes with him Clay Banks smiled, knowing exactly how hard it was for the other man to grab on to hope as his kid hadn't moved or shown signs of brain activity at all, and wanting to give him a heads up. „Yeah it is! And I'm sure Tyler is on the way to get better too.“

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The notes had dried into the sand, changing it's colour. It was no longer simply grey, but small dots of blue, red, white, black in it. Walking on they found a few spots where the colours even formed kind of a sign, three simple, plain blocks, one straight, the other slightly skipped to the side, the third connecting them. Neither of them knew what this should mean, but it was something good, they discussed, the mans hands flying whenever he talked, the girl now totally effortless reading his language. It was as if singing together, him in his mind, her with her tongue, had brought them to a deeper understanding with each other, the girl nearly felt his words in her head. „Maybe these are signposts?“ he said with the move of his right hand, and she shrugged, tasting the idea before she approved it. „Maybe. The question is, where does they lead us?“ Letting her eyes shift to the horizon she sighed, the distance to the mountains appearingy unchanged. The man drew a circle with his hand and then placed it over his heart, the word „Home.“ being born in her head. Linking her arm under his the girl stepped over the sign and pulled him along gently, both of them falling into a comfortable pace. „I've been thinking. I can recognise that I have a mother. I mean, obviously, everyone has. But I somehow I feel like there's more. I think I have a sister too. I even recall parts of her name, something with J....“ giving him a quick side glance, finding him furrowing his brows in concentration, she decided to give it a try. „Do you remember anything? Like...anything before this at all?“ Not slowing down their pace he shook his head, painting a few words in the air between them. „Oh...so like...nothing? You just woke up in that train and were like...there?“ 

Again he signed, telling her „Pretty much. The only thing I remember is a noise, a bang or crash, it was what woke me up.“ Nodding the girl told she understood. „Yeah, I have heared that too, it was damn loud, even louder then the lightning. Do you think this is a dream? I mean...nothing here is real, isn't it? There's no rain consisting of music, there are no blue suns or pitch black nights on earth.“ „Maybe. Come on, pinch me!“ he told with a dance of his fingers, holding his arm out to her, earning an annoyed glance. „Pain kink, or what?“ Grimacing he raised his other hand signing more. „No, silly, but if this is a dream maybe I'd wake up when you...OUCH!“ Grinning from ear to ear the girl ran her fingertips over the imprint of her nails on his skin. „Nope, not working.“

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Josh had ignored the most of the calls he had gotten, he only picked up if it were his parents checking up on him, but he somehow couldn't turn down this particular one. Brendon had always been one of their most enthusiastic patrons, and the drummer felt like he owned Panic!s singer to talk to him. Still his „What do you want?“ wasn't anywhere near friendly, as he hoped it might shoo the older off, but Brendon wasn't one to be impressed so easy. „Josh! Gosh man, finally! I tried to reach someone for days now, but neither Jenna nor Mark did pick up! What's going on? Talk to me!“ Growling low the drummer let himself sink into the pillows. He had went back to bed again as his rips hurt a lot and there was nothing else to do really, then stretching his body out on the matress. „Nothing's going on.“ „Are you fucking kidding me? The fuck, Joshua, are you alright?“ Giving himself a few moments to breath the younger shook his head, although he knew Brendon couldn't see it. „No, man...I'm not alright.“ There was short silence on the other side of the line, before the singer spoke again, his voice soft and caring. „J...I know it's hard...but...don't keep it inside, boy! We both know I know you better then you think, so spill.“ Turning in the bed, wet traces running down his cheeks Josh opened up then, the first time since the accident, the physical distance between him and Brendon helping him to do so. 

„He's...“ gulping a sob he tried again, „Bren...he's dying! I'm loosing him! I...I was so rude...he just wanted to play another game and I told him to fuck himself!“ The singer snorted on, that, quick to answer and not let the other fall into a panic. „Oh come on Joshy, you wouldn't even tell Tyler to fuck himself if you'd find him with an actual dildo between his legs.“ „Asshole!“ „Proud of it. Now tell, what's really wrong?“ Biting his lip Josh tried to calm down as much as he could, although breathing was hard right now. „It's my fault! If I would have just agreed to that damn game, he wouldn't have gotten up to get me a fucking Yoohoo. He would have been in his bunk just like me. We'd lay in this bed right now and tease each other about our fucking broken bones, annoying Jenna with our meal requests.“ „I'm sure you're pretty annoying without him too!“ It was a laugh of desperation the drummer gave on that, still it was a laugh, that made Brendon release the breath he had been holding while the younger spoke.“Listen, J, whatever happened the minutes before you crashed...this is NOT your fault! It's not his or anyone elses on that bus either! The only person responsible for this is the drunken driver, and he got what he deserved.“ Perking up Josh rolled to his back again, whiping his nose with the sheets. „What do you mean?“ A silent curse was audible, Brendon appearently scolding himself for not keeping his mouth shut. „You haven't heared, I assume...the guy was dead right away. The girls car hit him from the drivers side and he broke his neck. Like I said...he got what he deserved although I'd have loved to know he suffered. Yeah, I'm a bastard like this!“ 

Stunned the drummer didn't knew what to make out of that information yet, so he tried to keep the conversation going. Being alone didn't sound all too appealing right now. „There were another car? I'm sorry, I don't remind that much, I just remember crawling over metal and...“ his voice faded as the flashback hit him, and Josh shot up, heaving all over the bed and himself, the phone falling out of his hand. „Josh? Joshua? Fuck, J, are you ok?“ Brendons panicing voice came muffled from the floor while the drummer gripped his head and just screamed. 

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„That's good, that's really, really good!“ Dr. Carson smiled, turning around and giving the relatives that had gathered outside of the observation room a sign that made them fall into each others arms. „Steady brain function on the girl, irregular ones on your patient. Congratz, Kenny-boy!“ Sanchez slurred, and although Carson realised he was probably drunk he ignored the rogue assisstant. To be honest, he hadn't really thought that it would work, but obviously music could do a lot more then the doctor had thought. He even started to absently tap his foot in time with the quick drumbeat, and adjuged that the song wasn't that bad. „Hey, I like that tune!“ Sanchez exclaimed, nodding his head in the rythm, „What's the band called?“ „You've been living under a rock lately, haven't you?“ Carson gave with a smirk, „That's Twentyone Pilots. And the guy in there, thats brain you roasted yesterday, is their lead singer.“ 

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The blue sun had slowed down, compared with the first day, but still it vanished from one minute to the other again. The both of them stopped and sat down together, keeping their bodies in touch so they could talk, the man now translating his thoughts into taps on the girls shoulder, as she cuddled up to his side and slung his arm around her. „You're pretty comfy, you know?“ she gave him as kind of an apology, although she felt like he didn't mind her being that close the slightest. Maybe he needed this just as much as she did, and so she didn't relucate to place her head on his shoulder too. There were a few quick tapps on her skin and she smiled. „Yeah, right, if you were a little less skeleton like you'd work as a matress too.“ The taps got a little harder, telling her „Hey! I'm not THAT thin!“ which she answered with a snorted „You ARE.“ They fell silent then, enjoying each others body heat, none of them tired enough to sleep yet. Gnawing her lip the girl tried to come up with ideas. „Do you think we can make a fire or something? I honestly have no idea how, but it would be nice to have a little light. This“, gestureing around although he couldn't see she resumed, „sucks big time! It's hard enough to understand you when I can see your face, but with only feeling you it's like you'd stutter all the time.“ Feeling her head move she realised he shrugged, which annoyed her a little, as he always did that when he was out of ideas himself. „Oh man, you're really not an ace in thinking, aren't you? I wonder what you did before you came here. I mean...you must have had a job or something, your an adult...or you look like one at least....no wait, you don't, babyface!“ His chuckle vibrated through his chest and gave her a warm feeling inside. The girl was glad she could make him laugh, she felt like it was essential, like he needed her in a way to get through this, just like she depended on him all the way. Turning her head and placing an innocent kiss on his cheek she was glad it was dark then, so he couldn't see her blush. „Thank you. You know...for being there for me.“ The kiss was returned to her temple and she sighed, happy to feel that it was as much an expression of pure friendship then hers had been.


	9. Chapter 9

„...unbelievable!“ Brad gave grinning from ear to ear as he pushed the apartments door open and held it, so Mark could slip through. „If you look at it from a more humorous standpoint...Tyler always used to pump his music no matter where he were, so it's not THAT surprising.“ The jingle of his phone ringing what was the eigth time in minutes Mark growled and fumbled the device out of his Jeans' pocket with his good hand. „I swear if Urie tries to call me one more time I'm going to personally strangle him with a fedora!“ Tossing the keys aside Brad huffed. „You're aware that would more likely make him cum then die, right?“ „Ewwww, man, I haven't lunched yet! Thanks for giving me that picture.“ Laughing the photographer went deeper into the living area of the apartment, feeling strangely good. Brad didn't want to call himself euphoric, but the way the doctor had been smiling told that whatever had happened today had been a great improvement. Launching himself on the couch he stretched his arms over his head, yelling „JOSH! We're home!“ down the hallway, earning an glare from Mark in the process. „Dude! Maybe he's asleep!“ „And IF he is he should get his ass up, it's 2 p.m. for christs sake!“ Rolling his eyes his friend turned and headed into the direction of the drummers bedroom, but stopped in his track when he passed the bath and heared the shower running. Mark couldn't tell why, but there was a strange feeling in his gut, and so he pushed the door open without even knocking. The moment his eyes fell on the drummer he was glad he had. „Brad! Get your fucking ass in here!“ he yelled before he rushed foreward and shut the cold water off, that rained on Johs head and had soaked all of his cothes. Still a mixture of water, soap and pile sticked to his shirt and he shivered violently, whimpering helpless in a way while he rocked back and forth. 

„FUCK!“ Brad exclaimed wholeheartly as he entered the bathroom, and stepped beside Mark in an instant, both of them grabbing an arm of the drummer and pulling him up. Dragging him out of the tube they lowered him carefully on the floor. „Towels!“ Brad ordered and Mark reacted without thinking, this was not the time to discuss with the other about being polite. While he grabbed an armfull of towels out of the closet in the hallway Brad pulled his Leatherman out of it's bag on his belt and let the sharp knife shoot up. Grabbing Joshs shirt and cutting it in a half, the drummers weak protests interrupted by caughs, he gestured Mark to dry him off, while he went for the pants. Again Joshs tried to resist them, to say something, but Brads nervs weren't built for things like that. He had have too much of a good day to let it be ruined and so all the tension he had held over the past week broke at once. „HOLD FUCKING STILL DUN!“ he yelled at the younger, that went completly still in an instant, looking at him wide eyed and if as he would have been shaken out of another reality. His cheeks burning up Brad did a deep breath and continued at full volume. „You fucking idiot! What do you think you're doing? Drowning yourself in a fucking bathtube or what?“ „Brad...“ „Shut the fuck up, Mark! Josh needs to hear this! He needs to fucking stop trying to get attention!“ „Man...“ „Don't you dare!“ Turning his head and looking at Mark the photographer stopped his assault, realising how pale the other was. Mark stood a few feet from them, shaking all over, a rip in his cast, tears running over his face. „Shit! You're alright bro?“ „No...but...that's not the point. We need to get him warm, fast. This was no attempt, this is a panic attack!“ Brad knew instantly that this was serious, and grabbed his pride by the balls, punched it right in the face and shoved it down, turning to Josh again, now significantly calmer. „Ok, boy...let's get you hot!“ 

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Jenna paced. She paced since about 30 minutes, tried to find reasons why this was a bad idea, impossible, insane to think of, but she couldn't come up with any. Also, she was fairly sure, that even if she found a point, Kelly wouldn't have let it count. Tyler had told her a lot about how insistent and hard to impress his mother could be, but Jenna had never felt it that directly as she did now. „But what if he wakes up?“ the blonde tried a last time to avert what her mother in law had decided, failing misserably again. „Darling, believe me, there's nothing I wish more...but we both know that it's probalby not going to happen in the next few hours. And even if it would...I'll be right on his side and you'll be the first to know. I promise I won't even go to toilett. I'll not leave him out of my eye for a single second.“ Defeated Jenna slumbed down on the chair beside her husband and took his hand, played with his fingers, starring down on them, while Kelly resumed. „You deserve a night out, Jen. And if Tyler could he would tell you the exact same thing. Chris has found a nice little movie theater he'll take you and Jill to, and afterwards him and Clay will treat you girls with a great reastaurant. I did already book you girls room in the hotel, it has a Jakuzie and you can call in a massager if you like. You'll have a wonderfull sleep and will be back rested tomorrow morning.“ Hating how much she sounded like her son right now Jenna still didn't answer her. She felt trapped, as if she'd been forced to leave him, although she knew it wasn't that way. 

Kellys and Chris intentions were honourable, they just wanted to give her some time off the sorrows, but she couldn't imagine not thinking about how Tyler was or if he would come back soon. It would have felt like giving up on him, and that was definitly not something Jenna was planning to do. Still Kelly won, like she had known she would, albeit her hitting argument was one that she claimed to be selfish very open. „Also...I haven't had the chance to spent time with him alone. Jenna...before this accident happened, I haven't seen my son in months! I haven't talked to him on the phone for more then a week and I haven't heard his voice outside his songs in like forever. I...I want to be able to talk to him, to mourn him, to be vulnerable without anyone looking just like you do. I know it might be egoistical to ask for...but is one night really so much to ask for a mum that just wants to be with her kid?“ Tracing the fine lines on Tylers wrists Jenna remained silent for a few seconds, before she sighed, deeply and out of her heart, stood up and kissed the corner of his lips that was not engaged with a tube, before she stood up and started to leave. „You'll call me when ANYTHING happens?“ she gave, passing by her mother in law. „I promise I will!“ Kelly answered.

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„...most significant thing is, they both seem to improve parallel in some strange kind of way. Like...we had positive results on both of them when we played music. And when we used electric impulses before, Sandra did show reactions instantly, Tyler a day later, but still in range of the time frame. I've never seen two patients evolving so simoultanly before. Still, given Mr. Josephs head injuries, I'd rank his chances somewhere between 10 and 20 percent.“ Closing his report Dr. Carson looked up, studying the man on the other side of his desk. Hendrik May was a special kind of appeareance. Met somewhere on the street people would think of him more as of a buglar then a doctor, still he had an aura of authority, a calm, positive one. Carson had felt a littlebit crossed over when he learned Jenna Joseph had called the specialist in traumata treatment in, but after they had exchanged a few words the younger doctor couldn't help but being fascinated. Dr. May had a calm voice, a warm tone in it, that made everyone feel good in an instant. „You did a good job with testing them both at the same time with the same methods. And I suggest you keep this up. I have done that a few times myself...and we had incredible results. There's a difference in how the patients are related to each other though. We found out, that those, who have any kind of connection, for example are relatives or have been brough into their state by the same event, do in fact increase in sync. It's like they'd been bound to each other.“ „Seriously?“ „Yes. We even had reports of people who, asked seperatly about the impressions they had while being comatous, told of the same optical and audible perceptions, which is pretty significant as coma is something everyone experiences differently, as far as the scientifical opinions were until now.“ Tapping his pen on his desk Carson was deeply in thought. „So...if one wakes up the other will too? Regardless to how the chances are?“ Giving him a clever smirk Dr. May shrugged. „If you ask me for my official beliefs...no. If you ask me for my personal ones'...definitly.“ 

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Waiting for the nurse to sum up her verspertime routine, Kelly leaned on the wall and sipped of her coffee. She had emtpied the cup by the time Shannon was done and crumbled it to a ball, throwing it across the room, where it landed perfectly inside a trash bin. „Ha! Seen that? THAT's a triple, boy!“ the blonde woman threw at the unmoving figure of her son, before she strolled over and took place at his bed, observing his heart monitor and the movements of the ventilator for a moment, before she hesitantly reached her hand out to place it on her sons cheek. A shudder ran through her when their skins met, and Kelly fought hard to not retreat. It had been a while since Tyler had allowed her to touch him at all, quick, necessary hugs aside. Their relationship had always been one of respect for each other, but one that held a distant kind of love. Kelly couldn't even remember that he cuddled with her a lot as a kid, while he always searched physical closeness with his siblings. It gave the moment even more heaviness, when she gently stroked his face, a painfull smile striking her features. „You know, I think I never told you why I gave you this name.“ Ruffling his hair she wished to go back in time, when he was a kid still, not fighting death like this. „I know you asked me once, when you were about fifteen...you were so mad that it's meaning is „maker of tiles“. I remember how you called me out for choosing such a simple one, a „job description“ you said.“ Tracing his nose with her index finger and nudging the tip gently she sighed. „And as so often you underestimated me. Plus, you didn't do your research well. Tyler also means „maker of bricks“. And my wish for you was, that you'd be a human that forms people, like bricks, that brings them together to built something out of them. God has granted me that wish, we both know that, just look at all these kids following you, listening to every of your words.“ Leaning down towards him she got on. „I do pray hard, right now, every day, every minute since this happened to you, even harder then I have done back then, when you took that pills and wanted to leave. But I know god can only help you so much, can only set the seed of life inside of you, but you are the one who has to let it grow, just like you have done the last time.“ Studying him now from close, Kelly allowed herself to be a lovingly mother, not a collected, reserved one, and brought her lips to his cheek, kissed it before she whispered in his ear. „Tyler...I need you to wake up again.“

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More carrying then walking the violently shuddering drummer between them Mark and Brad reached Joshs room, but left it as quick as they had come to switch to the videographers one, when they realised the mess he had made. Once with a bed in range they made him ly down and tugged him in, before both of them headed off to different tasks, Brad filling a warming bottle and Mark searching for Joshs meds and calling a roommaid. The photographer was the first to be back with the drummer again and slipped the warming bottle under the sheets, watched for a seconds how the younger still was shaken by coldness and then gave an „Ah...fuck it!“ before he crwaled behind the drummer and pulled him close, trying to warm him up by rubbing his arms under the blanket. Mark rose an eyebrow at that as he came back, but noted this action to add to the list of Brads rare real human interactions, while he popped a few painkillers himself and then sat down beside the two. Streaking Joshs wet hair out of his face the videographer payed heet to sounding soft, not wanting to stress his friend more. „Buddy...have you taken your anxiety pills?“ With the way the drummer trembled it was hard to tell if he had shaken his head or not, so Mark tried another time. „Joshua! Focus on me, ok? You're good, you're safe! Brad and I am here and we won't let anything happen. Breath with me for a moment, ok?“ Gently Mark grabbed the youngers hand and placed it on his chest, right above his heart, hoping the deep, slow breaths he took would help to calm the other down. The three of them stayed like this for a while, Brad stopping his movements but still hugging Josh thight. Only after a few minutes, when the drummer took some shaky breaths and drew back his hand, curling up in himself, the other two dared to move. Brad sat up an watched the younger carefully, as he opened his eyes, tears instantly falling from them an pooling at his chest. Mark took Joshs hand again and placed some pills in it, knowing the drummers dose by heart, as he had often enough needed to give him his meds when Josh was beyond the point of getting them himself. Raising them to his mouth he swallowed them dry whincing on the slight pain in his throat, waiting for the chemical calm feeling to set in. Once his heartbeat slowed down and the knot in his lungs seemed to vanish Josh aspirated „Sorry....I'm so sorry!“ into the silence around him. 

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He couldn't remember ever having felt so cold, as when the freeze woke him up. Finding that the girl was still fast asleep, pressed up close to him he pulled her even closer to shield her from the strange change of temperature. Again he wished he'd be able to see, but the night was not over yet, and soon he felt something wet falling on them, his bare arms and face, small stings of cold, like snowflakes. The men realised they needed to get up, to get going, they couldn't ly down and sleep for to long. Once they did, the world around them grew cold, a thought that occured reversed to him in some way. Rolling onto his back, dragging her body with him he expected to stare in the darkness like this for what would feel like an eternity, but a glimmer high up above them made him flinch. Still the cold rained down on them, but there was something else, wavering slowly down towards him, a golden shine, or, as he learned as more it neared him, five. They sunk down until they were only an armlength away from him and lingered, levitating, the warm glow lightning up the darkness around them. He furrowed his brow, traced the shape of the lights, his brain trying hard to tell him that he could read, and slowly he was able to find the letters, adding them to a word by turning them over and over until they made a sense, built a name. Lips moving silently he rolled it off his tongue, on repeat, wanting to connect it to someone, but he couldn't come up with a face to it. Beside him the girl steered, and woke up, a sudden, raspy noise disturbing her sleep. She was so tired, so deadly tired, but she felt like it was important to listen, and so she opened her slids, closed them and opened them again when she was blinded, finding the letters over them. The girl didn't have time to think about, as she found what had woken her, the whisper close to her ear, nearly non audible, but still there. In the soft glow of the lights above them she saw his lips move, heared his voice for the first time, filling her heart with a joy that nearly overwhelmed her. „Tyler.“ he gave, and repeated all over, still not knowing who he called by name. Lifting her hand she got his attention, as she let he fingertips run down his nose, he turned his head and smiled at her, mirroring her features. „That's you!“ she told him, shaking of anticipation, of the possibility to finally talk to someone, hear a voice, get some answers. The man cocked his head and she laughed, shaking hers lightly. „Oh you silly boy...Tyler...that's you...it's your name...you told me. I don't know when and where...but you told me...“ 

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„...and ran right into the door.“ half coughing, half telling Jill ended another childhoodstory, whisking a tear out of her eye. Jenna beamed at her and chuckled lightly, realising how much she had missed this. Over the past two years her life had been the road, her husbands music, and most of all, himself. Somewhere between the continents she had lost track of some of her friends, and it had been the cause for her to take a break and fly back home. She had been so happy to see her family again, her homegirls, plus it took out some tension off the constant grind they were in, sometimes not even leaving enough time for her and Tyler to be a couple. Jenna had fully known what she was in for when she decided to marry him, but that didn't mean she couldn't be tired of it sometimes. Tyler was weary sometimes himself. Well knowing she would have thought about him all night, if she didn't found a distraction, Jenna had asked Jill to tell her about Sandra, and had enjoyed the youngers story a lot. They grew up together, in a loving family, raised by strickt, but caring parents, lived a perfect live. Still the blonde felt there was something that Jill didn't tell, and she didn't asked. She had learned over the years to not press people, especially not the ones that followed her husband by heart. Taking a sip from her wine Jenna tried to take her mind off that thought, yearning for a good nights sleep. The girl beside her went silent though, starring at the air for a while, a slight smile playing her lips, that faded, thinking of how her sister was right now. Not wanting to ruin the mood Jill tried to get herself occupied, got more serious on the way. „May..Can I ask you something?“ Biting her lip nodding, knowing that a heavy question was about to come, Jenna exhaled eased as a less dangerous one was asked. „What did you think of Tyler when you first met him?“ 

Closing her eyes for a second Jenna grinned on the picture of her overnervous, awkward husband on their first date. It was a set up thingy, her brother in law wanting her to meet someone „remarkable“, he exclaimed. She had expected a lot, but she for sure had not expected Tyler Joseph. He did great for the first like fifteen minutes, then tripped nearly over his own feet and stuttered his way along, before he ran his hands down his face, sighed and told her blushing that he was sorry, „but you're so beautiful, I can't think a single thought straigth.“ It wasn't even spoken like a pick up line and it wasn't one, she felt that he was dead honest, and he had ever been from that day on. Tyler's love was simple, without any sideways, glow ups, overtoned coloures. He loved her straight from his soul, his heart and his body and Jenna felt like she had found her purpose in being his wife. Realising she had spoken all that thoughts loud out she released another deep breath and closed her eyes, sinking deeper into the cusions. Holding out her glas to the younger without looking, well knowing Jill would get the message, she felt the girl take it. Silence passed between them while they became comfortably sleepy, before they both were on the edge of their perception. Jenna was already half out when Jill asked again, and this time hit her to her core. „Do you think they will survive? I mean...what did the doctors tell you about him?“ Feeling weightless Jenna sipped air, on the brink of a dream. „They were too honest...I do pray that he makes it. I know he's strong. But with every day I ask myself...what when he DOES wake up? What will be left of him?“


	10. Chapter 10

Dr. May hadn't been all too surprised to find both families at the meeting he had called in for Sandra. He initially had been asked here for the older patient, but his wife had made clear that she wanted him to do his best for the girl too, even if her husband was beyond a point of being saved. Smiling fondly at the way the blonde and the girls sister held hands, their knuckles white of the force they gripped on to each other, the doctor started. „Dr. Carson filled me in on his forgone treatment and I'd like to assure you that he did a great job. There is improvement in both of their cases, although I need to tell you that Sandras reactions were a lot clearer then Mr. Josephs...“ „Tyler.“ Jenna interrupted him harshly, blushing and looking to the floor right after. „I'm sorry...I'm just so sick of hearing people handling him like a stranger.“ Aknowledging that request with a nod May got on. „Tyler had skull fructure. Parts of his brain were under pressure for a small amount of time, that might be the cause why he reacts a lot slower and not as intensive as her. We've decided to keep up the electric stimulations on him, but at this point I'd like to split their regimens a bit. I'd like to try to give Sandra a special infusion. It's a mixture of Adrenalin and a few other activating chemicals, I'll give you the list later. I got to inform you that this is no broadly accepted treatment, though. Basically, the infusion will flood her system and send her into kind of an overload. This way, we'll try to give her an impulse to wake up. You could compare it to a defibrillator. But for the brain.“ Recognising the question on Kelly Josephs face before she could voice it Dr. May continued his Monologue, a steady soothing voice allowing his oponents to grasp the informations well. 

„We will try this method on Tyler, but we will wait out for a bit. He's not there yet. Right now, I'd rank his chance by 20% though. He's a healthy young man aside of what happened, and thanks to his friends and the perfect rescue chain he wasn't out of oxygen for too long, which is good. Still I don't think we could get him to the surface yet, his brain still needs the rest to heal physically.“ Leaning back the doctor crossed his arms and looked into the families faces, one by one, from the parents to the wife to the sister, his tone changing and getting even more serious now. „Aside from this medical treatment, I ask you to keep up your good work. I've heared you already tried to trigger the both of them by playing music and talking to them. Keep that up, you can even increase on it. Bring people in, close ones, play them films. Read to them. I've talked to a lot of patients that had been comatous for a while when I did my study, and all of them could relate to having experienced some kind of visions that were linked to the things people around them did. I'm persuaded that Tyler and Sandra are still in there. And it's our mutual task to guide them home.“

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Waking up with an arm slumbed around his torso Mark was a bit confused first, shot up with an „Dude, what?“ a second later. Rolling grunting to his back Brad opened his eyes, and looked up at him, equally irritated, but soon realising what had happened. After they had put Josh to bed they had ended up in the only clean flat surface, that nearly reassambled a bed and had tried to make things work with the small space they had. A grin forming behind his beard Brad blew the other a kiss and a humourous „Good morning, beautiful!“ „NOT funny, man!“ Mark hissed, „I though I woke up with a bear!“ Scratching his impressive facial hair Brad clicked his tongue. „That whooly, hm?“ „No, you stink!“ A knock on the door ended their banter, ripped them back into reality somehow. Giving each other a glance they found none of them expected someone, so Mark shrugged and went for the door. The minute he opened it he was hit with a small female body, wrapping itself around him and hugging him close, a squeek falling from her lips. Blinking over her shoulder the videographers mouth fell open, as he realised the few other people standing outside. „Holy Shit!“ he exclaimed, an unintentional answer to Brads „Who is it!“ that was soon answered with „The squad!“ as Michael stepped through the door and passed Mark, who was still tangled in an Abby-Octupus, by with a friendly „We talk later.“ Jordan added himself to the family hug, while Zack just stormed in and went for the bathroom, something nobody dared to question at that point. „I can't believe you're all here!“ Mark finally gave, hating himself for being emo enough to cry, but were only crushed into the hugs harder. „Of course we are! Did you think we let him go so easy?“ 

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The lights followed them, although their shape and number had changed. Once they started to walk one of them dimed down and died, exploding, leaving them with four that now looked like lightbulbs, and after a while another had gone out. The remaining three shone golden, but were not strong enough to give them more then a ring of a few feet of light, just adequate for them to see where they set their feet. Since Tyler had found his name again, he seemed to improve on the speaking too. The girl didn't press him though, as he still found it easier to sign, words hurting his throat and leaving him tired after a while. They strolled along, side by side, with no hurry, hands clutched thight, none of them wanting to confess how afraid they still were in the dark. Not wanting to stand the silence the girl broke it again after a few minutes. „So...you're really sure we're taking the right way, yeah?“ Giving her a sassy sideglance he didn't even bothered to answer that and she grinned, shaking her head a bit. „I know we're going in the right direction, I'm not THAT bad with navigating, ok? I meant, if you're really sure we should go up that mountains?“ Stopping he looked at her fully now, cocking his head, the sign for her to spill. „It's like...we don't know what's waiting up there, don't we? And...and I'm not sure if we will find home up there...if we will find home at all. I...I don't like wandering this dessert. But...it's familiar now, isn't it? We improve. We have light. We have your name, and maybe we can find mine. I don't mind being here...as long as you're there too.“ She could tell his thoughts where racing just by the way he furrowed his brow, and expected him to hectically sign, but instead the concentrated, took air, room, time to overcome the strain of speaking. „We need to get there. I can't tell you why, but I feel it.“ Gulping hard he took another deep breath, his voice sounding a little steadier with every try. „I know you are tired, I am too. And this is fucking weired...I'm...I'm not even sure if I have not just gone insane and you're a product of my sick mind...but somehow I know it is not like this! We're...we're stuck here for a reason, we were kind of brought here somehow, and we need to get back. Where ever that back might be...“

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Sandwiched between his siblings, fed with pancakes from one side and lured into a game of Mario Cart from the other Josh looked nearly normal again. Jordan and Abby had lost no time to drag their brother out of bed and engulf him with their love, leaving him crying for the first hour, feeling way better for the second. They had learned that Ashley and Jay had to stay behind due to their finals, and Maddy had vowed to take care of them, a sign how well the families worked together, how one they had become with each other over the years. Taking a sip from his coke Mark watched the drummer even laughing out on a joke his younger brother did, when he felt a hand on his shoulder and Michael slipped into the bar-seat beside him. „I've heared what you've done. You're a real life hero, buddy!“ Pressing his lips to a thin line Mark shook his head. „Man, you've done it yourself back then.“ „That's right...but it wasn't nearly as close of a call then it was now.“ Huffing the younger took another sip, while Michael sighed. „I'm sorry I wasn't there. I know I couldn't have changed anything but...I just wish I was with you.“ „You are here now. It means a lot.“ Pressing the empty can together in his good fist Mark grunted. „Damn, Mike...be glad you weren't there...it's...I don't think I'll get the picture out of my head ever. Tyler...I thought I reanimated a corpse...I...I thought he was dead the minute I saw him...I mean...how can someone live that through? He was smashed! Folded...and there was so much blood on his face...“ whincing in a breath Mark realised he was about to talk himself into a flashback, but Michael didn't let it happen, he pulled him into a hug and didn't let go. „It doesn't matter why...the only thing matters is that he IS still there. And as far as I know our little devil he'll make the hell of a comback out of this one.“ 

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The intensive care wing had gone silent. Jenna had learned that two of the four patients had died, an old man because his family decided to pull the plug, a middle aged woman because her heart just stopped beating. Sandra had been brought into a surgery where she would be given her treatmeant, and Kelly and Chris had gone to see Zack, who had arrived with some friends in the morning. With the staff of the wing being limited to a minimum now, there was not much opportunity for human interaction, and tired of speaking to Tylers silent face Jenna had tried to go to sleep. It was surpsingly easy to fall into a dream, and weired to no end, as she realised right away that a memory played in her head, that she was out as a light and only her underconsioucnes kept working. Finding herself in a room full of candles she shivered on the electrifying feeling of lips on her neck, slowly tracing to the shell of her ear, breathing more then whispering. „Are you scared?“ he asked, his voice so much lower then usual, his speech flawless despite the glasses he had drank. Jenna trembled only more, leaning her head to the side so to grant him better access, feeling him mouth down her neck, onto her bare shoulder while his hands slung around her, keeping her safe. „A littlbit maybe...“ she answered, knowing there was no need to lie. Being spunned around she looked up at him through her deep blue eyes, finding him starring at her in awe, as if he just realised that, yes, she had married him a few hours before, and they were each others now, commited to it. Kissing her softly he drew back only a little, still kept their foreheads in touch while he locked their gazes together. „We don't need to do that. If you want me to just kiss you, or hold your hands or go to sleep, I'm perfectly fine.“ Warmth flooding through her system, leaving her cheeks tinted red, Jenna bit her lip, hoped it wouldn't sound cheap or needy as she replied: „Don't be silly, Ty...do you honestly think I've waited for this night all my life to just go to sleep? Step up your game boy, because tonight we're going to have some fun.“ A verbal answer never came but that wasn't necessary. The way he pulled her close and kissed her hard was perfectly fine with her. 

Jenna opened her eyes and the tears flowed instantly. It was like a rip in a movie, the cut of a scene, and it left her so empty, her imagination still fooling her with lingering touches, soft lips, when there was nothing then the rythmic blowing of the ventilator. Sitting up slowly she turned her head and watched him, how his chest fell and rose with the rythm of the machine, from minute to minute more mechanical then given by nature. Slipping out of her bed and tapping towards his with bare feet Jenna gently pushed the tubes aside, placed them new, so there was a little space for her to ly down. Curling up beside him like a cat she started to shake, as he was so cold, and her skin was too, no spark between them, no emotion passing. Crying herself to sleep Jenna tried to give him what he couldn't give her then...all of her love and hope and strength. 

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He had started to hum on the way, somewhen past sunrise. The blue light brought nothing all too new to them, only the mountains kept getting closer slowly, as they had made a few miles with their steady pace. Walking beside each other their shoulders sometimes brushed, their gazes were fixed into the distance though. The bulbs had faded the more day came up, and they were left with the same picture that had greated them when they had first left the train. Grey all around them, the clours of the rain faded. Stopping in his track to take a look around and stretch his arms above his head, letting his shoulderplates popp, Tyler turned and froze, squinting his eyes, studying the horizon. Something seemed a little not right there, but he couldn't name it, so he waited, trying to keep up with the babbling of the girl while he concentrated. „...guess about three days. Anyways, if we want to get up there I hope there's a path, I'm not really interested in climbing rocks!“ „We could find something to fly...“ he gave absently, not really knowing what he said, not even finding her answer as strange as it was. „Dummie, we're no birds! We're fligthless!“ Another movement on the brink of the sky made him even more alerted, and he strained his ears, looking out for more, finding another flash in the distance. Soon a very quiet crash reached his ear, but it was enough for him to identify what was coming up there. „Lightning!“ he informed her, pointing his arm out in the direction of it and she followed his lead with her eyes, watching for a few minutes. „That...is good, I think? I mean...last time...you said it ended when we were stroke and I could move afterwards...maybe we should wait it out?“ Gnawing on his lip he kept his eyes fixed on the bolts coming closer, finding another thing, a dark grey wall behind it. Feeling uncertainty turning into fear inside of him Tyler started to walk backwards slowly, grabbing the girls arm and dragging her with him too. 

„What the heck....?“ „I'm not sure...but...I think...that's more then lightning...that's a storm...that's...sand?“ Looking at him like he was crazy the girl wanted to argue, but turned her head as a loud crash announced the lightning coming into their closer range. Her eyes widened when she saw the wall rushing towards them, looking menacing, swallowing everything inside. Feeling herself being tugged backwards she nearly fell then but was gripped by strong arms that spun her around and pushed her foreward, while he yelled „RUN!“ at her. Bolting in the direction he had put her the girl went into full speed right away, hearing him close behind her, but not for long, as the howling of the wind kept getting louder and the crashes of the lightning started to surround them. She triped, and so did he, and they fell together, hitting the ground hard, both spinning around and gripping on to each other as the first bolt hit, the sandstorm now close enough to make the girls hair flutter up lightly. Tyler locked her close to him as hard as he could, but there was a pull on his perception, not allowing him to think, that ran down his strength, and lessened it by minute. Feeling her slip out of his arms as the storm overtook them he tried to grab her wirsts, but she didn't react to it, so he could only hold on to her for a few minutes before she slipped out of his numb fingers. Fighting against the storm he got up then and ran, tried to find her in the whirls of grey sand, that seemed to avoid him, not pulling on his clothes but dancing around. The howl got louder and louder and he fell to his knees, pressing his hands on his ears, feeling his skull crack under the pressure. Blood running down his fingers he curled up on himself and screamed.

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Arching up from the stretcher the Sandra did a gagging breath, feeling like she swallowed the tube and instantly paniced, hyperventilated, while one after another chemical struck her brain. „Fuck!“ Dr. Carson hissed as she fell back with her eyes turned into the back of her head, only the white visible, and her heart monitor went into a steady tone right away. „Defibrillator!“ he bellowed behind him, starting to press her heart right away, Dr. May rushing to his side and abstracting the tubus, placing a breathing bag and mask on the girl and starting to venitalte her by hand. Sticking the diods to her bare chest Carson tried to get his trembling hands under controll and stepped back, telling the others a „Carefull! Shot in 3 secs!“ The full team raised their hands from their patient when the machine gave a warning tone, then send an electric jolt through the girls heart, that made the heart monitor scream. „Nothing! Another one!“ May ordered, and they repeated, three times, before her heart started beating again, Carson, turning around and kicking a trash bin through the surgery. Dr. May watched him silently, still gently blowing air into the girls lungs, but only a little, as he had realised she was breathing, shallow, nearly non remarkable, but still. He waited out for the younger doctors anger to pass before he adressed him. „Ken...I know that hasn't quite went as we planned...but...she's alive. And she's breathing!“ Starring at him in disbelieve Dr. Carson came closer, motioned him to remove the mask and checked up on her, surprised to find movement in her chest. 

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Sitting on her laptop in the hotelroom Jill tried to kill the time until she'd hear from her parents. They had suggested she took another day off the hospital, not wanting to strain their daughter further then necessary, not wanting her to fall back into a mood she had to overcome a few years ago. Sydney and Clay didn't talk about it too much, as Jill didn't, but there had been times when their perfect life had become cracks. Sandra had been too young to understand why her mother was up all night crying when her sister didn't come home, why her dad drove out to search for her, why they yelled at the older girl, while she puked her heart out in the bathroom. It had been harsh years, but in the end they had found a way together, and Jill was glad her parents had never given up on her. Shaking the ghosts of the past out of her mind the girl opened social media, for the first time since the accident, and was imedialty overwhelmed with the number of messages she had gotten. There were a lot of her friends, and Sandras, closer and wider family, but, what surprised her most, a lot of strangers too. Quickly she found out it were other fans, who had heared her sisters story, that was long known by the media now. Clicking on a few of them Jill frowned, finding desperate messages, people pleading her to tell them if Tyler was alive, if he was still hanging on. There were a few telling her about how desperate they were, that they thought about ending their life, and her heart ached for them. Setting her fingers on the keyboard Jill started to write them back, one by one. It took her all night to go through the half of them, still, when she finally shut the laptop and set it aside, lying down to give in to her exhaution, she felt a lot better. She had done a last post though, and while she slept it traveled the world.

Where there's love, there's hope  
Where there's hope, there's life  
Where there's life, the love never ends

Keep Tyler and my sister in your prayers  
Send them all the love you can


	11. Chapter 11

The air was crisp and clear, opening her nostrils and lungs, leaving her breathing freely, still she stayed on the ground for a while, waiting for the voices to pass. They were strange, an alien outside force, running through her head, hectic, chopped sentences. She felt like being called a few times, her name reassambling her current sourroundings. There were a bunch of them, two dominant now, talking about how she was stable, how they wanted to move her somewhere. Aftershocks still ran through her body, and Sandra tried to controll them, tried to supervise herself again. The voices began to fade, still she got a little more from them, a feeling, a hint that she took and wrapped in her mind so she could not loose it. The quiter they went the more she was able to take in where she was, finding herself on a plattform, a little above the grey dessert, on the foot of the mountains Tyler and her had tried to approach. By the thought of the mans name she shot up, suddenly reminded of what had happened. The storm had ripped them appart, gripping her in his fist and twisting her around. Sandra had felt like under water, being tossed by the waves, but right now she wondered if it had been another improve, as she felt clearer and all together lighter somehow. What clouded her mood though was that he wasn't near her as she sat up, and nowhere to be seen all around. Crawling to the edge of the plattform on her hands and knees the girl looked out into the open, from where she assumed she had came, eying the wide streched grey dessert. It seemed endless, although there was rip in it, like a canyon, dark and deep he cut through the landscape, deviding it into parts.

Turning around Sandra looked up the gradient behind her, realising she was closer to the sun, warmed by the blue light. Something pulled on her insides, gravitated her towards the summit, but the girl didn't give in the urge to climb. Tyler was still on her mind and she couldn't abandon him, she couldn't move on without knowing what had happened to him. Sensing slowly what and where they were, Sandra did a decission. She was determined to find him, although she felt sick, when she started to climb down, away from the warmth, sinking deeper and deeper into the dessert of their minds again. 

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Brad had resigned to see Tyler on behalf of Michael, and Zack hadn't been ready to go anyway, so Mark happened to be the one to accompony one of the singers oldest friends in learning how bad he really was. Walking patiently through the hospitals routine the both of them didn't speak too much, also not when walking down the hallway. Mark waved at Mrs. Banks, that smiled a lot more today. They had talked it out, Clay apologizing for what he had said, and of course Mark forgave him. He could understand that the father had been in pain, and the venom he had spit hadn't been meant by heart. The news that Sandra had started to breathe on their own where appreciated by anyone, it was a straw of hope, even if the doctors weren't all too excited about Tylers results. Opening the door for Michael the videographer picked his equiment up and let the older pass, retreated to a desk to give him some space for the face to face encounter with their lifeless friend. Slowly walking over Michael leaned down and kissed the singers temple, sighing „Oh babyboy!“ before he sat down, folded his hands and prayed, and Mark was so striken by the gesture that he took a pic. He knew that Tyler and his former security knew each other since kindergarden, where practically brothers, and he hoped instantly that their bond might help their friend a little. Firing up his Laptop Mark searched for something to play to him this time, thinking of something neutral, maybe instrumental, as hearing Tylers voice over and over again hurted too much. Coming across a link he clicked on it, the video starting with a camera focused on a pianos keys, a girls hands appearing and starting to play. Of course it was his own music that the clique used to tell him to stay alive for them. It were so many faces, so many smiles, so many tears, emotions that flooded out of the speakers and into the room and took ahold of them, leaving Mark and Michael in awe about how close to their soul Tyler had touched his fans.

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„I say pull the plug!“ „Zack! Hold your tongue!“ Throwing his arms out to the side the singers brother faced his mum, both of them already on the edge. „No, mum, I'm not shutting up on this! See...“ letting his arms fall he released a bit of the tension, tired of fighting and the jetlag that still lingered in his brain, „do you really think I'd WANT him dead? Mum...you know exactly how important Tyler is to me, but that's the fucking point! He didn't make that testament out of no reason, he didn't wanted to be kept alive if chances are low! It's his LAST WILL mum! And you and Jenna just overrule him?“ Snorting Kelly placed her hands on her hips. „Dr. May says chances are 20...“ „Oh come on! 15 percent, 20, it doesn't fucking matter! Even IF he wakes up...he'll never be the same again! Have you thought about what this might have done to his body? To his mind? What if he has lost his music? What if he doesn't remember who he is? Do you have any clue how long it takes to recover from that kind of status, mum?“ Her breath hitching his mother gaped at Zack, who cursed wholeheartly and turned away, not wanting her to see his tears. „We both know how this will end if we keep him alive like that! With every single day he's getting weeker, with every single minute recovering get's more and more hard. By now I doubt Tyler will ever be able to go on stage, let alone to tour again. We even have to maybe accept he'll be a nursing case for all of his fucking life. And I promise you, if that happens, Ty will take the first chance he get's to end that himself.“ 

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Ashley had instinted on Jenna meeting them in the apartment, and the blonde had given in, although she and Josh still had avoided each other. With the drummers siblings around the mood seemed lightened though. She found herself being pulled close by her husbands best friend as a welcome, and they held on to each other until he whinced and apologized that he had to sit down. „Your rips still?“ Jenna asked rubing his coloured forearm gently. „Everything.“ Josh gave back with a pained smile. Letting themselves be drowned in the chatter around them they remained silent then for a while, enjoying how effortless the drummers siblings and Brad joked with each other. Feeling a coarseness in her throat Jenna leaned back and wanted to scratch her itching nose, a sneeze leaving her so violently she shook. „Bless you!“ Josh wished her, grabbing a tissue from the desk beside of him, worried eyeing as she took it and blew. Of course she didn't look all too good, her features sunken in, her eyes circled by dark, but what really concerned him was the highly rosy cheeks and the glace over her eyes. Stretching out his hand and placing his palm on her front he hissed when he realised how hot she was. „Jen...you're getting sick!“ Pulling back the blonde was obviously shaken by the thought, but denied. „No...I'm just tired! It's ok, Joshua, I'll just go to the hotel and sleep a bit and then I'll go back to him.“ Wanting to stand up Jenna felt dizzy and sat down again, gentle hands guiding her until her head rested on his chest, Joshs arm locked around her. „Easy there, girl! Jenna...you need to see a doctor! It's not only for you...Tyler can't have you around like this...his immune system is shut down.“

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Standing on the edge of the abyss Tyler starred into the dark. The storm had gone as fast as it had come, his pain had lasted way longer. It was still in his bones, held a grip on his mind, turning him all ways, as he had got up from the ground where the wind had blowed him back and forth. Stumbling blindly through the sand he had dragged himself further though. All he knew was he needed to keep going, to not stay in the sand. Even if the mountains would not lead him home, they'd grant some kind of a shelter. The blue sun had come back, and it had seemed to grow, sending it's rays deeper into his skin now, tanning him up, warm, humid air surrounding him. Tyler had traveled so far, only to get to this point, and for the first time he honestly asked himself if it had been to a good avail. Maybe he should have stayed in the train. Maybe it would have led him somewhere better. Right now, the only option seemed to turn and walk back, trying to find the railtrack. Before him lay a deep crack in the earth, swallowing every light, broad enough to not even leave a chance of jumping over it. Kicking a stone into the sheer he waited for it to hit the ground, but never heared that ending. He was tired, and the warmth started to wear him down, so Tyler sat down at the edge for a moment, his feet tangling into the darkness, and he starred out over the crack, to the other side. Jumping up a few seconds later, giving a terrified yelp, he looked down in disbelieve, as something touched one of his feet, finding a hand, an arm, stretched out of the gloom, but no person visible. „What the....?“ he started, and his breath hitched, when there was another one, and another, one hand after the other, some of them painted, reassambling the sign the colours had painted into the sand. Soon they were a silent sea of hands, anticipating, slightly moving, like in a slow breeze, building a make shift bridge to the other side. 

His heart pounded against his chest, his mind spinned. Tyler felt like finally taken to the point of breaking, loosing his mind, loosing controll. All he wanted was to lay down into the sand and sleep, sleep forever, his overheated system bringing him to his knees, still he couldn't take his eyes of the hands in front of him. They seemed to call him, wavered towards him, and mesmerized he followed, stretching out his to meet the first of them. As soon as warm fingers locked around his wrist, matching the three thin lines on it, he felt being pulled foreward gently, his second hand finding a hold, soon his knees, and he moved foreward, pushed high above the dark, towards the other side. It was a fluid movement, the hands not static, but stabeling him, if one gave in another took over and he didn't feel fear of falling into the dark beyond him for a single second. Whoever they were...they kept him safe, and fixing his eyes to the other side Tyler decided to hang on just a little longer.

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„...don't understand why she regressed. She's good, physically. We tried to give her some more activating infusions, but her results fall off in quality.“ Pacing his office Ken Carson thought hard while Dr. May just smiled at him. „It's like...like she doesn't want to wake up!“ „Maybe it's exactly that. Remember what I told you about patients being linked in some kind of way. Tyler isn't improving as fast as her...maybe she's waiting up on him.“ Running his hands through his hair Dr. Carson shook his head. It had been long weeks now, and this case left him drained. He hadn't seen his wife since three days as they both worked shifts, and his daughter was throwing tantrums still everytime they met up. Not being in the mood for more problems he was pretty bitching as Shannon opened his office door after knock, excusing for the disruption. „What he hell is it now?“ Carson barked, regretting it the moment he said it, as he saw her face fell. She was a good nurse, one of the best on his team and she didn't deserve his anger. „I'm sorry. You know how it is, Shan. So..what do you need?“ „It's Tyler.“ the nurse informed him, a smile of forgiveness on her lips, „he's grown a fever.“

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Trying to calm the woman down the young nurse looked nervously for her boss. „Please, Mrs. Joseph, I can't tell you why, but you can't see your son right now. Dr. Carson will be here shortly and explain...“ „Deanna!“ the older nurse, coming from the doctors office, set in, telling the other to help the doctor while she rushed over to a worried Kelly. „I'm sorry, she's right you can't see Tyler for now. We need to lock his environment down to a minimum of germs.“ „Shannon...“ the singers mother lost no time, but fixed the nurse with her gaze. The two of them had talked a lot after the past days and Kelly knew about her story, how she had lost her kid. It was an unspoken understanding passing between them, that made the nurse spill the harsh truth. „Appearently he catched some bug, his tempreture is rising dangerously high. Right now Tylers body doesn't defend him from getting ill, so we need to cool him down fast and exclude every outside influence that could attack his weak system further. Only staff will be allowed around him until he's stable again.“ 

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The apartments living room was crowded, or at least it felt like, as all of them came together. After her talk with the doctor Kelly had called Jenna and learned that she was down with the flu, so she directed Mark in getting everyone there, as she felt they should be all together when they learned. It was an earie silence, all of them in one room, Josh and Jenna in the middle somehow, backed up by the brothers, by the friends. Bill and Laura had come too, acomponying Chris on the couch, while Kelly sat down in an armchair, facing all of them. She closed her eyes for a second and inhaled deeply, but then looked at them, her gaze not wavering. „First of all I need you to know, that nobody could have prevented this, of that the doctor told me he's sure. Tylers body is so weak at this point, that the tiniest infection would cause problems, so there's noone to blame for something we couldn't change. The thing is, his temperature is rising. When I left the hospital, he were ranging around 104, and they say it's still increasing. To keep a long story short...If they don't manage to get his fever down, Tyler will die tonight.“ Heavy like stones her words fell on the floor, leaving a violent quiet after their crash. Jenna was the first to react, she shot up and ran for the door, out of the apartment, and down the stairs. Within a heartbeat Michael was after her, gestureing the others to stay there, slamming the door shut behind him before he chased her down the stairs.

Zack starred into the void, not moving, not saying anything, as his father did, while Laura had placed her hand over her mouth, shocked on the news. Her husband looked out of the window with strained features. Brad couldn't stand their silent reactions at one point anymore and cursed, left towards his room, towing Mark with him. Feeling all their eyes shifting off of her, whoever she looked at, Kelly was gratefull, oh so greatfull as one of them didn't retreat. Josh looked straight at her, determination in his gaze. They both thought the same thing, that they weren't ready to let Tyler go. And while everyone around them was unable to do so, as they drowned in their pain, Josh and Kelly started to pray.

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Placing an icepack on her patients temple Shannon nodded Dr. Carson a hello when he entered the room. Coming over he went for the machines, checked up on the settings, before he turned towards the young man, lying pale and deep in sleep on the bed. Like every comatous patient Tyler had lost weight, and he hadn't been exactly fat before. Now his cheekbones stood out too prominent for the doctors liking and the colour of the skin tht stretched above them spoke from the heat inside of his veins. „Do you want me to get him another infusion?“ Shannon asked, grabbing the small towels she had placed on the singers wrists, taking them over to a sink, and draining them in icecold water again. „Yeah, it can never hurt to have some liquid inside your circulation.“ Ken gave absently, tipping his lips with his fingers. „Add some antipyratic doses to it.“ Starring at Tylers unmoving lids Carson growled to himself. „Come on boy...you can do better then that!“

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Slowly leaving the shadow that the mountain painted into the sand the girl strained her shoulders and tried to pace on more confident. Coming down here let her feel like being in an adversed environment, and all her insides screamed at her to turn around, still Sandra didn't. She had decided to go at least to the edge of the canyon, and if she wouldn't have found him there, she would have turned. To be honest, she didn't dare to hope he was still alive, that she could save him, and the more she was shattered, when she found him, at the brink of her perception, just slightly past the dark, down on his face, arms stretched to the side. Rushing over she didn't lost much words but kneeled down and turned him, relieved to find him opening his eyes and focus her, it took him aweful long, but in the end he smiled. „You...you are here..“ he croaked out and she sushed him, realising that he was too weak and couldn't spent energy on anything beside hanging on to live. Her hands shot back when she wanted to touch his face, heat radiating off him, and Sandra hissed, tried to make him stay awake at last. „Tyler...“ she adressed him, fining him turning his eye in the back of his head for a second, before he looked at her again, fading in and out. „Ty...listen...you need to get up...you need to come with me! I was there...I was at the foot of the mountain. We need to get you there...the air is cooler up there!“ Groaning he closed his eyes, his body wanting to go limp, but in her desperation Sandra wouldn't let him sleep. Shaking him until he looked at, nearly through her again she cursed. „Fuck, Tyler, I'm serious, get up now!“ His lips were so chapped they broke and started to bleed when he talked, outdragged pauses between his words. „So...tired...sleep...let me...sleep!“ „The fuck you are!“ Feeling death closing in on him Sandra acted, tried the impossible, grabbed his arm and pulled him up until he sat, swaying from one side to the other, nearly falling back a few times. 

„Jeez, boy, just work a little with me, will ya?“ she exclaimed as she got up and brought him too his feet with a final, adrenalin-driven tug. Tripping he was about to went to his knees again but the girl slipped under his arm, balanced his weigth, finding surprised that he was a lot lighter then she had suspected. Locking her hand on the one that she had dragged around her she slipped her other arm around his waist, linking them to a strange creature and starting to move them foreward, one step at a time. Sandra could tell the point when he started to try to help her, when his feet no longer were pulled through the sand but he set it, an agonizing slow pace. His head hang low though, and she felt him falter in between, sinking into himself and resting for a few seconds. Eyeing the distance to the mountains worringly Sandra looked behind to relate how far they had come, and was not the slightest surprised that the canyon had vanished, the earth had healed again, not even a scar in the flawless blanket of sand. It was the sky behind them that now had changed, and seemed to be out to get them. Blue fire flickering, turning the sand beyond it into glas, into a flat, cold surface, restricting it's move in the wind. Tyler still radiated heat, the ground to his feet melting and Sandra gripped him closer while she tried to speed up.


	12. Chapter 12

Stepping closer to his wife Clay placed his hand on her shoulder and smiled down at her as she flinched. Sydney had been deep in thought, he could tell by the lines on her front, but she looked better then he had seen her in weeks. Leaning down and placing a soft kiss on her lips he grabbed a chair and tugged it towards them, sitting down beside her and taking her hand. Both of their gazes shifted to their kid on the bed, peacefully breathing, still assisted with an oxygen mask, but no longer being forcefull held alive by just mechanics. „She stirred in her sleep today.“ Sydney told him, smiling at her kid, squeezing his hand. „That's incredible! Don't forget what Dr. Carson said though...her body is waking up, that doesn't indicate her mind will too. We need to be patient, Sydney.“ „I know!“ she snapped, a little too harsh, then sighed and leaned into the arm he offered her. Adding an „I know.“ softer now Mrs. Banks got on. „I talked to Dr. May earlier. He has some interesting theories, you know?“ Glad that they could still work around their anger Clay nodded and motioned her to get on. „He...I don't know, it sounds weired but...he thinks that maybe Sandra isn't waking up because she's waiting on Tyler to do so too somehow.“ Closing his eyes for a second Clay Banks swallowed. „Sydney...with all due respect to Dr. May and what he has done for Sandy...I don't think he's right. I get that maybe, and just maybe, relatives that fall into a state like that together might have the feeling they would have been connected, and that is not more then a reaction of some chemicals in their brains. So even IF people can feel like they are somewhere together...why the hell should they?“ „But...“ Not letting her end Mr. Banks got up. „I regret what I said about Tyler, I can see that he's a nice guy, a good son, but I still don't get why I should spent any thought on how he improves! This is my KID lying here, Sydney! I don't want Kelly and Chris to go through this, but if he'd really be the one who holds her back from waking up, I still wish he'd be dead already.“

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Ripping the front door open Jenna was about to bolt out of the building, when two strong arms grabbed her and pulled her back, spinned her around and caged her with her back against the wall. Not having it she started to punch the attacker, who towered over her, hit his massive chest with her fists, cursing and crying and yelling. She tried to kick him into his guts, but he had a too protective stance, giving her enough space to work her energy out but not to actually hurt him. It went on for a minute before she started to get weak, her punches got slower, the tears taking her over, as she broke with a tremble and collapsed against him. Letting go Jenna was carried away by all her sadness colliding with the anger, her whole form wretched by her sobs, sounds that Michael wished he never would have to hear again, as they broke his heart. „Jen...shhhh...come on, babe...hey...try to breath, ok?“ he tried to soothe her, as he realised she panted only shallow, was about to hyperventilate. Gasping in air she looked at him, her vision blurry, croaking „I...it's my fault...he...he...“ but being silenced by the security shaking his head and picking her up bridal style, starting to climb the stairs back to the apartment. „That's nonsense, Jenna, and you know it!“ he spoke softly while her head fell into his neck, her face burried so she had not to see. „It's not yours to decide when his time has come. And I don't think it has. I'm nearly sure of it. I tell you, if Tyler should have died...he'd have been gone the minute he hit the ground.“ 

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Hearing him mumble beside her Sandra stopped to rearrange her grip on him and get his words better. „Speak...“ he gave, his voice cut raw, „Speak to me...it's too silent...“ Still Tyler could barely hold himself up, and the went awefully slowly, but the girls strong will had brought them a lot closer to the mountains. Only a few hundret feet more and they'd enter the shadow, of which she hoped would have an effect on him, cooling his system and palliating his pain. „You're doing well...we nearly got it...just a little further, Ty.“ She tried to built him up with a praise, deciding that maybe this was a good time to bring up what she had learned. He wasn't able to respond all too much but he seemed finally clear enough to listen, a good omen, she supposed. „I think I know what this is...I mean this world, all this strange things around us. I think you were right...this is not real.“ Not letting him stop Sandra pulled the singer forweward, feeling better and better with every step she brought between them and the blue fire that ate the sky. „The thing is...we are. And I think we're kind of trapped in our heads. I mean...I know this doesn't make sense, but when I was up there...I felt like...waking up to something. I heared people talk...they called me by my name...and they talked about you too.“ This time he resisted her try to just keep him going, and grabbed her forarms to make her turn and face him. „What is it?“ Tyler gave, a strange glimpse in his eyes, as if they were mirrors of the fire in the sky. „A kind of a dream...or maybe we'r unconcious in a way...there has...“ Increasing his grip on her arms he made her stop, look at him questioning. „Your name.“ the singer got on, “What is it?“ Understanding striking her features she smiled, touched by that he was interested in getting to know her more then in to learn where they were first. „Sandra.“ Pulling her into a hug Tyler tried to not lean too much on her, as she had already carried so much of him for so long. „I'm glad I met you, Sandy.“ he told her, and both of them smiled.

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„It should have been me.“ Sighing deeply and setting the plate she had just been drying aside, Kelly decided not to turn, but resume to her task of drying the dishes. Mark had pointed out two times that there was a machine for that, but she stubbornly refused to give up the repeating task, that kept her mind occupied and her hands busy. She wasn't surprised Josh came to her when everyone else was asleep, and he wasn't surprised to find her up that late either, so there was no point in playing any kind of charade. „You know that's not true.“ she answered, taking a pan, rubbing it's surface clean of water while turning it in her hand. A small silence, then steps, a chair dragged out from the desk. Kelly appreciated that Josh didn't run, like he had so often in the past, although she wished the two of them would not have to have this conversation. It was hard to tell him he was wrong, when somewhere deep inside of her a selfish part of her heart wished it was the other way around. Tossing the towel beside Kelly walked over and took place at the table too, finding the drummer with his face on his arms, defeated, tired, heartbroken. Reaching out her hand and carding the wild strands of coloured hair aside Kelly tried to heal what the tragedy had harmed, knowing she could never. This had been gone bad from the begining, and there was not much to say to make Josh feel otherwise, so she settled on letting him talk. “I was too proud. I should have just played that silly game with him one more time. I should have gotten up to get the drinks. He had done it an hour before, it would have been my turn.“ Tracing his temple with her fingertips Kelly swallowed the tears rising. „I've ruined his life. I mean...even if he wakes up...he'll never be...he'll hate me.“ A broken sobb accomponied what Josh added, still it were more the words then his crying that let Kelly stand up and pull her sons best friend in her arms. „Tyler will hate me so much. I should kill myself. It's what I deserve.“

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Turning another time Mark tried hard to find something like sleep, but again wasn't granted that wish, so he rolled to his back again, hearing a low growl beside him. „I swear if you don't stop tossing I kick you out of the bed!“ Brad let him know, rubbing his tired eyes. „Make sure to hit my head so I'm out.“ the videographer gave back sarcastically, still kind of pissed that the other had managed to fall asleep so easy. The answer was the bedlight being turned on and Brad sitting up beside him, looking down at him with a strangely soft expression. „Listen, Mark...I want to be honest. I'm...I don't think I've ever been so scarred in my life as I am right now. But...no matter what happens to Tyler tonight...Jenna, Kelly, Chris, Zack, his other siblings, Josh...the fans...they will need us, man! Michael did a good job with calming Jen down but he has to fly back tomorrow evening. He can't leave his business for so long. That leaves us two in charge. Believe me, there's nothing I'd like to do more then breake...but...we can't! You need to hang in there...I...I need you, ok?“ 

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„Incredible, isn't it?“ Shannon asked as she stepped beside Dr. Carson, and followed his line of sight. There had been a tweet, another one of the photographer of the band, he had told Tylers' fans to pray, pray as hard as they could, either to save the singer or escort his soul to heaven. The people had followed, Carson had learned, when he had scrolled the internet to get his mind off things for a bit. There were pictures of fans gathering all around the world to light candles and sit together in silence, hands folded, eyes closed. Having a hunch the doctor had went to his patients room then, took a look out the window. He found the exact same scene in the parking lot of the hospital, that was cramped with people now, a crowd of silent souls, trying to bundle their mental energy to acomplish what medicine hadn't been able to do. It was a hopefull quiet, and it took a hold of his heart too. Deciding that he really should listen to his daughters favourite singers lyrics by time the doctor sighed and turned, facing the nurse. „Any news?“ Smiling Shannon nodded her head. „Yeah. His fever's starting to lessen. It's still high, and I think we should add another infusion, but it's a start.“

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Sandra could tell that he ran out of strength, but still Tyler refused to let her carry him. Instead he stopped every few feet to catch his breath, grab her shoulder to stable himself a bit, but then walked on straightened up and with a determined look on his face. The singer had found that it got easier with every step he took, and once they had reached the shadows of the mountain the numbness of his brain had been blown away by a soft breeze. „How high where you up there?“ he asked, to abstract himself from the tiredness that still tried to pull him down to the ground. „Do you see that platform?“ Pointing out to the spot she had woken up to, Sandra took in the way she had climbed down, realising how cliffy it had been. „The stone is pretty solid. It was not too hard to climb down, but...it might be a little more straining to get up there again.“ Slowing down beside her Tyler sighed, taking a stop to inhale deeply. „Maybe you should go ahead.“ he gave, barely above a whisper. Grabbing his arm and pulling him along Sandra didn't even bother to answer that, she just gave an angry huff. Letting himself being dragged through the sand Tyler gnawed his lip, overthinking what he had just said, and finding that it was nothing then the truth. Bringing them to a halt again he used the little strength he had, and freed his arm from her in a nearly violent motion. „I'm serious! You shouldn't wait on me. I...I'll maybe not make it.“ Stemming her hands in her hips Sandra faced him, her flawless features striken by lines of anger. „Could you just shut up and stop to fucking slow us down?“ she gave, her voice trembling a bit, „Do you think I came back to get you just to let you give up now? Nope, boy, not happening!“ 

Sighing he sat down then, his head tilted to the ground, waiting for her monologue to end. „Get up! Stop being so whiney! Gosh YOU are the adult here, YOU should be the one telling me everything's going to be fine, not the other way around!“ That she got no answer made the girl only more furious, her eyes burning with tears now, as she bend and grabbed his arm, wanting to tugg him up. „I said Get. The. Fuck. Up!“ Being pulled down by him suddenly, with more force then she had given him credit for, Sandra came to sit crosslegged right in front of him, Tylers hands closed thigthly around her wrists. He did still not look at her, breathed silently, and his voice was drowned in a sadness that shattered her heart. „Yes, you're right, Sandy. I'M the adult here. And that's why I can see what you refuse to realise! It's not like I would want to stay here. But let's be grown up for just one moment, ok? I will not make it! This is too hard! I can barely walk, let alone climb up a fricking mountain!“ Tilting her head on the strange curse she listened, meeting his eyes as he looked up at her. „Sandra...you should go on alone. I'm not giving up, I promise you this much. But...if you are right...if this is kind of a...I don't know...coma or something...you can't wait for me! You need to get up there as fast as you can! You may have already made a mistake with coming back for me at all.“ Tyler hated to see the tears falling from her cheeks. He hadn't meant to make her cry, still he felt like it was better this way. Maybe she could hate him. Maybe she'd safe herself if she did instead of risking everything with staying with him. For the first time since they had met Sandra sounded like the child she was when she spoke, no cocky tone in her speech, no teenagelike cursing, just a little girl, thrown into a world she didn't understand. „I'm terrified! I...I have nothing but you! Don't you understand that? If I leave you behind and it doesn't work...I'll be alone...I...I don't want to be alone! Back then, in the train...if you wouldn't have found me...I would have gone insane!“ Her shoulders slumbing foreward the girl seemed even more little now, fragile and breakable, and Tyler couldn't do other then pull her close, let her cry, find the security she longed so much for in his arms. „I miss mum! I miss her so hard! What...what if I never see her again? And my sister? And my dad! I remember them, Ty! I remember my family! I'm so afraid!“ 

Trying to sush her softly he rubbed her back, whispering sweet nothings to her until she calmed down, her head falling on his shoulder, resting there, tiredness overtaking both of them. „I'm sorry!“ Tyler stated quietly, when he felt her muscles relax a bit, „I'm so sorry. You're right. I...I should stay with you. You can't be left alone around here.“ Clinging on to each other they watched the blue sun reaching the edge of the horizon, slowly sinking past it, taking the fire with it and making space for the pitch black night to take over the land. „I promise you I'll try to stay with you as long as I can.“ the singer got on, deciding that they would rest now, as they had come such a long way from when she had found him at the abyss. „We'll sleep for now. And tomorrow we'll try to get up there. But I want you to promise me something too.“ Hot tears hitting his neck he realised she already knew what he was going to say. „If I can't go on anymore...you will climb without me.“

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Waking up crying like she had done so often in the past days Jenna stayed still for a moment, trying to take in her surroundings. She vaguely remembered having stormed out the appartment, being brought back there by someone, but she couldn't really grab the thought. Shifting a bit and pushing the blanket, that was wrapped around her, aside she sighed contently on the cold air hitting her heated skin. A scratch in her throat made her realise how dry it was, and how thirst took her over, but it was so dark around, and she couldn't see a thing. Letting her hand wander around the blonde tried to find the edge of the bed, the nightstand with the lamp on it, but froze, when her fingers didn't glide over soft sheets but through warm sand. Rolling to her other side she repeated the motion there, with the same outcome, panic slightly rising inside of her. „Hello?“ she whispered, uncertain, feeling like her voice got lost in the open, not being reflected by walls. „Hello!“ she added a little louder, definitly hearing the words roll away from her then, while her hands started to hectically search for something familiar. It was so dark...too dark for a normal night. She could remember there had been lights outside the window, that had tinted the bed in the colours of the curtains. Now there was nothing, she even rose her fingers to her lids to make sure they were open at all. Fear overtaking her Jenna started to crawl, until she reached a wall, a hard, cold one, irregular in it's structure. Leaning her back against it the blonde pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, crying and cold, trapped in a world she didn't knew, where her only companion seemed to be her fear. 

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Taking the washcloth from the younger womans front Laura handed it to Michael and lifted the covers off of Tylers wife a bit. „Could you please renew that? She's still so hot. We need to get her temperature down or we'll have to take her to the hospital to get some stronger meds.“ „Maybe we should right away. I mean...we can take care of her here too...but this appartment is already too full with people and I think Chris and Kelly have enough to worry about right now. We shouldn't add Jennas nursing to that.“ Placing her hand on the womans head Joshs mother shrugged. „We can take care of her.“ „I have to go home tomorrow.“ Michaels voice implied kind of a guilt, and Laura totally did get that. All of them felt guilty in a way, for not being able to help, for not knowing an answer to the question how they could make Tyler come back to them again. Being his mother Laura could still only imagine what a burden Josh did feel right now. He had always assigned himself to keep Tyler safe, from the moment they met, from the day he had dragged his friend to the toilet and made him puke all that pills out by shoving his fingers down Tylers throat, although the younger had tried to fight him. She had tried to talk to him about it, had tried to find out what he was thinking, but the drummer was closed up right now, didn't let anyone come near him. So she had decided to do what she could best: Taking care of the rest of the pack, cooked for them and helped Michael once he had brought Jenna back. Shaking her head to stop her mixing thoughts Laura took the washcloath from the young man and replaced it on Jennas burning face. „It's ok! Like you said, there are so many people here right now. Ashley and Jordan can help me taking care of her. And maybe I can applicate Zack to go get some stronger meds tomorrow. I just feel like...“ growing silent for a moment Laura was thankfull that Michael didn't push her, but took place beside her and waited for her to find the right words, „It's aweful enough Tyler is all on his own right now. I don't want her to be all alone too.“ 

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Making sure her parents were asleep Jill slipped out of her bed and tapped over to the more massive one, that wasn't as crowded by machines as it had been, but still was far from a normal place to sleep. Taking her sisters hand she sat down beside her, studying the youngers face, glad finding her cheeks with a little colour, not so pale anymore. The oxygen seemed to do Sandra good, and Jill readjusted the mask, to make sure she got enough of it, before she leaned down and kissed her sisters head. „Hey, Sandy....I know you can hear me...and I think I know you're not alone! Please...don't give up, ok? None of you! There are an aweful lot people waiting on the two of you to wake up...stick together! Come back to us! You're so loved...You AND Tyler....“


	13. Chapter 13

Tipping the white envelope in his hands Brad tried to convince himself to open it, but couldn't find the strength to do so. He had stopped to pick up his phone whenever the number of Tylers management lit up, and he resumed that this letter was their answer to his denial to take his tweets down. The photographer was pretty sure he held the end of his carrer in his hands, as, when their laywers would be done with him, he'd probably have to sell everything he had just to have at least a chance to pay what they demanded. Tossing the envelope aside he growled, deciding not to open it, looking up as he realised it had fallen in front of Zacks feet. Tylers brother had seperated himself from them over the past few days, still Brad was the one person he stayed the closest too, as his seemingly cold demanour seemed to be easier to cope with for Zack then the open sadness everyone else displayed. Bending down and taking the letter the younger turned it and read the adress, giving the photographer a questioning glance. „What do they want from you?“ Brad stood up and walked to the window, leaning one arm on it's frame, looking down at the people passing by on the street. „End me. In the metaphorical way. They're not pleased with me giving informations about Tyler out. They want to hide it, so they can resume milking his sucess. I expect them to do that even more once he's six feet under. You know how the thing goes...dead artists are even more precious to those sharks then the one's who are alive.“

Hearing the sound of paper being ripped open Brad did not turn then, nor protest. It didn't matter if someone read it, it didn't matter if he'd loose everything he had. In a way, nothing did matter anymore. The morning seemed cold, and he shivered. Giving a whistle Zack overlooked the lines. „Wow...that's pretty much. I mean...did they really expect people who wanted to see them would just go and watch Brendon? I mean...with all due respect to Panic!...they're not Tyler and Josh.“ He didn't get an answer, so Zack placed the letter on the desk and sat down on the chair beside of it. „You know Jenna will not let that happen, right? And even if...you know I will not let that happen! Ty made enough in the past years to pay triple what they want from you. You can forget that. We'll take care of it.“ Balling his hand to a fist Brad watched a mother discussing furiously with her child beside the street. „You're like Snider. You've already given up on him, haven't you?“ There was an earie silence between them, and Brad felt that it was not one to find the right words, more one to delay what Zack was going to say. „To be honest: Yes. Yes I have. And if you all would use your fucking brains for a moment you would too. Do you seriously think Tyler would want the kind of life he's looking foreward to once he wakes up? He has a brain damage, it's for sure the doctor said. Noone can predict what that really means...but he will never be the same again. The music, the band, the touring...it was what held him alive in the past. He will suffer to no end if he wakes up. And I'm not willing to sit and watch that happen.“ „So what? You're going to kill him or something?“ Scoffing Brad turned now, trembling even more when he crossed the empty gaze of Tyler's younger brother. „If it's necessary...maybe. But I for sure will help him if he decides to leave. It's what I own him. It's what we all do.“

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Tyler was woken up by the sobbing, and immediatly thightened his grip on the girl in his arms, surprised as he found she was breathing even, was deep asleep. Still the sound of someone crying fell on his ears, muffled, like from far away, pulling a string in his heart. He knew that soul, whereever it was, and he knew it well. Slowly untangling Sandra from him he sat up, perking his ears, trying to get more of it, and he did, some broken, desperate pleads, some „Oh god...please help me...please!“, sent into the night from high above. Still he didn't dare to speak, to call out to the person, as he feared to shy them away, to make it dissapear, as he wasn't even sure if it was just another trick of his brain. Closing his eyes he strained his memory, searched deep in the depths of the muddy pond his thoughts had become, tried to find a face to the soft voice, and was hit with a memento so suddenly, that he nearly fell on his back again. „Jenna...“ he whispered, getting on his knees, feeling Sandra stirr beside him, waking up and asking what was wrong. The sob reoccured and he sprung to his feet, trying to locate where it came from, while he repeated the name, louder now, yelling it into the darkness, hoping so much she'd hear him, realise she was not alone. Hearing her cry broke his heart, and the moment the noises stopped he was able to find an avowal why. Tyler hadn't realised he was crying too, until Sandra took his hand, standing beside him now, squeezing it lightly. „Who is she?“ the girl asked, feeling how wound up he was, trying to get him back to clear thinking, as she didn't want him to panic. Seeing her beautiful face flash before his eyes, her blonde hair flowing down her shoulders, her steel blue eyes set on his, Tyler found something to live for, something that had been his cause to stay alive before he was thrown into this strange world of wicked dreams. „Jenna.“ he answered, breathing her name slowly. „She's my wife.“

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Putting the phone down on the counter Kelly stabled herself with both arms on it, closed her eyes and sent a silent „Thank you!“ up to heaven, before she turned and faced the two men waiting for her. Chris and Bill had been awake from early morning on, the Duns' kids were all three fast asleep, and Laura and Michael had sticked to nursing Jenna. Zack still refused to be around them all, it seemed he had a chat with Brad, which made Kelly hopefull that he got someone who cared for him, as she wasn't strong enough to break his walls right now. Stepping towards her Chris layed his hands on her shoulders, squeezing lightly, a silent question that she hurried to answer, as she knew how desperate he was to hear how his son was doing. „The temperature is dropping. He has made it through the night. Dr. Carson says we can see him once they are sure he's stable enough for visits, but only one person at a time and three different persons in total. They want to keep the risk for infection as low as they can.“ Pulling her into his arms Chris kissed the top of his wifes head then, so glad that she fell into him with her whole weight, giving up her strength for a moment and starting to cry in relief. They had gone through quite some troubles with their oldest kid before, and never had he seen her falter, his adoration for the woman he loved only rising with every step of their mutual way. Right now he promised himself to marry her over and over again, every year from now on, just because she was the ray of hope that led him through the darkness.

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„JENNAAAA!“ Shooting up from her lying position the blonde shocked the two other people in the room to death as she started to turn around furiously, her eyes searching blindly for something that wasn't there. „Have you heared him?“ she yelled at Laura, not recognising her face, her mind still far away and drowned in the hallucinations her fever gave her. „It's Tyler! Haven't you heared him? I need to get to him! He's calling me!“ Swinging her feet out of the bed Jenna wanted to get up then, but her knees gave in and she nearly fell, only being prevented to hurt herself by Michaels arms catching her and putting her back to the bed again. Fighting the pressure he made her ly down with, Jenna paniced, her blood boiling, her mind blurry. „LET ME GO! LET ME THE FUCK GO! I NEED TO GET TO HIM! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?“ she screamed, trying to kick Michael, who had now climbed half on the bed to keep her from hurting herself, off of her. „She's snapping!“ the security threw at Laura, who already had ran for the door to get her phone. „Keep her down! I'll get a doctor!“ Joshs mother replied, leaving the disturbing scene behind her and hoping that this was just a product of the younger womans feverish dreams, not her beautiful mind giving in to the madness she had endured.

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„...very good results. If you approve, we'll start to give her some medication that will trigger her system again...only a lower dose then the last time. We hope she'll start to wake up slowly with this. Unfortunatly...“ raising his eyes to the Banks that sat before him, their hands closely interwinded, Dr. May braced himself to tell them the bad news, „we have no options regarding to her leg anymore. It's starting to stall. If we don't take it off the chemicals her body will produce could be poisoning her...so my suggestion is to go for it. I'm totally aware what that means to you and your daughter, but I promise you we tried everything possible and this is the only resolution we have left.“ Starring at his desks plate in silence the Sydney and Clay didn't let each other go, although both of them were in totally different thoughts. „Will...will it be dangerous for her to get that sugery?“ Mrs. Banks asked finally, whiler her husband stayed silent, his bitterness visible in his face. „Not at all. We will do it before we acitvate her system, so she'll not need any further sedatives. Once we're done her body can start the healing and when she's back with us we can work out a therapy shedule for her. Sandra has good chances to learn how to cope with that. She's young and I know a lot of kids her age who adusted to loosing a limp just fine. It will be more a psychological challenge then a physical one.“ Ignoring his wifes trembling Clay snapped at the doctor then, driven by his fear and desperation. „And let me guess: This will cost thousands of dollars, right?“ „Mr. Banks, I was introduced that your daughters treatment will be payed fully by Mrs. Joseph, so you don't have to worry about it.“ Getting up and tossing some maps off the desk in front of him Clay growled: „I don't want this! She's trying to wash her hands clean from this! It was her fucking husband who's responsible for all that happened! All he did was making profit out of desperate, messed up young kids and now she'll pay my daughters treatment out of the asset he has made this way? I will not accept this! I'll fucking pay every single dollar of this on my own, are we understood?“

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It had become so familiar to hold each other while they cried, and Sandra couldn't even remember the time when they were strangers. Tyler felt closer to her then her own family did right now, although she knew that once they would reach the top of the mountain they maybe never might see each other again. Who knew where their bodies were in the real world, who knew if they weren't even on different continents, or wouldn't remind each other once they woke up. Still she was utterly grateful that she could be there right now, giving him an anchor, while he weeped his heart out as he missed his love so much, feared to never be able to be with her again. The girl got what tormented him, that he had not been able to help Jenna, when she had desperatly called out for someone, and Sandra knew there was nothing she could do to make him feel better, only being there and waiting until he got collected enough to start their journey again. It lasted longer then the sun needed to climb up the sky again, her ever blue light painting the mountains' shadows around them, and when his tears finally dried the girl pulled back a bit, taking his face in her hands, making him face her. „Hey...“ she whispered, soft and with a smile, swallowing on the pain reflecting in his eyes, „It will be ok! You'll go back to her! You'll see her again! Just...try to hang in, ok? We need to get going, Tyler. We can't stay here forever! Do you feel the dragging?“ Totally getting what she was talking about he nodded, laying his hands on hers, so glad that she was there, that he was not alone in this. „Yeah..it's...it's trying to pull me back.“ „Exactly. I can feel it too. We need to move, stay in motion. The nights aren't that bad, but if we don't go on in the sunlight...I think we might be stuck.“

Getting up slowly she stretched out her hand, trying to give him a reassuring smile, that turned into an honest one when he raised his arm and interwinded their fingers. Tugging him up and slunging one arm around his waist Sandra felt grounded by his coming around her shoulders again, and holding each other close they went on, towards the mountains that towered high above them now.

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Pushing the door to the managers' office open with a bang, Brendon did not loose a single minute to let his anger burst out. „What the FUCK do you think you are doing?“ he yelled at the assambled heads of his label, not caring the slightest how the stressed secretary stormed into the room behind him, apologizing for not being able to stop him. Slowly rising his own manager tried to soothe him with upholded hands. „Brendon, this is none of your business...“ but the singer wouldn't have any of it. „IT FUCKING IS ALL MY BUSINESS! Do you really think I'd stand by and watch how you start to dissemble Twentyone Pilots' team? While you fire their crew and sew their friends? Well, I got news for you assholes, I'm not gonna take that!“ „Brendon, please....“ Driving his fist down at the desk and tossing a pad of paper at their faces, hitting the main boss right on his head, the singer continued to scream, raising his volume even. „This are the signatures of every single artist you got under contract at the moment. They are all standing with me. I tell you what you're going to do...“ stabbing them all with his gaze Brendon took a deep breath and pushed out a warning he knew they had to take serious, no matter how much they thought they'd be able to rule him over, „You'll take back every single notice of termination you've done and you'll drop the law case against Heaton or all of us will leave, and then you can shove you're little labels' success up your asses, fuckers!“

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Knocking on the door relucantly Sydney hoped she had been given the right adress. It was already an overcoming to come here and she hoped not being faced with another stranger, as she couldn't bear with people right now. The more she was reliefed when it was Mark opening the door and she greated the young man with a faint smile. „Hello...is...is Kelly here?“ Mrs. Banks gave, shy and taken back, but feeling better in an instant when he openly beamed at her and opened the door more for her to step inside. „Yes, she's in the kitchen with her hubby. Come on, I'll show you the way!“ Being lead through the apartment, passing by a few rooms, Sydney was surprised to see so many people there. She recognised the coloured haired boy sitting on a bed, two other young people beside him, obviously trying to sooth his crying, as the drummer of her daughters' most beloved bands. Sydney had heared that he was injured too and took that as the cause why she never had met him at the hospital. There were another young man coming towards them, obviously on the way out, he looked so much like Tyler that she was sure he was his brother, passing them by without a hello, looking like he had just left an argument. Reaching the kitchen finally Sydney was greated with a heartwarming scene, Kelly and Chris standing in the middle of it, hugging each other tightly and talking softly. Not wanting to intrude she reached out her arm to stop the videographer from making her presence known, but he shook his head and gave her an „It's ok!“ before he called out for Tylers mother.

Intstantly smiling at her as she recognised the other woman Kelly came towards her then, pulling her into a thight embrace, and Sydney returned it, feeling their bond strengthening right then. „How's Tyler?“ she asked, while they parted, and her heart swelled on the joyful answer. „Much better! They say his fever has nearly vanished by now, which is highly unusual, but I don't care if it's a miracle or not.“ „He's a fighter!“ Sydney gave, rubbing the other womans arm, while she stepped towards Chris and hugged him too. „As your daughter is!“ Kelly answered, sitting down on a bar stool behind her. „She did improve, didn't she.“ Taking place at another stool beside her Sydney sighed. „Yes, she did. They are thinking about trying to wake her up slowly, as they think she's ready to leave her status. But...they'll have to remove her foot. They can't save it.“ Grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze Kelly knew exaclty what that meant to the other mum, and made sure to be comforting when she got on. „I know that sounds terrible right now, Sydney...but...Chris and me have worked with disabled kids a lot, and so did Ty. They are so adaptive in that age, she'll figure it out in no time!“ Nodding and swallowing her tears Sydney tried to be positive about it. „Yes, she was always a bright one, I'm sure she'll find a way. I'm...I'm more worried about Clay right now. He doesn't take the news all to well...he...recanted his consent to let Jenna finance the therapy. Said he'll go back home tomorrow and try to find an additional job to pay the bills. But...I know he won't. Where we are from, there's not much light, you know? It's a small town with not much possibilities to get payed. I wish he'd be a little more open. I mean...you know that I plan to pay every single dollar your daughter in law spends on us back, right? But...he needs to understand that for now we need to accept her gift, as I need him here...I can't do this on my own!“

Listening to her patiently Chris and Kelly both nodded and exchanged a look, knowing exactly what to do. „I'll talk to him.“ Tylers father exclaimed, stood up to get his jacket and shoes. „I can see why he refuses our help, and I understand why he's still blaming our son for this. It's easier to blame someone as accepting that bad things can happen without a cause.“ Watching him grateful Sydney sighed again. „Yeah but...I don't think that's why he's acting like this. It was him who buyed the tickets to the show. It was him who convinced me to let the girls go there. I think he blames himself for all of this...and I can't help him out there. Because...deep inside myself...“ biting her lip Sydney confessed what she had held back for so long, „I blame him too.“

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@brandonurie

Hey kids. I'll keep this short. Panic! Is not going to substitute for my boys Tyler and Josh, nor is Fallout Boy or Paramore. Nobody is going to do that. I can't even believe myself that I'm tweeting this, but some things are more important then live shows, and they are for sure more important the money. Use the dates that were set for TǾP's concerts to come together and be there for each other. Be there for my boys. You and me know that they've done an aweful lot for you guys...It's time to pay them back now. Believe in Ty like you've done all the way. He's a trooper. He'll make it. Just make sure to welcome him back, no matter if he'll ever do an album again. Ya'all say he saved your life. Maybe you need to save his too.


	14. Chapter 14

The shirt was sticking to her sweaty skin, it transformed into a second layer, although it was his, way too big and in wrong design for her. Jenna didn't wanted to open her eyes, because she feared to just find darkness again, even if the soft voices talking beside her were indicating that she hadn't gone back there, that she was in a room, that people she knew were around her. The cold lingering on her front, soothing her burning cheeks, made her shiver, small waves of trembling between the bigger one's of heat that ran through her system. Slipping in and out of sleep she tried to recover, push the fever out of her body, the pain out of her mind, but was caught in her feverish half-existence, nightmares haunting daydreams, that were even darker, even more dangerous. She fantazised about the funeral at one point, about stepping to his grave, looking down on the coffin. There were so much roses down there, the light wood wasn't even to be seen, and stretching her arms out to the side she let herself fall, hit the thornily surface, her skin breaking up and falling apart, until all that's left were her bones, cold and without fire, resting were he was, but still seperated from him. Turning in her bed she dismissed that vision, as it was too harsh, and stumbled right into another one. They were sitting on a roof, the one of his parents' house, and it was night, a memorable one. Jenna even knew the date, the time, the moment he had tried to brake up with her, because he thought he'd never be enough for someone like her. She felt the skin of his neck under her lips when she hugged him, proscribed him from ever saying that again, assured him she'd stick like the gum on his shoe. Tylers eyes were so dark when he looked at her, when he told her she was making a mistake with loving him. That he wasn't able to give love. She remembered how she had vowed in that moment to proove him wrong. 

There were lips on her temple, and she knew it weren't his. It was someone saying goodby, telling her they'd be back as soon as their work shedule would allow. That she shouldn't give up, not on him and not on herself. Jenna wanted to reach her hand out, to keep them close, but the presence left, taking the safety with them, and she fell, back into the ever changing memories, mixed with fractures of a future that maybe would never exist. She saw herself walking on a stage, a big, too big one, with a single microphone on it, starring into the silent crowd, the hopeful faces. The feedback gave a screetching sound when she started to speak, when she told them he was gone. They kept starring at her, low mumbling turning into a crescendo of accusations, of open hate, throwing at her that it had been her, her alone, that was to blame for this. That Tyler would have lived if she wouldn't have been so selfish to stay with him even when she felt the cold getting the best of her. Jenna ran then. She tossed the microphone aside, went full speed, ran down empty streets and tried to get lost. But where ever she went she took the voices with her. „It was you.“ They said, „It was you taking his life!“

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Sandra could feel his heart sinking when they looked up the wall before them, so she squeezed his waist a little harder. „I know it looks real high...but...we can do this, I'm sure!“ she gave, trying to not sound like she wanted to convince herself. Observing the gruffly stone, trying to map out a safe way up, Tyler didn't answer to this, stayed catatonic beside her. Feeling uneasy on his lack of reaction the girl untangled them, finding a little reliefed that he could stand on his own, and stretched her arms with interwinded fingers, so her knuckled cracked. „Alright boy, so how we're going to do that? You're going top or bottom?“ Waiting a few seconds she huffed as he still didn't moved or talked. „Oh come on, that was a real good one! I don't even expect you to clap or something, but a little sarcastic smirk would have been the minimum!“ „You shouldn't even know that terms in that context! You're a kid!“ he finally gave, snapping at her in a way, not really mean, but a sign of how torned and scarred he was right then. „Great, jackass, I didn't knew them before I came to stumble over the fanfictions on you and your bandmate making....“ stopping in the middle of her sentence Sandras eyes grew wide. A flash of a memory stroke her brain, only a short sequence, but she was much more awake now, much more on the surface and so she was able to grab it, hold it there, analyze und understand what she was seeing. Turning towards him slowly, her face paling, she starred at him open mouthed, saw him suddenly in a crowd of people, above them, holding a microphone, his gaze scanning the fans, before he brought it to his lips and started to rap. „Holy Shit!“ the girl exclaimed, taking a step backwards, worrying him with her strange expression. 

„Hey, what's wrong? Are you ok?“ he stressed, wanting to reach his hand out to her but she waved her arms defensive between them, realising that she needed a moment to process what she had just found. Gnawing his lip Tyler pondered what to do, but stood his ground, kept the distance she had brought between them though. „Sandra...you're starting to scare me! Please...tell me what's going on!“ he pleaded, getting more and more nervous on the way she scanned him up and down. Wide-eyed she finally found his gaze again, and stuttered out her revelation. „I...I know where...where I saw you...I know our connection!“ Getting more and more uneasy he helplessly threw his arms in the air. „Yeah and? Spill already, don't leave me hanging!“ „You...you're Tyler Joseph! Fuck! Sorry, I mean Frick! You're...you're my idol!“ 

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Grabbing his bag and shouldering it Michael braced himself for leaving. He would have given a lot to be able to stay with them, especially with Jenna, as he felt like she needed him the most right now, but he just couldn't do it without risking his own life getting out of balance. It would have been out of question to ignore that, if he wouldn't have had a wife waiting for him at home, depending on him being successfull, as the small seed of life growing in her needed a founded basis. It hurted him a lot that he hadn't been able to tell Tyler before that all happened, as the singer had been there for him in the past two years, when he and his girl had tried to get her pregnant over and over again, and it seemed like it would just not work out. Tyler had told him to be patient, he had talked him through the long nights on the phone, when his wife was asleep and Michael allowed himself to show his sadness on another negative test, that he held back during their days for her sake. „Good things happen to good people, and you, my friend, are the best!“ Tyler used to say, adding a joke, so his friend couldn't do other then laugh. His wife had agreed with giving the kiddo the singers name as a second one, no matter if it would be a boy or girl, as she knew how much he meant to Michael, and how much of a backup he was for her husband. Taking that secret with him the former security hugged the one's that stayed behind and left, hoping it wouldn't have been the last time he had came there. 

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The knock on the door was determined, and Clay didn't want to ignore it, so he stopped packing up for a moment and went for the door, opening it without checking who was out there first. He quickly learned it was kind of a mistake, when Chris Joseph pushed past him, growling a „We need to talk!“ at him, not caring if the other man was willing to do so. Standing at the door for a moment, blinking, Clay slowly pushed it shut then, observing the other sitting down on the desk and opening the bag he had brought. „A = hello, can I come in? = would have been nice, you know?“ he gave in lack of better words, pulling a stool out and sitting down to, surprised observing how Chris put two glasses, a bottle of liquor, and two cigars on the desk, before he crumbled the bag and threw it aside. „So what is this going to be? Let me guess, Sydney sent you!“ Mr. Banks went into a defensive mode, not really knowing how to cope with the situation. Clay liked the other man, they have had a few good talks, and he appreciated the way Chris hadn't tried to present his son as the fantastic, flawless person every one else seemed to take him for. In fact Tylers' father had been plainly honest from the start, had told him about all the troubles he and his son had when he were a teen, and gave Clay something to relate, as they had found Jill and Tyler had been pretty similar in their early, „rebellic“ days. Still it didn't change the fact that he had a strong sense of not wanting to get overruled, and so he refused the filled glass stretched his way, although he whinced a bit when it was placed right in front of him with an energetic move. „You're wife is with mine right now indeed. And that's what wrong on this picture. They should both be with their men who comfort them while they moan over their kids.“ Biting the tip off one of the cigars Chris pulled out a lighter and flicked it on, inhaled deeply and then coughed, watching the burning stick in a mixture of delight and disgust. „Jesus, I had forgotten how nasty those things taste!“ 

Getting uneasy Clay decided that maybe a little „nerv-killer“ wasn't such a bad idea and grabbed the glass, tossed his head back and swallowed, the burning liquid running down his throat, before he whiped his mouth with his free hand and growled, „What's wrong on this picture is that my kid is there at all! She had so much life in front of her...but she needed to waste it on a god damn Pop-Band!“ Snorting Chris drank his own, then refilled both glasses and cheered towards the other. „Better not let Tyler ever hear that! He's pretty insinstent in them being called Rock.“ Copying his action of drowning the shot Clay leaned back and ignored the slight trace of sickness in his guts. He had always been a lightweight and if they got on by that rate he expected to be drunk in no time. „Pop, Rock, God-damn-fairy-music, I don't care, fact is, even the police told me Sandra would be fine if your sons' tourbus wouldn't have crushed their car!“ Not missing a beat Chris was glad about the open confrontation, he was sure to find much more of a chance in it then it might seem right away. „And that Tylers' fault why?“ „Because he should have never started to aim for kids as an audience in the beginning! I mean...she's 13!!! What bands convince 13 year olds to go to their late night concerts?“ „A damn good one!“ Grabbing the abandoned second cigar Clay motioned for the lighter and got it promptly, both of them sitting in a comfortable sea of smoke soon. „I wasn't going to concerts when I was 13! I was still playing with my stuffed animals!“ „Hell of a rebel, hm?“ Chris smirked, trying to take out some more edges. Sighing Mr. Banks pushed the glass towards him, pleased that he refilled without questioning it. „See, I know what this is all about! But we don't need you pitty, ok? I can do this on my own. It takes more time, it takes more work, but I'm for sure not going to relate on the person that caused my daughters status!“ 

Gripping his hand as he tried to snatch the glass and not letting it go Chris made him look at him then, a strange fire burning in his eyes. „Listen...I know what you're thinking. And I get it. I know you want to be the one who fixes this, because deep inside you think YOU are responsible for this. But Clay...that's wrong! We both come from a generation that teached us to be the family's protector and upholder. And believe me, I gnaw on that one often enough myself! But right now it's time to swallow your fucking pride and just accept Jennas offering. Right now this place is were you are needed most. Sydney, Jill, Sandra...they can't do this on their own, knowing you are out there, working your butt off for them, while they are alone in a cold, unpersonal hospital.“ Starring down at were Chris fingers were wrapped around his wrist Clay sayed nothing, the wetness forming in his eyes signalising the other that he had understood though. „Listen, I called my laywer earlier. If you want to, he can set up a contract that changes Jennas gift into an interest-free and timeless credit. You'd be officially charged to pay it back to her, but in your time, with your possibilities, and without leaving your family to lay on the line in the process. Don't let your ego get between you and your wife, Clay, not now. This is so much more important then that damn little voice in our heads telling us that we have to take up everything on our own.“

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„....and a drummer. Just the two of you...and...and you do a show...a great, realy great one! Like...there are tenthousands of people watching you!“ Starring at the girl in awe Tyler was stunned by the fire with which she told him who he was, the light that shone in her eyes. „What kind of music?“ he asked and Sandra laughed, loud and overjoyed. „Oh shit, you would lol on that question if you'd be awake! That's the thing that makes you great, Ty! You can't be pinpointed to a style! To say it with one of your lyrics: You go where ever you want to.“ Observing the sky to get a feeling for how long they had left before the sun would fade again, Tyler tried to remember anything of what she said, but couldn't find a piece of it. Still, there was the feeling of familiarity in this, a sense of home, that made his heart beat faster. „Sounds kind of chaotic.“ „Nope, not at all! Your sound makes perfect sense! And don't get me started about your lyrics! You're...well...more of a poet then a simple singer! They are so deep, and so meaningful, and you helped me to find purpose, and so many others too!“ Rambling on Sandra had lost herself in the memory a little, and as much as it hurted him to bring her back to the reality they were in just now, Tyler knew he had to if they ever wanted to wake up to the one she was talking about. „That's...great, I guess. But...how does it come the both of us are here?“ Getting silent the girl looked down at her feet, the moment of content gone as fast as it had come. „I got no idea! All I can remember is that I was on the way to one of your concerts. With my sister. And we were driving...and then I was woken up by a crash and sat in that damn train.“ 

Tilting his head the singer strained his brain to the max. „Wait...a crash? Like...a crashing sound?“ „Yeah, like lightning. I think it was lightning, there were some trees and they were split and...“ „A car crash!“ Stopping her flow of words she looked at him, sudden worry coming over her as she saw him paling. „What?“ Opening his mouth a little he tried to tell her, but instead he screamed, suddenly and on top of his lungs, stumbling backwards, falling to the ground. Out of nowhere the visions tumbled down on him and Tyler relived what had happened, in slowmotion, cruely accurate, every single little detail, while he rolled on the ground, hands pressed thightly against his head. A man, his friend, telling him to go get up and something to drink. The sway of the bus, that nearly made him piss on his feet. The light chuckle he gave, reminding himself to better sit down next time, as his wife wanted him to at home nontheless. The slight curse as he found there were no Dorritos left. The second his fingers closed around the cans. And then when hell broke loose. As his body was pushed through the window by gravity, the small pieces of glass cutting his face and arms, hot metal hurting his back as he passed the cars. The crack when his head had hit the concrete with full force, the pain that ripped through his entire being. The last thought he had conciously done: „I don't want to die. Not here. Not now.“ 

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Hearing the muffled sounds of people interacting outside the room he had been given Josh wished they all would just disapear. He had done a fairly good job in tricking them into thinking that he was fine enough to be left alone, had faked a smile here, an „I'm no good, but I'll get there!“ there, and being distracted by their own worries noone had payed attention to how his features fell when noone looked, or his tome got defeated when noone listened too closely. The drummer didn't feel bad though that he faked them all out, in the end they were wearing a mask theirselves, one that should show him it was not his fault, still...Josh could feel the tension in Kellys hugs, the way Mark averted his gaze, the obvious disgust Zack presented, leaving the room every time the drummer entered it. They all tiptoed around the same truth, the one that should be kept hidden for his sake, but that he revealed himself so harshly. Tylers status WAS his fault, at least in his version of reality, and Josh hated them all for trying to proove him otherwise. Maybe if they'd knew the story, if they'd understand what was between him and his best friend, maybe then they would have gotten why he felt the need to suffer, to take the pain they other had to go through, but they had never been able to describe what they were for each other to anyone else. Standing in the little bathroom attached to the bedroom, looking into his own, empty face, Josh watched the tears stream down his face, the shaking in his arms, propped on the sink, his upper body still covered in nasty looking bruises, fading from deep purple to green slowly. Before the accident, Tyler had been his safe person. Whatever happened, whatever went wrong in life, there had been this one spirit he had never had any negative memories with, and he knew that it was just the other way around. When they had collided, they had been two run dry souls, afraid and broken, and they had found comfort in each other exactly out of that. Josh knew when to shut up and just sit down in the oposite corner of the room, if he found the singer huddled up in one, talking to himself as if he wasn't even there. Tyler knew when to step into his friends personal space and hold him through his attacks, when breathing got so hard to do and the beating of the singers heart on his ear helped Josh to calm down. 

All this fond moments, these little pieces he had treasured in his mind where now overwritten by a cruel one, branded into his brain, carved deep into him. Turning on the sink Josh gribbed a soap and started to rub his hands, the tears falling from his cheeks mixing up with the water and Tylers blood, that he saw all over them. He had washed his fingers again and again and again since the day he had held his best friends smashed skull together, but the stains wouldn't fade, and he wonderd why the others couldn't see them. His skin was raw and dry at that point, cracked open in shard edges, still he rubbed the soap over it with unforgiving pressure, whincing air, the dark red blood colouring the water but never leaving him. Cursing, panicing Josh gave a frustrated growl and threw the soap against the wall beside him, his breath racing his heart, his unsteady hands flying over the shelfs beside him until one grabbed a nail scissors, closing his fingers around it. Crying hard now he brought it up to his other hand pointed angled the edge to his palm and started to cut, long, thin lines, blood immediatly spilling, gentle first, but soon with pressure, watching his own juice of life wash away his best friends. Josh didn't hear the voices outside anymore. He didn't recognise Jordan and Brad to warn him to open the door or they would brake it down. He kept cutting and cutting and cutting, although they in the end did. Only when two pairs of strong arms gripped him and pried his fist open to release the little sharp piece of metal, he gave in and fainted. 

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A soft knock on his door brought Zack up from his slumber, and he sat up in bed, scratching his chest, giving an uncertain „Yeah?“ The door was slowly opened and Kelly slipped inside, closing it and walking over to him, taking place on the bed. A little irritated Zack blinked, and crossed his arms, unsure what her intentions were. If the topic was Tyler the two of them had never been on one page. Kelly new that her younger son way loyal to his brother in any sense of way, but he sometimes seemed to fail to see where he older was wrong. Sighing she stretched out her hand and ruffled his hair, wishing she could turn back time to the days were the biggest problems had been Zack covering Tyler for stealing cookies. „I'm going to see Ty now. Wondered if you'd come with me.“


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay guys, I had two really bad weeks, promise to be more regular now! Thank you for hanging on!

Slowly inserting the chemicals into the girls infusion Dr. Carter exchanged a glance with Dr. May, who nodded and stood up to left the room. The older dotor had asked Ken to link Tyler to the EEG, so he could study his reaction while they waked Sandra. Still Carson was doubting that there would be one, as magical their parallel recovery had been to this point, he just couldn't wrap his mind around that they were interacting in a way. Taking his time, as he didn't wanted to provocate a harsh reaction like the last time the doctor watched her parents, that sat by, Sydney melting into her husbands arm, content about his decission not to leave her alone, to accept Chris' idea. Clay was way more relaxed now himself, the night with Tylers father had done him good, the two men had bonded and shared a lot of stories and laughs. What made them even more hopeful was that Jill, who had retreated in her shell a bit, had found some friends in the entourage that was surrounding Tyler, she clicked well with Ashley and Jordan, and Mark had discovered kind of a fatherly streak when it came down to her. The signs seemed to be good...Dr. Carson just prayed that the results would match them.

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Lowering herself to his level Sandra only cautiously reached her hand out to touch him. Tylers outbreak had startled, but not frightened her, it had more teared something inside her mind, as she more and more remembered what had been. They had sung, she and her sister. Jill had overtaken a car, that suddenly started to spin. They had no chance. The pain had been unbearable, when her leg was pressed between the metal and her bones splintered into a thousand pieces. Once the noise had stopped, there had been an aweful moment of quiet, like she'd linger in the world between the living and the dead, before she heared people start to scream, a person groan it's last breath. Braking away slowly Sandra had recognised her sister beside her, on the window, punching against the glass frantically, before she was dragged aside by a fireman. It had lasted so long for them to get her out, and it had been so cold. She remembered how she fought to stay awake, but her mind couldn't take the agony, the dreadful scene around her. She had opened her eyes a last time before she passed, seeing a bloody figure being carried by on a stretcher, people stumbeling behind. Seeing him sit in the sand, his knees pulled to his chest, his hands pressed to his eyes Sandra realised that it had been Tyler, injured as badly as she was, maybe even more, and she understood. That had been when their ways had crossed, when fate had brough them together in one of the most unbeliveable manner.

Touching his arms gently she pulled once, twice, until he removed his hands and looked at her, his pupils blown of the shock. „Ty...“ she whispered...“Tyler...come on, we need to wake up!“ only to find him shaking his head, closing his eyes. „I...I can't...I...my head...I'm...“ Not willing to let him panic Sandra gripped his wrists harder. „You've made millions of people sing your words. You CAN wake up!“ Although they were alone, out in the open, they both had tuned their voices down, matching the hopelessness of their conversation. „No...you don't get it...I...I can't go back...I...I'll loose everything I have...I know now that I'm damaged...Sandy...I'm too damaged, I can't go back to what I've been...I'll loose...“ „Bullshit! Guess what? I think my fucking leg was smashed...I think I lost it. But that's not the point! Our bodies can heal...but we can't stay here or we'll die!“ Thinking of the person she had once known as Tyler Joseph, and the boy she had to come to know now, Sandra hated herself for doing this to him, set him under emotional pressure, but she felt the pull of the desert getting harder, knew he was feeling it even more. If she waited for too long Tyler would stay, and she'd wake up to a tragedy. Forcing herself to cry, which was not all too hard at that point, Sandra let her lip quiver, her lashes pat as she looked him right in the eye. „But...you...you promised! You promised me to not let me alone! You...You can't leave me...I'm so afraid!“ For a long time there was nothing then. He looked at her, maybe even through her, trying to seperate himself from life. But that spark inside him that always had kept Tyler going wouldn't fade, and knowing how needed he were right now might have been the cause for it.

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Clinical, white bandages covered the damage he had done, still Josh couldn't look at his hands for too long. If he did the hint of blood staining them was played up by his mind, and he shivered out of a sudden and violently, making Brad quirk his brow and turning up the cars heater a little more. After Jordan and the photographer had pinned him down until he calmed, there had noone else been around him, as they had decided that the main thing the drummer needed was rest right now, and Brad turned out to be the one he was most obidient too. The older didn't even raise his voice much, he just gave off such a common sense of being pissed off, that Josh didn't dare to raise his word when were told to get in the car and droven to the hospital, where a familiar looking nurse had sewed his cuts with quick hands. Josh was glad for having gotten painkillers, they took the edges out of the world and made him dizzy in a good way. It was a fake warmth that spread in his middle, but at least there was something. „I'm sorry.“ he stated, more towards the air then his driver, still Brad didn't miss a beat to answer harshly. „You could have hurt your fucking nervs, man! The fuck, you're a drummer! You need your hands!“ Shrugging Josh let his head fall against the seat and roll to the side, watched the city fly by, as he had done so often. „That was the plan.“ he let out dangerously low, kind of a thread, a dare to himself, as he suddenly was pulled a little foreward and fell into the security belt as Brad slowed the car down in a sudden and switched to the emergency lane, where he cut the engine off and turned. „Dude, this is a highway!“ Josh threw at him, slightly nervous as there was a lot of traffic and standing still in that was probably not the best idea. „Don't care. What was that?“ Gnawing his lip the younger starred into Brads eyes, that held a mixture of pain and anger. The drummer felt that it was to no avail to lie, so he didn't go for it.

„I said that was the plan. To hurt my nervs, or muscles, or whatever.“ Starring at him for another minute Brad scoffed, sat back in his seat, gripped the wheel and started the car again, driving on worldlessly for a while. Josh was grateful that he didn't yell, his was tired of loud noises anyway, and started to drift off to sleep, as on the edge of his perception the question he had feared were asked. „Why, Joshua?“ He didn't open his eyes, he was too tired, but the tears found their way on their own. „If Tyler wakes up...he'll never be able to perform again. I...I don't want him to feel like...I'd leave him alone again.“ 

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Not letting her sons hand go Kelly stepped into the room, the strange material of the mask she had to wear scratching on her nose. Zack was relucant, his eyes pinned to the ground, and she could feel that he wanted to flee with every fibre of his being. Still he followed her inside, and towards the bed, where she finally let him go to reach out for her other kid, that was still so lifeless, with a little more colour on his lips though. „Hello, Ty! It's so good to finally see you again! You kept your momma waiting...you know I don't like that!“ the woman gave in a playfull, yet scolding tone, just like she always used to talk to her kids when they came by after a longer pause in their visits. Ignoring her gaze, that indicated he should talk too, Zack felt sick the moment he recognised the machines noises, saw the tubes and electrodes attached to his brother. Not wanting to he raised his eyes, took in the whole dimension of this. There were not too much left of the older, at least not on the outside.

Tylers hair had grown back a little, but the doctors kept it short so the elctrodes could stick better to his skin, which made the scar that ran over the side of his head was painfully visible. Zack knew that metall screws rested behind the broken and sewed skin, he had read the medical report, they kept the olders skull together now, so his brain didn't splash out. Dr. Carson had promised his parents that Tylers face would go back to his features, at least mainly, but right now it looked like a mask, being sticked together by parts of multiple persons, the cuts the glass had left seperating the skin in patterns, swollen bruises on his front and chin. It was only a little comfort that the doctors had spared his tattoos when they opened his chest, a thick red line now like inked into his skin, like one more added. Sensing how hard the picture hit her younger son, Kelly kept talking, to create something like normalicy, where there was nothing but chaos. „See who I dragged here! Maddy and Jay couldn't come I'm sorry, but we're not allowed to have so much persons around you right now. Jenna is doing better, Laura does a fantastic job caring for her, I hope you were not all too worried about her. I thought...maybe Zack would lighten your mood a bit...the two goofheads you are...“ her voice trailing off Kelly turned away wandered to the window. Her own grief hit her only in waves, inbetween the times of strength, but when it washed over her it took away her breath for a minute. Yet her heart wanted to sing when she suddenly heared her younger sons voice behind her, when Zack took all he had together as he saw she couldn't take it anymore, and started to talk to his brother.

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„Tie that around you. No, idiot, not around your neck!“ „This ain't a noose this is a leash, am I right?“ „Ahhhhh, finally remembering your lyrics?“ „This is a lyric?“ Trying to keep up the banter Sandra grinned, slung her hand around the rope they had crafted out of his shirt and tugged hard, pulling him closer to the wall. „Yap, and I got news for you: You must obey me.“ „As if I wouldn't already!“ „Sweet!“ Determined to use the drive they had the girl gripped two holes in the wall and wanted to start to climb but felt his hand on her shouldern and turned. „What?“ Tyler watched her intently, and she felt it was serious now, so she let her annoyance fall and added a softer: „It's ok. It's just for safety. None of us will fall.“ „You wouldn't be able to hold me if I did.“ „Exactly. That's why you will not fall.“ Shoving his hand aside Sandra started to climb, pulled her slim body up the rocky wall, feeling her shirt slip a slide up and the stone scratch her skin already after a few feet. She could tell Tyler followed her without looking down as the rope they had linked each other with did not strain, and so she kept her eyes upwards, towards the small heel that they planned to climb to first. From there on they hoped to have a better view at the summit and being able to map out the rest of the way. It was hard to find gaps in the stone, and her fingers hurted, as did the skin on her hips. Tyler must have been scratched opened by now, but she didn't hear him complain, so she got on, high-flying, insistant. The blue sun found them again, when they climbed high enough, and Sandra did a look back, into the dessert, finding it endless and plain just like before. She would not miss that place, never, no matter what the future held.

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Softly closing the door to Joshs room Brad took a second to recover, to lean his front against the wall and breath an „I'm way too old for this shit!“. He had quickly learned that there was no way to reasoning with the drummer right now, and knew they would have to instruct Laura and Bill on what he said. Josh needed help to get through this, more help then they all could provide. Snatching his ringing phone out of his pocket with a painfull grown Brad would have loved to smash it against the closest wall, but controlled his anger and picked up, getting even more annoyed when he learned who was on the other side of the line. „HEATON! I try to reach ya'll for hours now! What the fuck is wrong with you?“ Placing his head back against the cold surface Brad sighed and decided not to pick up a fight. He was too tired and Brendon was noone you tried to fight. The singer would have won anyway. „Listen Bren, Tyler is still dying and Joshua is going nuts, so please do me the favour and don't add yourself to the list of my problems!“ The change in the singers demanour was visible even over the phone, it was like his voice dropped an entire octave, his words got slower. „What's with Josh?“ „He has cut his hands open with a fucking nail scissor! Don't ask, I've got no idea. He says something about wanting to hurt himself so Tyler does not feel like the only one not able to make music when he wakes up.“ „IS he waking up?“ „I'm not sure...it...doesn't look like so far.“ Letting a moment of breath between them Brendon huffed. „And you're not sure if it would be a good thing at all, am I right?“ „Well...let's put it that way...they had to plant fucking metal plates into his head to keep his skull together...I don't think Tyler will be able to jump around on stage as much as he did before.“ „Mhmmm good old sarcasm! I enjoy a good one! Still, grumpy ass, that's not why I originally called.“

Pushing himself off the wall Brad started to walk down the hallway. „Oh, great, then enlighten me!“ „You shall be lit! I've heared of FBR's little stunt against you.“ Whincing Brad shook his head. „You needed to remind me of that, didn't you?“ „Hold on, you're not the only one they tried to fuck with. They had started to send out dismissals to the boys' crew. Jordan Snider called me, he got an by end of month termination.“ Stopping in his tracks Brad felt tears of anger walling up his eyes. „They're firing their crew?“ „They wanted to. But don't worry, kiddo, uncle Brendon took care of it!“ Tilting his head Brad hoped that this would not end in disaster and was stunned to learn that it wouldn't. After all, Brendon had a brain in his pretty head and a pitch black heart, but it rested on the right place. „We all got together. Like...Fall out boy, Paramore, us...the younger artists. We made them sign a contract that they wouldn't sew you or fire anyone until it's not onehundret percent confimed that Tyler comes back.“ „You can't be serious? They did that?“ „They had to. Otherwise they would have lost all artists at once.“ The tears that finally touched his beard were not the one of anger anymore as Brad bit his lip, thinking about all the people, all this amazing people standing together for Tyler and his friends.

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Neatly placing the syrenge Dr. Carson took a deep breath. „So this will be the final mixture. She'll get a lot of adrenalin, which, at that point, should cause her to wake up physically to us. Don't expect too much though please. She might be awake for a few seconds, it's enough for us to do some basic check ups, but I have to ask you not to talk to her. She'll be disoriantated, and awefull tired. We'll let her sleep after this. In the following days, we hope her system can keep her concsiousnes up and she will have more and more awaken times.“ Feeling Sydney and Jill crawling even closer into his arms Clay nodded and shifted his gaze to his younger daughter, breathing softly, looking like she would be just deep in dreams. Ken picked up the syrenge and turned, his gaze crossing with Dr. Mays, who stood outside the window, answering his raised brow with the shake of his head. So Tyler hadn't improoved by now. Carson sighed and got on to safe at least one of their patients.

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Sandra reached the edge of the plattform just in time when her arms started to give in. Panting heavy she pushed herself on the small flat surface, and stayed down, trying to find her breath. Beside her, Tyler more crawled then climbed onto the platform, equally exhausted, looking terrible with small lines of red all over his chest. He was dirty, too, black patches lingering on his skin, strangely square, and not thinking too much Sandra reached her hand out and tried to rub the dirt off his skin, but it stuck. Another flash stroke her brain and she saw a picture again, Tyler smiling, in the sunlight, with lines on his arms and a cross on his chest. „Your tattoos...they're coming back!“ she stated and he followed the line of her gaze and looked down on himself, raised his left arm, observing the three thin lines wrapping his wrist. „I guess that's a good omen.“ The singer gave, while sitting up and leaning against the wall, offering her a hand to get up from the ground too. Ignoring it Sandra pushed herself up and sat beside him, reading his face. „You're afraid.“ A snorted smile welcomed her she sighed, glad that he didn't set up a mask. „Of course I am! When we wake up...I don't know what I will have left. My life is music...I know that much now...and with being here...“ he gestured towards the endless sand way down below them, „I feel like my mind is being draught out. I...I don't know if I'll still be able to play an instrument. Or to sing. If I'll be able to do anything, that is. If this is a coma, Sandra...then how is someone like me supposed to come back from that?“

„You're not different then me. Do you think I'm as hopeless?“ she tried to challenge him, not willing to let him go. „No. You ARE other then me. You are young and...“ „Oh come on, don't give me your = I'm an adult = shit, Tyler! We know each other better then that by now! Fact is, you're about to piss your pants! And guess what? Me too! This is scary shit, man! Still, you'll get your balls together boy and climb up that mountain, or I will personally kick your ass up there!“

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Sucessfully drowning half of the glass of water Laura had offered to her Jenna leaned back into the pillows exhausted. Finally her fever had begun to fade and she was awake, felt wrung out, but not cuaght into visions anymore. Placing some crackers beside her the older woman smiled and sat down. "You don't need to stay with me." the blonde stated, her voice weak, but steady. "Joshua needs you more right now." Laura gave a deep sigh and shifted a bit. "He may need me right now but he doesn't want to have me around." "Is he that bad?" Avoiding the younger womans gaze Laura had a hard time keeping her smile up. "It's...I've never seen him like this! I'm honestly afraid of what will happen if Tyler..." catching herself just a single moment too late Laura shook her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't say something like that! I AM sure Ty will come back." Sliding a little deeper Jenna tugged the blanket higher around her shoulders before she answered, calm and collected. "No, you're not. And so is anybody else. So is me." The quiet was harsh between them, only distant sounds of the busy city being carried through the opened window by the slight breeze. "Is...is it insane that I wish he would die a peacefull death instead of suffering so much?" Jenna asked relucantly after a while, hiding her question behind the honk of a bus. There was no right answer to this, Laura knew, so she didn't give one. "Do you think he suffers so much? Where he is right now he might feel no pain." Picking the skin beside her nails Jenna felt how tiredness overcame her slowly. "Yeah...but he can't stay there forever. Dr. Carson told me that cases like his are monitored for about a year...and if nothing happens, they suggest to pull the plug." Grabbing her hand and squeezing it Laura tried to be something like an anchor. "Jenna...sweetheart...don't think about this right now! This all has just happened! Tyler is not a long time coma patient that had showed no signs of anything! Dr. May said himself he's impressed by the outcomes of his tests! You're far away from making that decission...and IF it's ever to be done, it's in the future. You gotta live now, Jenna, in the present...now more then ever."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making up for letting you wait so Long....

Stepping out on the balcony Mark slid the glass door shut and stayed at his spot for a moment, observing the dangerous stunt his friend did on the rail. With no doubt Josh had heared him coming, but choosed to ignore him, and even if Mark felt the urge to grab him and pull him back on the safe concrete he didn't do it. In a way he understood why the drummer had to linger on the edge right now, how it helped him coping. It was the same feeling that made him pull out a small package and shaking a cigarette into his trembling hand, bringing it to his mouth and connecting it with the flame of a small, silver ligther. Not caring about how the smoke was blown right into Joshs face as he joined him at the rail, leaning beside where the drummer sat with his feet dangling off the building, Mark did a deep drag and let the ashes fall onto the street deep below. „Tyler would punch you right in the face if he knew you started smoking again.“ „He wouldn't. But he would be very dissapointed. As much as he'd be dissapointed in you.“ They shared some time of their self produced agony then, Josh drowning his mind in his fear of heights, Mark in the smoke that made his lungs burn. „I didn't help him.“ the drummer finally admited what haunted him most, to the only person that might understand. „They all clapped my back as they did yours about how we kept him alive. But you know that is not true. I didn't help him. I freaked out. You are the one who gave him breath, and a beat. I would have let him die.“ Spinning the burning stick before his eyes Mark wondered if that was the only thing what was left of them all, once their bodies faded. „Don't be so harsh on yourself, Joshua. You had an attack.“ „And that attack would have costed my best friends life if it wouldn't have been for you!“ „And maybe a butterfly moving his wings on the other side of the world would have changed things and there would have been no accident and maybe, maybe, maybe. Stopp thinking, Josh. It is like it is, and we will take it like it comes. If Tyler's going to live, we will be there every step of the way to help him, if he dies...we'll be with him on his last path.“

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They climbed side by side now, and Tyler hadn't talked about giving up anymore. Sandra appreciated his silence, she ran out of hope herself too fast to gift him with it, as her arms quivered under the strain and her fingers hurt. Both of them had torn nails, bloody tips by now, but strangely they didn't hurt. From where they had started they hadn't seen another platform, so they expected that they would have to go all the way, and took some more time to relax. Still, the prospect of the night coming more sooner then later lingered in there necks, kept them on the edge. If they wouldn't reach the summit before the sun vanished, they'd be stuck somewhere in the steep face, and both of them felt what that would have meant. So they kept going, slow and deliberable, in perfect sync. The stone seemed to get more and more erodet the higher they went, and started to crumble here and there. Feeling her hand slip Sandra did a sharp breath as her weight was full loaded on the other, but soon felt fingers closing around hers and placing her hand against the wall again. „Here...that's a better spot.“ Tyler gave, calmly, not removing his hand from hers for a moment. „It's not that far anymore.“ the singer added, and slid up against the harsh surface, while she hurried to keep up with him. „Ty?“ the nickname rolling so easily off her tongue Sandra wondered if she'd still use it that way once they were awake. „Yeah?“ „Do you...do you think we will remember each other? I mean...will we know what we've been through?“ „There's no way I can forget you. You saved my life...more then once.“

Feeling herself blush the girl concentrated on their task again. „So did you. Still...I really hope we'll meet again. Will you...will you visit me? I mean, there's no way we're in the same hospital. My family...we don't have that much money. That's why I was so excited when dad gave us the tickets. He had to work hard to have so much extra dollars to spent just for our fun. I hope he doesn't blame himself for what happened.“ Stopping another time, now to look her deep in the eyes Tyler let his hand brush hers again. „Hey...listen, ok? IF we both wake up...and IF I remember who you are...I will not let a single thing unmoved to find you.“ „Stopp it you're sapp...“ There was a sudden rush in her body, a fire that burned her up. Sandra felt how she was pulled back, into the air, away from the wall, away from him. She didn't fell though, but levitated, the rope between them strained. In the distance, she could see Tyler grab it with one hand, trying to pull her back to him, but the strange force that worked on her was stronger and ripped the thin line they had crafted appart. Tyler's „NO!“ rung in her ears when everyting went dark, as if the night would have been switched on, and Sandra felt like being lifted, higher and higher, above the mountains and through the clouds. Closing her eyes she tried to find a connection, hoped with all her heart that he could hear her whisper. „Don't give up...please, just don't give up! Stay alive for me, friend!“

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„....and hold it like this. Support all the weight on your shoulder. You need to get one with the camera, so your movements when you film are natural. Plus, you kind of need to look with a = second eye = if you want so...always remember the lens are not what you directly look at if you film off your shoulder like that, they are kind of shifted a little to the side from your actual view.“ Expertly placing the camera a little higher on the girls shoulder Mark stepped back and admired his work. He had found out that Jill was interested into filming just this morning, and had taken full advantage of it right away. It was a good distraction, to both of them, and Mark enjoyed to give his knowledge to the younger, as her first few tries had been pretty damn good. They had decided to go outside, to enjoy the days unusual warmth, still they stayed hidden in the inner park of the hospital, seperated from the waiting fans through the security gates. The videographer still couldn't deal too much with them, and Jill had no interest to do so. Opening her mouth she was just about to do a question as her phone rang. Handing the camera back the girl pulled it out of her pocket and paled as she saw her mothers number on it. She pressed her lips to a thin line, meeting Marks equally worried gaze and took the call, just to be greated with a hectic, high pitched voice. „Jillian! Come up here fast! She's waking up! Your little sister is waking up!“

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She had not fallen, still it felt like a landing when Sandra became aware of her body, slowly, in waves. It felt alien to her, changed in more then one ways, and the thing that hit her most was the pain. While being in the desert, she had experienced no physical harm, but here, in the real world, her body was still littered in so much scars, so much wounds, and the doctors had decided on not giving her painmeds right away, as they wanted to test her reaction first. While her spirit settled in her bones Sandra began to remember. There were so many little moments branded into her brain, and they came to her without making sense. A birthday party, hers she assumed, a cake with three little candles. Her grandmothers kind eyes when she laughed down at her. Figthing with mum and dad, the abscence of her older sister in the house. The feeling of things getting better, the joy of being a family again. The blood, the pain, waking up in a different world. Tyler. Ripping her eyes open the girl did a deep breath, tried to take in her surroundings, but her vision was blurred and there was something on her face, it was smooth but foreign, it pushed a light rush of air into her hungrily sucking lungs. Sandra wished she could have moved, but she was too weak, she felt her body, but it was useless, as much as her mind that was slowly overcame by the intense strain of starting to work again. Blinking slowly she did shift her head to the side though, were she felt something warm gracing her shoulder, a hand as she learned. Still the person it belonged to was too far away to recognise, but it didn't matter who it was for what she had to do.

Her lips were chapped, broke when she moved them, a voice, unused for too long, tumbling out. Moving her lazy tongue carefully Sandra repeated the same thing over and over, prayed that they would understand, that they were even able to help. The hand vanished but a face came closer, a foreign one. The person lit her eyes with something and she wanted to huff angry, but couldn't, as breathing was already hard enough. Not giving up though Sandra repeated her plea, as long as it took the person to lean down to her, place their ear closer to her mouth to get what she was saying. „Tyler...you...need to...get him...he's...he's on the edge...drag him up!“

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The bang of the door would have been indicator enough that something had happened, but Dr. Carsons face spoke even more. Swinging his feet out of the staffs rest bed Dr. May sat up, not wasting time with friendlyness. „What is it?“ Shaking his head as if he wouldn't believe what he said, Ken burst out, his words stumbling over the other out of eagerness. „Sandra! She was awake! It worked! And she talked!“ „Good!“ A pleasent smile spread on Dr. Mays face, but fell instantly when the younger medic got on. „She said we need to get Tyler, that he's on the edge. That we should pull him out of it.“ Shooting up Dr. May lost no minute then to grab his coat and brush past the other, running down the hallway and belowing at a nurse to follow them. „I need the exact same mixture you gave the patient in room 302, only the double dose, and fast!“ he instructed her while they rushed down the aisle, Dr. Carson in tow. „Wait! Hey!“ Ken tried to keep up, and finally came same level with the older. „We can't do that! If Tyler has a similar reaction like she had first time it's going to kill him! His system is far too weak for that shock! We need to...“ Stopping abruptly Dr. May grabbed him by the shoulders and drilled his gaze into his eyes. „Carson! Don't you understand? She was there! She was with him! There's no way she knew that he was in coma too! And if she's right, we need to act fast or we will loose your patient for sure!“

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Josh knew Abby and Jordan were set to watch him. They tried to be subtle about it, but their frequent check ups and the way they let dangerous subjects vanish from his range told books about it, so he figured it was to no avail to stay in his room. Sulking at the couch in the living room he had tried to fix his concentration on the TV screen, ignoring the sushed conversations between Kelly, Chris and his parents. Zack had been deeply shaken when they got back from the hospital and knowing the younger well Josh knew how bad the sight must have been. Tylers' younger brother was not someone to cry, but his face had been reddend by the tears when he rushed into his room. Around lunchtime Jenna joined him, carefully led to the couch by his mum, the blonde looked a bit better now, still the exhaustion was too visible on her normally flawless face. Josh didn't hesitate to lift his arm and offer her his side, which she gratefully took, pressing her body against his, stealing the little warmth he had to offer. Placing his chin on top of her head the drummer exhaled and soaked in the closeness, realising how far he had pushed everyone away, while it had been exaclty this what he had needed...being close, safe, around living things. Staying like this both of them started to doze off, unnerved when they were disturbed by sudden hectic around them, people talking confused. Opening one eye to check up on the mess Josh darted up when he realised Kelly and Chris grabbing their coats, arguing with Zack that he should stay back. Shaking Jenna off him as gently as he could Josh rose then, stepped between them and sushed everyone with a seriousness in his voice that needed no volume. „What happened?“ he asked, starring Kelly in the teary eye. „The girl woke up! She talked about him! They want to give him a special shot to force him to wake up...“ not even able to end her sentence Kelly rushed behind the drummer, that was out the door in his slippers and shorts in an instant. „JOSHUA! Wait! You can't....“ The glare she got told her otherwise and not having the time to fight with him right now Kelly gave in. „At least grab your god-damn shoes and a shirt, boy!“

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The wind had set in out of a sudden, as if someone had just switched it on, and he pulled on Tylers nervs as much as on his body. He had given up seeing where he grabbed a long time ago, he was crying way too hard to have a clear vision, but he still fought his way up the wall, determined not to break his promise. Deep inside he knew Sandra had waken up, she hadn't fell, she just dulled, until there was nothing left of her, like if her existence was erased out of this world. Deeply afraid of what was waiting for him, the only thing that kept him going by now was what she had told him, of how her familiy wasn't able to effort a good care. There was no way Tyler would let that happen, not after he had gotten to know her so close, felt like she had become a part of him. Remembering a conversation he and Jenna had, just days before she left to see her friends, he wondered if this was what a father felt. His wife had told him she was ready, that she didn't wanted to wait any longer. Tyler hoped dearly that he would still be able to grant her that wish. For now, he had to push all that aside though, as the wind began to pick up and tugged on his hair, harsh and unforgiving, letting his fingers grow cold to a point he nearly couldn't move them anymore. Logic told him that it was useless, the summit was way too distant for the little strength he had left, but his faith was strong, stronger then it had been before. A silent prayer on his lips Tyler begged for help, a sign, a miracle, anything that would save him before his hands would give in and he would drop back down, smashing into thousand pieces once he hit the ground.

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„I'm in the park. Guess I'll stay here.“ The message read and Brad couldn't resent Mark doing so. Everyone dealt differently with the prospect of getting a decission that day, god speaking his final judgment if Tyler was to live or die. The photographer could tell Zack was strictly against the idea of force-waking his brother, but was helpless against the odds, so he had locked himself in his room. Laura and Bill promised a shaken Jenna that they would drive her to the hospital, but needed to wait for the go of Tylers doctors first, as she wasn't feverish anymore, but for his status they needed to take highest caution. What hadn't suprised him the slightest was how Josh had reacted. The drummer had been torn between visiting his best friend and staying away for a while now, but once it was clear Tyler might open his eyes there was no way someone could stop Josh from seeing him. Starring at the blinking line on his screen, still waiting to be turned into a message, Brad realised how his hands shook then. It had started slightly, but soon grew more and more, took a hold of his arms, his shoulders, his whole body in the end. All the time since the accident had happened, he hadn't allowed himself to grieve, to hope, to be desperate. Brad had gone into auto-pilot, had shut off his thinking so he could be usefull for everyone around.

The news took a weight from him now, but strangely feeling lighter was not the same as feeling good. Brad sobbed, harshly, when his demanour broke, when all the pent up emotions broke free, sweat through his skin and ran out his eyes. There was no one there who could have soothed him though, and slowly loosing himself he blindly redialed the last number he had talked to. It was a concidience, maybe even luck that it was Brendons. The singer didn't even ask when he heared him cry, he just sighed and told his wife he'll be in his room for a while before he spoke to his friend. „It's ok Brad. Let it go. You're safe with me.“

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Stepping out of Sandras room Sydney grabbed Kellys arm when she was about to rush by, and pulled her into a hug. „Thank you! Thank you so much for all you've done! I wish your child wakes up too! I'll pray as long as I need to!“

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Nearly turning and running out of the room again Josh fought the urge to heave as he became sight of all the mechanics that surrounded his best friend, of the grey, strange skin that spanned his bones. Tyler looked so changed, so different, an alien twin of the person he had been. Feeling Chris' hand at the small of his back, genlty pushing him foreward the drummer stepped closer, until he stood beside the bed, his fingers brushing the white sheets, a shiver jerking through him when he took the youngers in his. „H..Hey Ty...“ he started, but his voice broke, the tears drowning it in sobs, the only thing holding him upright the way his friends father stabled him. Gladly the moment didn't last for too long, the tension broke when Kelly entered the room with the doctors and a nurse, all of them with serious faces. „Mr. Joseph, Mr....“ looking at the drummer questioning Dr. May nodded at Kellys „Josh. Joshua Dun.“ „Mr. Dun, we're going to bring Tyler to the surgery now. There is only one person allowed in there, and Mrs. Joseph informed the that it's up to the two of you who wants to be it.“ Both of them spinning around, looking at her shocked, the men couldn't believe what they had heared. „Kelly...darling...“ Chris wanted to start but she brushed him off with a move of her hand. „I know what you're going to say, I'm his mum, it's my right to be there...but...honestly...I...I don't think I can watch that. Plus...Dr. May told me it would be helpfull if the person closest to him would be there if he wakes up...and as Jenna is not available...“ both parents shifting their attention on the drummer Chris stepped beside his wife and pulled her into his arms. „Joshua...would you...?“ Closing his hand even tighter around the lifeless one he held Josh nodded through his tears, moved by the gesture and the trust that was set in him. „Yeah..I'll be with him. All the way.“

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The glass was broken, as he had smashed the picture against the wall in one of his outbreakes, still Zack let his thumb run over the faces, not caring if his skin got cut or not. It showed him and Tyler, on top of the world, together on stage at Madison Square Garden, a moment he cherrished deeply and held close to his heart. The two brothers had never held back on declaring their love for each other, not as kids and not as grown men, as they had been close all the way, from the moment they shared their room to the moment Tyler asked him to come on tour. When Zack had learned what had happened, he had been convinced right away that dying would have been better for the older, better as what was waiting for him now. Spending nights on his phone Zack had learned that there was no way Tyler would go out of this completly unharmed, that there would be lasting damage, the only thing unclear how critical it would be. What seemed to be for sure was, that his brother would loose the one thing he had lived for all these years: Singing his words to all those people out there, stepping into the glowing lights of a stage. Biting his lip hard Zack starred at Tylers smiling face, seperated by the crack in the glass, gently whispering a „Sorry! I'm so sorry!“


	17. Chapter 17

There was no way what she did was sane, still Jenna found no other go to, when she had locked herself into the bedroom, told them all she needed to be alone now. For a while she had just sat there, on the bed, starring into nothing, her mind blank with fear, until she couldn't cope that way anymore. Her gaze had fallen on his suitcases, the few personal things the police had gathered from the crashside, and feeling sick in her guts Jenna had tapped over to them, sunk to her knees and pulled them appart, then shed her clothes and put on his. Tyler shirt, his floral kimono, his Jeans...everything that once had held his scent seemed now clinical, renewed...Jenna knew Laura and Kelly had have no bad intentions washing them, they had been dirty and there was a rip in the flower printed coat, still she wished they wouldn't have done so. Searching blindly through his belongings the blonde was desperate to find something his heart was linked to, something that could trace him to her, when her fingertips hit the routh material of another suitcase, a different shaped but massive one. Her husband kept all his instruments safe, but there were two he took most caution on. Tylers ukulele and his small travel-keyboard had gone through the crash unharmed. It was kind of ironic that they didn't get a scratch, while he himself was shattered, and still...it gave her hope in a way. Starting to unzip the shell Jenna took parts of his soul with her when she lay down again, pressing keys and strings close to her chest, wishing his melody hadn't yet stopped.

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Washing his hands, foam squeezing out between his fingers Josh was paralyzed by the De-Ja-Vue moment. This time his fingers kept clean, but his skin still felt dirty, and so he rubbed and rubbed, well aware that Dr. Carson was watching him. The younger doctor had held back a lot on this, had let Dr. May do the decissions, and the drummer felt like it was safe to ask for this second opinion. Shifting his attention he bit his lip and gave an „Am I doing this right?“ only to earn a smile from the other. „We both know what this is all about, so just spill.“ Ken answered, grabbing a paper towel and drying his hands. Mimicking him Josh sighed and decide to go for it. „Ok...will he die?“ „Most likely...yes. Sooner or later. But...“ handing the younger a mask Dr. Carson adjusted his around his neck, ready to use when he needed it, „I would have said the same about the girl too if you'd ask a few days earlier.“ „So there IS a chance?“ „Definitly yes. Trauma-medicine is a very dificil field, Mr. Dun. If I'm completly honest with you, we all do our best, but most of the time we don't even know why our patients live or die.“

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The day was strangely warm and calm, an utopic atmosphere, Mark found, as he watched two pigeons picking up whatever they could find. The videographer didn't consider himself as all too young anymore, still he had never thought about how it would end, in which way he'd wanted to slip out of life. Closing his eyes as the suns rays hit him, Mark leaned back and hummed, a baseline he unconsciously combined to this moment, and began to fantasize about his death.

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Closing the messenger App Brendon did a deep sigh and ran his hands over his face, while he heared the door being opened carefully and his wife slipping into the room. Sarah approached the sitting singer and layed her hands on his shoulders, gently massaging the tense muscles there. „Everything alright?“ she asked, planting a kiss on his head that he gratefully took, leaning his head in his neck and looking up to her. „No, not really...but Brad is asleep now at least. Wore him down.“ Slipping around him and crawling into his lap, her hands linking around his neck, Sarah kissed her husband, soft little pecks all over his face, eclecting a laugh out of him, before she eyed him seriously again. „That's not all, isn't it?“ Running his hands up and down her back Brendon did another deep sigh. „No...Tyler will maybe die tonight. Or wake up. We'll see.“ Knowing him better then anyone Sarah got up then, ruffled his hair, heading towards their kitchen. „You want a drink?“ she asked, nontheless she did already know the answer and he just nodded, absently starring into space. Once she had left the room Brendon got up, walked over to his soundsystem and flicked through his endless playlist, until he found what he was looking for. Singing along with Tylers voice Brendon hoped their friend would take his own words for granted and stay alive.

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„Could you please stop that?“ Laura hissed at her son, feeling bad about it the moment the words left her mouth. Still Jordan stopping the constant wiggling of his foot made her more calm, so she spared herself the appologize. Tilting her head at her mother Ashley sipped from her tea, observing how Laura had gribbed her husbands hand thight enough to let her knuckles go white. None of them dared to speak, as none of them wanted to be the one wrapping their fears into words, but they all had the same thoughts. It was her brother who couldn't stand it anymore in the end and got up to switch on the radio, so the silence would be filled. Whincing Jordan damned himself for doing so as „Tear in my heart“ came on.

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He stood still, couldn't go any further anymore. Tyler was drained, tired of it all, tired of himself. While climbing on and on he had felt like getting no where, like redoing the same step over and over again, with no outcome at all. The first time since Sandra had left he thought about giving up, just letting go, and ensueing himself to his fate, as it seemed pointless to fight when there was noone there to urge him to do so. Still his fingers clinged to the cold stone, slowly slipping off, the split of an inch ever minute. It wouldn't be long till the uninventable would happen, and closing his eyes he leaned his front against the wall, letting all the memories he could get a hold of pass by. His mum, always supporting him, no matter how strange and frightning his behaviour might have been. His dad, the silent reassurance, just patting his back whenever he needed the encouragement. Zack, Maddy, Jay, the way they had fit together so perfectly, the love they had shared and the deep respect they expressed towards him. Jenna, her flawless, beautiful features, the soft skin under his hands and lips, the pride and joy and soulfulness she had brought. Joshua...the other part of his soul, the boy who had helped him to reach his goals, to make his dreams real, who had been there all the way from the smallest stage to the biggest. Running out of tears Tyler felt the blue suns warmth decrease, as it started to perish. Taking what he thought of was his last breath he said goodby to everyone and settled on waiting for his death.

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Nodding towards the young man beside his patient Dr. May started to explain. „OK...we'll start now. I will slowly insert different chemicals into his system, that should trigger him to have a reaction. Your job is to talk to him and be there, so he may have an additional stimulus to react to. Ready?“ Not looking at him Josh nodded, feeling the quite opposite of ready inside, still he settled beside Tylers head, slipping his one hand in the youngers neck cautiously, while his other clasped the long, delicate fingers of the singer. Dr. Carson stood a bit aside, watching the scene, curious on what would happen now. Placing the syrenge on his patients arm Dr. May inhaled deeply, gave Josh a last encouraging smile. Although he found it complety strange the drummer started to talk then, whatever came to his mind. „Hey, Ty...I know this might be real hard for you right now...I know you might be tired and worn out...but we'll give you something that will help you. I...I just need you to try to open your eyes, ok, or..or squeeze my hand or something. I just need to know you are there...and I promise...this time I won't leave you...“ His fingers tightly closed around his best friends he hoped he would be cause enough for Tyler to come back to.

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Embracing his wife from behind Chris placed a kiss right beside her ear before he propped his chin on her shoulder and followed her line of sight. The mass of people in the parking lot hadn't changed, if something they had gotten quieter. It seemed like they all knew what was happening, without being filled in on the details, they had just been asked to pray again, by Brad and Jill and various friends of Tyler. Letting her head rest on his shoulder Kelly did a shaky breath, glad about the warmth and closeness he provided. Her perception snapped back to the fans though, when she realised they weren't as soundless as she had thought, when she realised they were singing, so much voices aligned, tangled into each other. It was one of her sons older songs, but it didn't matter, what mattered was that they raised their voices, in his honour, for him to be guided home.

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Softly streaking her sisters hair Jill smiled when the corner of Sandras lips twitched in her sleep. The younger hadn't been awake longer then a few seconds, was slipping into unconsciosness again after, but it was visible that this was a real sleep, not the deep coma she had been in before. Her lids were fluttering from time to time and she seemed to talk, to dream. Jill wondered what her visions were about, if it were nightmares or good ones. Her parents had went to check up with some relatives and „Wait for the Josephs to need us.“ they declared and Jill was so thankfull that her father had finally warmed up to Tylers family. She couldn't tell why, but she felt like it was important, even more now that Sandras first words had been about him, which was impressive, as everyone was sure the girl couldn't know about him being injured too. Somehow Jill felt like he was the cause why her sister was still there, why she had came back, and so she wished nothing more then for him to wake up too.

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With the darkness surrounding him Tyler gave in. He felt his one hand slip then the other, and stretched out his arms as he was falling, away from the wall, away from the surface, back into the land of no return. He prayed hard that the impact wouldn't hurt, that he would just fade, as a sudden jolt ripped through him, stopped his free fall. Tyler felt like flying, floating through the air, in which direction he couldn't tell, as there was no upside and no down anymore. There were no pain, no fear, out of sudden there was only one emotion left, and it engulfed everything, his whole being: unconditional love. Something warm was in his neck, streaking his skin lightly, the same motion on his wrist, a familiar touch, felt a hundreth times before, but never as conscious as he felt it now. Tyler wanted to yell, to ask them to please help him, but he was muted again, his throat to useless to complain. Another jerk went through his body, something cold running through his veins, then something hot, then cold, then hot again. His blood seemed to boil in an invisible fire, sending impulses of energy into his brain. Openning his mouth a little Tyler felt it easier to breath suddenly, a weight lifting off his chest, the fog in his head clearing. Flexing his fingers he gripped onto the warmth around his wrist.

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„...nearly there buddy. Come on...I know you're in there Tyler...I can feel it...I know you're not gone...so please...please do anything...just anything to tell me you're alive.“ Josh was crying at this point, not caring anymore who listened or saw. Dr. May looked concerned and he knew what that meant, that things didn't seem to go all too well, that the last chance his best friend had might pass by unused. Tear after tear hit his hand and ran down his fingers, resuming their way on Tylers, before they were soaked into the blankets under him. Raising his eyes to the younger doctor, who still stood by the door, ready to jump in if needed, the drummer pushed out what he thought, as much as it hurted his soul. „He's not reacting, isn't he? This...this is useless...he will die...“. Carson opened his mouth, wanted to answer, to say the words he didn't want to hear, and Josh held his gaze, his pupils suddenly widening as he felt something, a small movement just, not more as a light pressure against his skin. Looking down immediatly he thought it had been a dream, but the motion returned, so he squeezed his best friends hand harder, sending words of hope. „Tyler? Ty? Can you hear me? Are you there?“ And Tyler squeezed back.

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It was another kind of darkness, a strangely soothing one. Sandra knew she was sleeping, her body resting from the strain of being awake those few moments, and she waited patiently for this episode to pass. It was essential to gather strength, so she could do more next time she woke up...more then just push out his name and that he needed help. She needed to find Tyler, to know if he was awake too, needed to tell the people who took care of him that he wasn't hopeless, as she herself hadn't been. For now, all she could do was lay there motionless and wait for the time to pass.

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„Ok...we got some brain activity...that's nice! How's the breathing?“ Dr. Carson asked in a controlled voice, that didn't mirror his insides, that were twisting and turning in a mixture of joy and fear. „Shallow but there. I'm removing the tubus now.“ Gesturing the nurse to have the oxygene mask ready Dr. May pulled the long, plastic tube out of Tylers throat, giving the boy on his patients side a quick glance. Josh was shaken to his core, crying and shuddering wildly, obviously not able to grasp what was going on right now. „You've done well...your friend here has gotten to the surface...we'll let him rest now for a bit before we do the next step.“ Gulping hard the drummer still clasped Tylers hand in his, hoping for another squeeze, another move of his fingers, but the singer had gone still again, the only thing indicating that something had changed the way the doctors reacted. „But...he...he moved...he...I felt it!“ Josh studdered, helpless and confused, glad as a soothing hand was layed on his shoulder. Shannon smiled warmly at him and gently nudged him aside a bit, so Dr. May could work better. „It's ok, Joshua, we believe you! But you must understand, Tyler can't wake up fully in an instant. It's a miracle that he even was able to react physically, we haven't expected that at all! We need to give him time now, only slow steps. Dr. Carson will give him a sedative now, so we keep his brain asleep for a little longer, until his breathing has stabled and we get solid outcomes of the EEG. Then we'll decide what the next thing will be for him.“ Nodding absently Josh let his fingers be removed, the hard grip he held on Tyler been softened by the nurse, as she led him away from his friend while the doctors took care of the singer. „You did a great job! And I think you should rest now too. You can't help Tyler more then you already did. But you could do ME a favour and tell his parents he's back. I'm sure they will aprecciate hearing that from you.“

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Waking up all sweaty from a more then weired dream Brad needed a few seconds to find back to himself again, before he learned that his phone still lay beside him in the position it had been when he fell asleep. Brendon had done his best to talk to him until his exhaustion took him away and Brad was deeply thankfull the older had done. He did feel a little better now, not so under pressure anymore, and yawning he rolled to the side, standing up to learn what had happened to Tyler.

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The moment their gazes crossed Kelly broke down. Joshs eyes were redrimmed, he looked way older then he was, still the smile on his lips couldn't betray her. Sinking to her knees, only not crashing into the ground as Chris supported her she started to cry, murmuring „Thank you! I thank you so much lord!“ over and over, being lifted by two pairs of strong arms and set into a chair. Not letting the drummer back up she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing him close to her, and both of them shared the moment, their hearts beating aligned. Chris stood aside a little helpless, not sure what to make out of it, and finally found the words to ask. „So he....“ not daring to speak the full sentence Tylers father looked down on them and Josh smiled, even wider now. „Yes. There was a reaction. He squeezed my hand...only lightly and only once or twice...but they said it's a miracle he did at all. They won't wake him fully though, Dr. May says he still needs time to adjust to coming back and rest, but...he's there...god, Kelly...HE'S THERE!“ Shouting out his joy Josh grabbed his best friends mother and smacked a kiss right on her lips, accomponied by her relieved laugh.

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It was dark again, but a different kind of darkness. Soothing, warm, secure. Tyler felt that something fundamental had changed, that he was on the surface, not longer deep inside of his mind. His body felt strange though, as if it had been stitched together, no pain yet, but the realisation that some things were off. He hadn't expected less, given what had happened, and it was hard for him to wait until he could gain control and test out how damaged he really was. For now he had to rest, Tyler understood that, it was what his physic told him and what the voices had said. There had been four of them, all different, but one had sounded so familiar that he instantly felt home. It had faded while the other three had stayed with him for a while, exchanging sentences he yet did not fully understood, but could file at least. They had to be doctors or nurses, they had talked about oxygen and medics another sign that he was back into reality. Breathing even and deeply Tyler felt content, at peace, and slipped into a warm dream full of silk skin, loving touches and blue eyes that made his heart tingle.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the nice comments. It means a lot to me, especially atm! Hope you still like this Story and stick around, it's not done yet....

Patience had never been a virtue Sandra had fullfilled, and it was the hardest part in this for her right then. The process was slow, too slow for her liking, even more as she couldn't meassure the time that it took her to get to the surface and stay there, after everytime she sunk back into the blackness. In the end, things were changing though. Reduced to the sense of hearing the girl had not been able to open her eyes again for a while, but she had learned to focus, to get the conversations around her, the hushed, quick words, exchanged by people she didn't know, the few, but emotionfull lead by her family. Only fragments of words first, they slowly started to make sense. Sandras heart had been full of sadness as she had learned that her mother still feared for her, and she hadn't been able to do anything to soothe that fear. Not yet. Lying in the darkness Sandra sighed, gave it another try. It was hard to focus all energy she could find at her front, push herself out of her head and open her eyes, but this time it worked, and her lids fluttered open, fell closed again, but lastly rose, her sight blurry, the surroundings too bright. It cost so much strength to turn her head a little, to the point where gravity helped and let it fall aside, and she nearly slipped away again, but clinged on to counciousness as hard as she could. For a long while Sandra stayed like this, deep breaths counting her minutes, while the world around her slowly began to clear up. It was a complete different kind of reality, and it wasn't an ounce less frightning to her then the train had been. Her bed was metal-framed, barrs around her to keep her body in place, should she roll over. A sting in her arm, a cold, alien subject inserted in her veins. There was a tube lying beside her, a golden liquid running through. Nothing in here was warm, familiar, secure. The exhaution dragged at her mind again, and Sandra knew she'd soon fall asleep again, so she tried to use the last moments to do a survey of what was left of her, pleased to be able to move a hand, with greatest strain, then the other. Already breaking away she tried to wiggle her toes, her perception fading, when something strange made her alert. There was an anomaly, one she couldn't name. Something wasn't right, but the she lacked the strength to think about.

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„When can I take him home?“ „Mrs. Joseph, with all due respect...it isn't that easy!“ Grabbing her bag thigther Jenna ignored how Josh stepped behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders in attempt to soothe her a bit. The blondes' fever had finally gone two days before, and with Tylers status improving there was no way to keep her away from her husband any longer. Still Dr. Carson had persisted on a talk before she got to see him, and the drummer dawned more and more why. „See...“ leaning foreward in his seat, folding his hands the doctor tried to give his patients wife a smile, but his tired features betrayed him. „Tyler is on the surface, but he is not awake yet. We kept him mostly asleep, so we could slowly test his functions. If you want so, he was totally concious for maybe three seconds in the past nine days. This is a progress, Mrs. Joseph. We can't speed that up in any way, we have to stick with the pace he's setting. And in this status I can't approve him to travel.“ Inhaling sharply Jenna looked to the earth, feeling the pressure of Joshs thumbs, slowly drawing circles in her neck, grounding her. „How long will it take?“ she asked, her voice wavering a bit. She was tired of the hallways and the coffe dispensers, the smell of disinfection and death, tired of waiting for things to get better. „Well...like I said it depends on how Tyler's improving. For now, from the actual standpoint, I'd say...about a year, two maybe?“

The gentle touch changed into a more pressuring one when Jenna wanted to shoot up, but was held down a little by the drummers presence, sorrowed about her as she still felt dizzy sometimes. „But...he's not in coma anymore! I get he needs to recover, but...he's up! You don't know him, once he's strong enough Tyler will do all he can to get up as fast as possible! He has an incredible work ethic...if he wants something he get's it.“ Josh knew what the doctor was going to say before he opened his mouth, the look they exchanged was a story itself. „The problem in all this is, that we don't know anything about his mental state.“ Taking a deep breath Dr. Carson decided that like so often the harsh truth was the best way to get across what he had to tell relatives. „It's possible Tyler took away some serious brain damages from this. It's possible he has slight problems with various things, like maybe he'll see not that good anymore, or hear...if the center of speach was damaged he may stubble. Control of body functions...another thing that can fail after a serious damage, as well as control of movements. He even might have a full change of character. He could be aggressive, or depressed, we don't know. We need time to find all that out and see if we can help him to get back to his old self again...or if we need to learn him how to live with his new one.“

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Placing his last shirts in the bag Zack zipped it up and placed it beside the backpack on the floor, when he recognised his father leaning in the doorframe. Not even trying to avoid the confrontation he folded his arms before his chest and tilted his head, signalising the older to start. „You're leaving then?“ Chris took the invetation, driven by a mixture of sorrow and anger, that he hadn't felt in a while, that still was familiar, as if it had found a second home in him. „Yap. I don't think I'm needed over here. But Maddie and Jay might need me at home. I guess ya'll going to stay here for a while.“ Pushing himself off the frame the older walked into the room, took place at the bed and sighed. It had been years he had talked with one of his sons on this level. After they both had married Chris had stepped back big time, had realised they now were for real adults, grown men, capable of caring for themselves and their future families. Things hadn't always been like that, naturally, as his boys hadn't been the easiest teens. Open rebellion had never been a problem in their house, but Tyler and Zack did have had their own ways of being disobediant in that age, also Chris could remember nearly too well how the younger always had hurted on the things that tornmented his older brother too. „You're running.“ „I'm not. I'm just not willing to watch him suffer.“ „Then why did you came at all?“ Chris hadn't meant to sound so cold, still he didn't give an apology, seeing the words sink into his kid, calling him out. „What do you want to say with that?“ Zack asked, his chin slightly trembling, as he tried to contain his cool. „It's just an honest question. Zack...I appreciate you being honest about your feelings. But...it does dissapoint me how easy you give up on him. Still...I respect your opinion, because it's not my place to tell you what to think anymore. The thing is...you're hurting your mother, you're hurting Jenna, and various other people with the way you act. You're hurting ME. I'm glad you're leaving on your own, so I don't have to ask you to. You're right...around here, you're not needed, not with that negative energy. But I need you to take care of the kiddos. And I need you to take care of yourself.“ Standing up Chris surprised his son with pulling him close, pressing him against his chest. „Zack...I'll pray that you find hope again, that you learn to trust god again. And I think a few miles between you and all of this might be just the right thing for that.“

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The dark lasted, and he couldn't travel in it. Tyler felt bound, grounded, and he hated nothing more then this inability to move. Still he tried not to panic, as, on the other hand, he recognised well that this was more real then the dessert, that he was inhabitant of his body now. So he kept still and focused on getting better, on instructing his mind, counting his breaths. The changes between sleep and the strange kind of being awake were to fleeting to controll them, but he gracefully took every oportunity his mind gave him to learn where he was, what was happening around him. Sometimes there were voices, coming and going, he couldn't differe them though, they floated together in layers, words tangled into each other, sometimes he felt someone, hands touching him, on various parts of his body. It was uncomfortable and he wanted them to stop, but was cursed to accept them, and they brought no harm. Time had no significance, he couldn't tell if it was days or a year he spent like this, and in the end, it didn't matter. The only thing of importance was that something began to change, every time he became more aware, everytime the darkness took a step back and noises, smells, visions of colours filled him. It became easier, with every small ounce of perception, and so he wasn't surprised when the fog in his mind retreated again and he could make out the words the person beside him gave. Tyler needed all his will to concentrate, and his heart started to race, as he understood, the first time since this nightmare had happened, truely understood another human voice.

„...doing really good, Tyler. Dr. Carson said your wife is allowed to visit you again, she'll be here shortly.“ Slipping on her gloves Shannon sighed when she pulled back the blankets and dipped the washcloath into the warm water she had primed, starting to clean her patients body. The nurse was used to this, and had enough experience to know that maybe the young man was aware of her actions, so she kept talking, not expecting an answer though. Carefully running the cloath down his chest she wondered about the tattoos inked there, one of them appearing like an hourglass, the other like a cross. „I'll hurry with this, ok? I know you might not be all too comfortable with me doing this, but just you know, I don't care at all. It's necessary. We don't want your girl to find you all sweaty and gross, don't we, sweety?“ Resuming to clean his sides Shannon checked clinical for signs his skin was sour, patients like him had to be turned occosionally to prevent open spots. „You know you impressed a lot of people here. You're a real fighter, aren't you? And the people around you...it's like...I don't even need to really know you to tell what kind of soul you are.“ Refreshing the cloath Shannon scanned her patients face for signs of uncomfortableness or any other reaction possible, sighing again as there was none. „Alright, let's get to the funny part. Well...for me, at least.“ Winking at his motionless face Shannon pulled the covers further down and resumed her work, not recognising the slight blush on her patients face.

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„...the stars fell down, but their love, it never ended.“ Closing the tab on her phone Jill looked up and shook her head. „Jeez, that was a dramatic one! I'll never get why you're so into that fanfic crap, I mean...now that I know them I've got an even harder time to think about them like that!“ Turning towards her sister the girl wanted to rant on, not expecting Sandra starring back at her, her brown eyes wide blown, her front crinkled. A yelp escaped the olders lips and she rushed closer, gripping her sisters hand, instantly crying as Sandras eyes followed her, seemed to adjust. „Sandy? Fuck, you...you're awake! Finally! O baby, oh...“ stumbling over her own voice Jill couldn't hold back on embracing the other, as carefully as her emotions allowed. She stilled though and slowly rose her head as a shaky, uncontolled had came to ly on her hair and stroked it before it fell back to the matrace. Crossing their gazes Jill found her little sister smiling at her, calm radiating from her face, and she sat up, her fingers grabbing on Sandras hand. There were a few minutes of silence before the girl started to move, licked her lips, slowly parted them, a rasp, unsteady voice breaking through. „H..Hey there!“ Sandra whispered, her own eyes getting wet as well, her clamp fingers squeezing Jills lightly. „You've got no idea how happy I am to hear your stupid stubborn voice!“ the older exclamed, laughing through her tears, watching carefully as Sandra closed her eyes for a second to regain strength. „Need...to talk...“ she pushed out, once she found enough to do so, desperatly trying to get her message across, although she felt the tiredness returning and wanting to take her away. Jill leaned in closer so she hadn't to push herself so much, encouraged her to go on. „I'm hear. I listen. What's it?“ Moisturing her chapped lips again Sandra breathed deeply, a slight pain awaking in her left leg. „T..Tyler...you...do you...know...“ The pain started to increase and she couldn't concentrate enough to end her sentence, had to wince, something that triggered the older into action, made Jill press the button for the nurse. „Shit, you're in pain, aren't you? Hold on, someone will be here soon...“ Not willing to give up Sandra shook her head slightly, tried to signal she wanted an answer to her qustion first, but was not able to get more across then a broken „T..Ty...“ before she fall back asleep again.

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„...and Snyder got an offer to tour with me and Panic!. Brendon really must have went full beast mode on them. I still can't believe he made all that happen!“ Zipping up his suitcase Brad turned to watch Mark blowing smoke out the window. He disliked that the videographer had taken up on his old bad habit again, but now wasn't the time to fight him about that. „You DO understand why I'm leaving, don't you?“ Sending another circle of smoke into the afternoon air Mark shrugged. „Yeah. You kind of need to. We own Brendon that much.“ „Exactly. And he made sure you and everyone else who didn't get asigned to one of Fueled's other bands will still get their payment, as long as we others work well.“ Killing his cigarette on the outside window sill and flicking it down on the street Mark stretched his arms and let his joints popp. „You don't need to render an account to me. I get it.“ Looking down on his feet Brad felt caught. He knew it didn't matter that much if he stayed around or not, now that Tyler had woken up he wasn't necessarily needed anymore, still he had a hard time to turn his back and leave the town. It felt too much like an „after“ then a „return“ and it was more then a simple goodby on time. What was for sure was that the crew, that had spent months together, had been ripped appart by that accident in days and weeks, and that they all had felt lost on it. Tours came to an end, eventually, but these ends were smooth, held the promise of an getting together later in life again. The way Twentyone Pilots crew ended, exhibited not that much hope. All of them would still have jobs, for as long as they wanted, that was what their friend had accomplished. But none of them knew if they ever would work for the two people that had picked them up in the dust and brought them where they were now.

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Clinging to each other Laura and Kelly did a silent conversation while nearly everyone around them got ready to leave. The both mothers had become closer over all those years, over the waiting for phone calls or a letter from their boys. They had shared the same fears, always had been grateful their sons weren't out there alone, had each other, just like they had another all the way through. Both of them knew exactly it could have been the other way around, and so they shared the same relief in this moment that made them both cry. „Take care for me of my boy!“ Laura whispered, when she pulled back finally, following Kellys motion when she nodded her head towards Zack, who was saying goodby to his father. „You too. I'd never let him go if it wasn't for you and Bill being back in Columbus.“ „He'll be fine. Maddy and Jay need him right now, and Zack knows that. He has never shied away from responsibility, and he won't dissapoint you now!“ Letting her gaze linger on the ground between them Kelly huffed, but knew the other was right, as hard as it was to believe for her after her sons reaction on Tylers status. „Plus there are a few other people that promised to check up on him. Joel, Michael, David...they all will be there. Don't worry about your kids, Kelly...just look at Tyler, see what a fighter you have raised. And at all those people who are around, ready to give your family the love back that you spread all those years.“ 

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Streaking her hair back behind her ears nervously Jenna checked her appeareance in the mirror again. It was ridiculous to act like a highschool girl on her first date, even more given the fact that her outfit was the usual hospital-gown, still she was pedantic about her appeareance. Taking a deep breath the blonde fixed herself in the mirror, grabbing the sink in front of her hard with both hands, holding her own gaze, although it was hard to do. She looked horrible, Jenna observed. Her eyes were swollen, her cheeks hollowed, the fever had taken a lot out of her. This wasn't how she wanted him to see her, and still, it was the undenieable truth, she had aged years in only weeks of time, and felt as if her bones had grown old too. Sighing she turned away and headed for the door, getting ready to see him, hoping to find the men she had known. It was silent in the corridor, it was late too, and Jenna slipped along in quiet, her feet set thoughtfully, until she reached the door to his room. Biting her lip she assambled all weapons she could find and fought down her fear, before she pulled the handle and entered the room, stepped towards the bed enthusiastic. The scene waiting for her hadn't changed that much, still significant. Tyler was still a slave of technology, most of his body functions failing, but the breathing ventilator was gone, leaving more space for the constant peep that transformed the beating of his heart.

There had grown some little hair back on his head, only a shadow, still she liked it more right away, a lot more then the clinical shaven skin that had been shown there before. It felt wrong to sit down on the chair beside him, much better to slip onto the bed, close to him, letting her palm rest on his chest, feeling his lungs fill and deflate. This was him, this was Tylers own breath and Jenna felt tears flowing up her eyes on the subtle change that did change so much in the end. Her tears hit his chest and rolled down, connecting them in a way, and leaning in she couldn't resist to press her ear to his heart, hear it's sound right from his body, not through the monitor beside of him. He was still cold, but somehow radiated life, and Jenna took it in, with every rise and fall her head did alongside his breath. She could feel his ribs, his body worn out and boney, Tyler hadn't been at his best weight before the crash, as usual when he was on tour, but now it seemed there were only skin and bones left, still she welcomed how she sunk into his form, her body finding a familiar place against his. Staying like this for a while Jenna nearly fell asleep, when a change in the constant drum on her ear alerted her senses, made her sit up a bit, watching his face. A line had appeared on his forehead, just as if he were thinking deeply, and his lashes fluttered, only a bit, but enough to make her hold her breath. First, Jenna thought her imagination was playing tricks at her, but soon she realised that he DID move his head, a bit only, a slighty confused motion, as if he where figthing to open his eyes. Throwing all caution into the wind she crawled in his lap, sat up, her hands on both sides of his face, gaze concentrated on every little change in his features. „Ty?“ she asked, her voice shaking just as much as the rest of her, her hopeful undertone giving her a warm ambient. „Tyler? Baby? Can you hear me?“ Jenna had been prepared for the moment someone would tell her that he was gone, that he had lost the battle. What she learned now was that she wasn't prepared to this, to his eyes slowly opening, his pupils unfocused for a moment, before they seemed to adjust. He blinked, like in slow motion, one, two times, before he was really able to see, and as his gaze hit her, his lips twitched into a smile, the movement seeming strange, taking too much energy out of him. Although she could see sleep taking him over in seconds again, Tyler seemed to recognise her, and his mouth parted, formed words. Starring down at him in shock, Jennas heart was frozen, splattered into a thousand pieces as she watched him trying to talk, trying to give her words, but although his lips were moving, there was no sound.


	19. Chapter 19

@twentyonepilots Dear frens…as you all have learned from recent tweets of ppl around us, Tyler woke up a few days ago. He’s well, regarding the circumstances. We can’t even express how grateful we are for everything you’ve done for us in the past weeks, for the prayers, the get well wishes, the way you took care of each other, when we couldn’t be there for you. Know that we’re endlessly proud of you. And because you prooved us how strong the clique has become over all of this, our hearts aren’t that heavy, as we have to tell you that our band will be on a hiatus for unsettled time. Tyler has a long path to go, and as much as we understand you’ll miss us and desperatly want to know what exactly is going on, we ask you to respect his privacy. We ocosionally will inform you on his process, but right now we ask you for sympathy, as we’re not going to give out further informations. We need to recover from this, and there’s only one thing for sure, it’s not going to be easy. So please let us rest. We love you. This is not a goodby. Tyler & Josh

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„We do understand that, Joshua. But...with all due respect to Tyler...you need to think of your own future too. And this option is one of the greatest you'll ever get! =Funeral for an obsession= will be one oft he hottest bands this year, and with their drummer braking his arm, it's YOUR chance. We both know exactly they won't take him back in once they got THE Josh Dun!“ Feeling tears of anger rising Josh withstand the urge to hit the wall with his fist, or better, his phone. When his manager had called, he had expected him to ask for Tyler, to talk to him what they had planned to do with twentyone pilots, once he was back on track. The guy had asked him how the singer was first, to be fair. But soonly after he had started to try to lur the drummer into agreeing to a contract, Josh knew he never could. „I'm not playing for other people! I play soley for Tyler, you know that!“ he gave strained. There was a sigh at the other end of the line and a short silence, before the other started to talk again. „Josh, listen...I know this might seem heartless to you...but...this is my job! You hired me to advise you about what is the best for you in terms of your future in the industry...and I get payed enough to be honest, so I will, ok? I'm sorry that Tylers carrer will end this way, but it undoubtly will. Even if he recovers from that, we both know it's going to take him years to be in the charts again. The industry is built on solid content these days. Last time you guys ignored that and went on hiatus for a year, you lost tons of =fans=. You were still going strong, that's why the label didn't push you out of it, but...this is different. You won't be in the studio, on stage, on the road, in the relevant magazines for years! And once you come back...maybe there will be noone left remembering who the two of you even were! You're not the Red hot Chillipeppers, or the Stones. You are too new to the music world to be unforgotten. And if you decide to wait for him...this will be your end too.“

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Cutting the line and putting the phone down Michael leaned foreward and ran his hands over his face. He was too deep in thought to hear his wife sneaking up on him and jumped a little as she slid her arms around him, but relaxed into her embrace instantly. „How is he?“ she aksed, while kissing his ear gently, and he closed his eyes for a second to thank god for her presence. „He's awake. He seems to recognise Jenna. But...he appearently can't speak.“ Slipping around him and into his lap she faced him now, her features mirroring her concern. „Is this permanent?“ Leaning his front on her shoulder in a moment of defeat Micheal sighed. „They don't know...but...if it is...Zack was maybe right, and he would be better of dead.“

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Sandra had woken up to the nurse this time, the transition becoming easier and easier. The downside was, the feeling for her body came back too. The girl was thankfull that the women took care of the pain that flooded her systems, added a shot to her infusion and smiled at her, her hand lingering on Sandras shoulder. „There you go sweety. Should be better right away.“ Nodding lightly the girl spared her breath for the question that tornmented her so deeply, and waited until she felt like she had the full attention of the nurse before she spoke, chapped and unrythmic, but way stronger then the last time. „T..Tyler...is he...where...“ Cocking her head Shannon looked down on her, whispering a „Fascinating!“ before she took her hand and spoke up. „He's fine, Sandra, don't worry. He woke up just an hour ago and smiled at his wife. You've done a great job with sending us to pull him up.“ Seeing the girls pupils widen Shannon recognised how she tried to get up, but miserably failed, her shoulders only rising a few inches, before exhaustion send her back. „Shhhh, it's alright, breath, slowly.“ the nurse commanded and waited for the girl to calm down, knowing she was on the brink of sleep again, the action too much for her resting system to take. „I need...want...to see him...“ Biting her lip Shannon cursed inwardly, hating that she had to be the one to tell the girl the bad news. They were all trained on that, still the nurse preferred it when the doctors told patients about unrepearable damages to their bodies, this time even more. „That's not so easy, sweatheart. You still need to recover, and you're stump needs to fully heal first.“ Picking the bluntest of options Shannon knew there was no good way to tell such a young girl this and somehow hoped Sandra wouldn't get it, fall asleep, but learned the girl was bright, more then she should have been in her status. Looking up at her confused for a moment, she pushed herself up with all she had, just enough to rise halfway, and out of reaction the nurse stabled her so she didn't fall back too hard. Having a view of her body now Sandra let her gaze glide down, her sight adjusting slowly, until it hit a void, where skin and bones had been. All that was left of her foot was a short stump, wrapped in bandages, tubes attached to it, and opening her mouth to a scream she fell back and blacked out.

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The darkness was a good friend by now, better as what waited on the other side at least, still Tyler pushed through it and tried to surface. By now he could differe the touches, even as they were numbed, he supposed it were the medication running through his veins. Right now the soft, lovingly streak on his temple told him Jenna was back, she probably hadn't been gone for long, still it seemed like ages to him. He had cried, inside of his shell, when she had told him she had to leave him for a bit, get herself changed, do some talk to the doctor, had been ashamed of being so needy, so dependend on her presence. But, with his spirit caught in the cage of his dysfunctional body, he had nothing left then her and the warmth she radiated, and Tyler wished she would spent every single moment with him now. Not opening his eyes right away he rationed his strength, took a few more breaths before he opened his lids, his gaze setting on her face. Tyler still wasn't able to focus for long, but his vision got clearer with everytime, defined enough to catch the lines on her perfect face. Knowing he was the cause for them he wanted to raise his hand and cup her cheek, but lacked the control. Jenna watched how he bit his lip in frustration, tilted her head and then took his hand, placing it just where he had wanted it to go, an unspoken understanding between them. Smiling she tried to hide her tremble, but couldn't and it didn't matter. They both were wounded, vulnerable, there was no cause in setting up masks. „Hey baby!“ she whispered, as if fearing to hurt his ears if she spoke out louder. Pushing her cheek a bit more into his hand she closed her eyes for a second and sighed, then looked at him again.

„I've talked to the doctor. He says you're doing fine...so fine, Ty! There seeme to be no neurological damage aside from...“ Feeling his fingers twitch on her skin Jenna took his hand in hers and lowered it, playing with his digits. „They don't know if it's permanent that you can't speak. Dr. Carson will come by later and take a look at your vocal chords, but he says they shouldn't be damaged at all. It's probably more a...psychological problem. Like...You need to give yourself time, Ty.“ Breaking their eye contact Jenna observed the state of the scars on his body, how they healed and slowly faded a bit, turning into a part of him. A tug on her hand made her look back at him again, and she found him crying, silent tears flowing down his face, his eyes tiredly lowered already, still he seemed to find the energy to repeat the motion. Her breath hitching Jenna leaned down on his level, studied his gaze from close and was surprised when he leaned up a bit and kissed her. Closing his eyes, pushing down his fears, Tyler felt life filling his veins when their lips moved together, when he came home, to the safeplace she was creating whenever she granted him to be close to her.

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Waving at her, Clay motioned Jill to leave her sisters room and meet him in the hallway. The girl obeyed with a crinkled front, slipping through the door and starting to talk immediatly. „Dad, why don’t you just come in, she could wake up again every minute!“ „If we will be right here, but I gotta talk to you.“ Mrs. Banks replied, sighing under his breath. He hated to bring this up, but slowly the world around them began to spin again. In a few days he would go back to his work, no matter how much the Josephs had insisted on him staying, as his boss had told him he’d only accept so much of off-days, and Sandras father didn’t want to jeopardize 2his job. They all had to do a step forewards, towards living again, and Jill was no exception. „Listen…your colleges principle called. He let me know that if you miss two weeks more in this semester, you’ll not have the clearance to pass class this year.“ Scoffing Jill turned towards the window and made sure that her sister was still aseep before she answered. „I don’t care about that.“ „I was afraid you would say that.“ Turning back towards him, her demanour clearly annoyed Jill didn’t mean to sound so hostile, but couldn’t keep herself from being so. „Don’t bring this up again, dad! This is completly different! Sandra needs me! Mum too! Who will take care oft hem when you’re away?“ Biting his tongue so not to fall into old patterns Clay closed his eyes for a second, then reached out his hand and pulled her a little closer, so he could slip his arm around her shoulder. „See, Jill…I get how hard it is to leave them here…noone get’s that better then me. But…don’t you think that’s what we own her? She definitly wouldn’t want to be the cause why you don’t pass class and I loose my job. Still…you’re getting 21 in two month. I will not be in charge of you forever. I won’t push you. If you decide to stay, I’ll accept.“ Rising her brow Jill watched him curious, remembering their fights over her teenage behaviours way too well. „Where does this change of mind come from?“ Feeling his grip thightning around her Jill grew closer to her father again whe he answered. „I could have lost you. You could be dead by now. There’s no matter if you go back to school soon or not. You’re alive. That’s all that matters to me. And I’ll support you, either way.“ 

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Checking the picture on the ID Card again the nurse tilted her head at the name on it. „I…can’t remember I’ve heared someone mention we’re getting new security up here!“ she finally stated and handed the card back to it’s owner assertivly. Smiling the man took it and clipped it to the chest pocket of his uniform again. „That’s possible, ah…what was your name again?“ „Deanna.“ „Wow, what a unique and beautiful one.“ Feeling her cheeks grow warm on the lovingly gaze the man gaver her the nurse shook her head a bit. „So…Deanna, you might have noticed the people out there in the parking lot. Last night one oft hem tried to creep up here, possibly to get a photo of your shootingstar of a patient. I was send here to make sure none of this idiots reached his goal.“ Considering to call for her supervisor Deanna decided that this was absolutly plausible. She had been bragged by fans of the singer every day when she left the hospital, asking her about how he was, if she had any information. It probably had just been a matter of time until one of them tried to find out himself. „Alright, so…“ sending him a playfull eyebash she straightened up a bit, „you’ll be around the hallways, I guess? You were filled in that you’re not allowed to entert he patients rooms?“ „Yes of course!“ he replied, smiling wildly at her, answering her, „See you around then!“ with a cocky nod of his head. Just when the nurse was out of ears reach the man released a deep breath and mumbled a „The hallways will be more then enough, babe!“ 

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„…most likely a neurological damage. Or a psychological trauma reaction. We’ll have to get him into an EEG tob e sure about that.“ Nodding in agreement Dr. May did some notes in his patients record. „Let’s hope for him it’s the latter. What else have you planned?“ Shrugging Kent took a brezel out oft he bowl in front o f him and bit off a piece. „The usual. The physical therapist will start today, he’ll see Tyler two times a day now and do some little exercises, as well as showing his wife how to do them until he can on his own. It’s important we get that going, his muscles will be atrophied, and it will take some time until we can get him up and going. Sandra on the other hand…“ taking a second bite Dr. Carson opened her file with an energetic flip, „has beent stable awake for a while now. I think we should get her on some meds and then get her up as fast as possible. She’ll need to learn how to live with the wheelchair first, but I’m very positive we can get her a prothesis pretty fast. Tyler’s wife is still determined to pay everything, she told me to ordert he best I can find.“ Shooting the older doctor a glance Ken found him thinking. It often occured Dr. May was lost in his head, when he found facts not quiet interesting enough to listen. „Did you know she was a dancer?“ the younger asked, watching curious how the others features changed and Dr. May focused again. „Oh, really? Like…ballet?“ „No, appearently more that modern dance thing teenagers do these days. My daughter went to a class for some time, but she quit after a half year…like she’s doing with everything!“ Smirking Dr. May followed the youngers lead and grabbed a brezel too. „Kids that age, hm?“ 

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The velvet darkness yielded and made room for the dreams, coming in patternst hat were too confused to predict. Tyler didn’t like them at all, as he couldn’t control them, and as they didn’t let him rest. There were too much noises, flavours, scents in the air around him when they came, and he couldn’t process the half of it. Some visions sticked clearer then others, like standind on the edge of a crowd of people, his legs trembling under him, hands holding his shins firm and secure, so he could rise above them. They had no faces, his brain didn’t fill the blank space between their ears, so they looked frigthning, although he knew they shouldn’t. It was just a lack of memory, they were too many for him to remind. Floating into another his dreams changed frequent. This one wasn’t so bad, standing in a room with dimmed light, with her, his wife’s eyes reflecting the little light around them when she looked up at him, her hands sliding around his neck, her lips curled to a smile. „I love you so much!“ she whispered and his heart exploded with light, because this was all he was living for. Her vvoice became an echo and her warmth faded away, a clinical kind of heat lingering on his skin now. Tyler rose his head to find a blue sun, and endless sand before him, and his heart started to race, as he paniced. Was he back into coma? Had his brain faded too deep? The picture seemed wrong though, and he stretched out his hand, a sudden „bloob“ making him jolt as a bubble burst in front of him. Freezing in his position, totally perplexed, he found a someone standing on the other side of his dream. Tyler could feel her name more then he could remind it, and the moment he got aware oft hat he grabbed that memory and pulled it to the surface, out of his sleep.

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Strolling through the park a little lost Mark wondered if he should have listened to Brad and take the labels offer to work. With everybody leaving the appartment had gone silent, aside of Josh, who wasn’t the best comapny these days. At least the drummer seemed not to be slightly suicidal anymore, he had changed into being the embodiement of anger. Josh couldn’t take the world moving around them, while his own stood still, and his anxiety was amplified. He had fired his manager and told everyone to not give out any information on Tyler, and of course they all had agreed. Mark knew him way too long though to not see throuch his demanour. Inside, Josh was scared to death, desperate on the knowglede Tyler couldn’t speak, and pushed everyone away in an attempt not to break. The videographer gave his friend the needed space, even if his remorse nagged at him. He just hoped Josh wouldn’t do something stupid again while he was alone in the appartment. Nearing a bench he had sat on a lot in the past coupe of weeks he was surprised to find it occupied, but happy as he saw who waited there already. Jill had become an allie, a friend in the past days, and Mark was always happy to see her. They both felt like being on the sideline way too often. Patting over to her and sitting down with a grunt he stretched his feet out before him and crossed his arms, sinking into the bench and letting his face soak up the sun. „It’s getting warmer.“ He stated the obvious, glad she got the underlying offer to tell him what was wrong right away. „I need to go back to college or I’ll not pass this year.“ Jill sighed, kicking a stone off the path before them. Huffing Mark stretched his arms as well, and sat up a little more straight again. „That sucks. Still…you should.“ 

Frowning at him the girl shook her head. „No. I will not leave her. It doesn’t matter. I had never really planned to end college anyway.“ Surprised Mark raised a brow. „So? And doing what instead?“ „I don’t know. Something I’m good at. Maybe I should start making videos, like you! Tyler didn’t end his school as well and went for his art instead.“ „…and still regrets it from time to time. But it’s different, Jill, to be honest. When Tyler quit he had a clear vision of what he was gonna do, he had mapped out the bands way for the next years, and had already written two albums worth of songs. He’s a visionare.“ Giving her a light push with his shoulder he tried to soothe his next, maybe a little harsh words a bit. „Don’t get me wrong but you are not. = Maybe I should…= is not something that is part of Tyler Josephs vocabulary. And you are not him.“ Of course she took it bad, he could feel it in the way she stiffened beside him. „Oh, wow, thanks fort he encouragement, man!“ Jill snapped, ready to stand up and leave but Mark grapped her arm and pulled her back down. „Hear me out! Beside of his work ethic Tyler had a shitload full of luck. Yes, he deserves where he is, there’s no second thought about that. But you can’t make it if not fortune is at your side. This all could have gone terribly wrong too and he would still live in a house with six dudes and serve as a waiter in some stinky restaurant all his life. I adore him for taking that risk, but I don’t think everyone should. You should end your college, Jillian. It’s not that much time anymore, you’re halfway through. And…“ looking her in the eye and smiling Mark realized that there might be someone he could be needed for, „if you want to you could start working for me meanwhile. Doing some small edits and such. Learning how that stuff works.“ Biting her lip the girl looked tot he ground, thinking about it. „I…“ she began, and gulped, „I don’t even know how to get back there. I don’t want to ask my parents to leave, Dad has only a few days with her before he hast o go back to work and Mum could never leave her alone right now. But…I can’t drive a car. I…I tried, yesterday. I ended up hyperventilating once I had started the engine. There’s no way I make it through a five hour drive.“ Fishing his sunglasses out of his pocket Mark set them on and smiled. „Well…looks like we’re going on a road trip together then.“


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for keeping u waiting, thanks for sticking around...

Watching the blonde leaving the room the man waited for her to walk down the aisle. He knew Jenna Joseph from various photographs, and although he would have loved to snatch a photo of her alongside her husband he knew it was safer this way. She didn’t recognise him but walked in the oposite direction, rounded a corner, and as soon as she was gone the man trotted over to the window, observed the room on the other side of it. The lightning was good enough so he wouldn’t need a flash, and throwing some quick glances to all sides the man puled out a small digicam and took a few shots, making sure that the singers tattoos were well visible so nobody would question his picture later. Satisfied he hid the camera again and left the hallway through a side door, that led him to a staircase and all the way down tot he basement, where he found the spot he had left his things behind in and quickly changed, shoving the uniform into his backpack alongside with the false ID card. Adjusting his baseball cap the papparazzi let a big smile creep on his face. This evening his photo would be out everywhere. And the big money would begin to roll. 

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Sandra had faked sleep as long as her parents had been around her, but once she was alone the girl slowly opened her eyes, stayed still for a few moments and just tried to feel. It was strange to know that her foot had been taken off, when she still felt like it was there, and she instantly started to cry. The feeling of being stuck was too familiar to her, it reminded her of sitting in the train, and she doubted that Tyler would come around to save her this time. From what she had heared he had woken up a few days ago too, and so far he didn’t have seemed to ask for her, so Sandra was pretty sure he couldn’t remember a thing. Biting her lip and trying to get herself together the girl waited out a bit before she carefully moved her arms, tried to put some weight on her ellbows and was able to propp herself up a bit after a few tries, just enough to let her fingers reacht the controlls of the bed beside of her. Pressing down the right button Sandra slammed into the soft cutions, when the head piece oft he bed slowly rose and she was brough into a sitting position. Stopping it she took a deep breath and pulled her blanket aside with care, starred at the blank spot below her left knee. Sandra hadn’t expected things going back to normal easy again, not after what she had been through, but to learn that life maybe never would be easy again left her devastated. The girl felt cold, suddenly, in the stranger room, disconnected from the world and the people around her. The dessert had been frightning, but at least she hadn’t been so damn alone, and Sandra leaned back and closed her eyes, trying to wish herself back there.

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„And you really wouldn’t mind doing that?“ Clay asked again, sending the young man in front of him a grateful glance. He could remember the first time he saw Mark quiet well, only minutes before he had learned what had happened to his daughter, and he had been pretty rough on the videographer. The more was he glad that Mark didn’t seem to be vengeful, but even offered his help. „Not at all. To be honest…if I stay around here with nothing to do way longer I might go insane. And this way I’ll be at least usefull.“ Clapping the youngers shoulder Mr. Banks smiled and nodded towards Jill and her mother, that talked on the other side oft he waiting room. „How did you persuade her to go back to school? She’s a pretty stubborn young lady.“ Shrugging Mark shoved his hands into his pockets. „I offered her a job. I could always need some help, and when Tyler comes back from this I’ll need people who know what they are doing. It will be the greatest PR thing we’ve ever done!“ Examining him from aside Clay sighed. „I’m in awe of the faithfulnes you guys have…but…I wouldn’t bet my life that your friend will ever be on a stage again. Chris told me about his improvement, but as well about how badly it has hit him. Even IF his mind is ok…who knows how long he will need to recover physically?“ „You don’t know him. Tyler has an incredible will. If he want’s something, there’s no way he isn’t getting there.“ Mark answered without waiting a heartbeat. „That may be true. But…what if his will is the one thing that broke when he hit the ground?“ 

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Opening his eyes Tyler recognised that he was alone right away and cursed his timing. Now that he had been able to grasp something, he was impatient to learn what had become oft he girl, if she was around, awake, safe. The thing was, even if there had been somebody close to him Tyler had no idea how he would be able to communicate his questions, as he was still silent, still caged into a body that didn’t move when he wanted nad there was nothing he could change about it. Trying to calm himself down he started to count his breaths in his head, hearing the beeb of his heart calm down on the monitor beside him. He had to think logic. Desperation would get him nowhere right now. The only thing he could do was trying to get his hands to work as soon as possible, so he could write or motion or do anything that would be understood by the people around him. Taking a deep breath Tyler concentrated all of his willpower on his right hand and the fingers that lay there useless, and tried to curl them, which cost him a lot of strength, but in the end he managed. Giving a huff he straigthened them out again, fighting the tiredness and repeating the motion. It worked only a few times before he had to stop, out of breath from this little movement, but still he was relieved that it had worked at all. Maybe he just had to take everything he had together, and this nightmare would be over earlier then he had thought. 

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Stashing away his gear Brad recognised his phone ligthing up and took it off the shelf he had left it on when he was out in the crowd taking pictures. A strange feeling took ahold of him when he saw countless calls and messages, and he blindly clicked on the first one, hoping the news were not too bad. Crinkling his front he clicked on the link a friend had sent him, only to get sick of anger when a known gossip side opened. „These bastards! These fucking bastards!“ he growled while he tapped the screen to close the article and fired up his contact book to do some calls.

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@flightlessisles: Guys…WTF? Have you seen tmz’s article?

@takingmytime689: This is disgusting! Don’t any of my mutuals dare to share that or we’re done!

@joshler4everandever: Omg, he looks so dead! I’m legit crying rn

@watermylane: That’s just insane! How could they even get a picture of him? And who the heck decides to post such a shit?

@rubyskies: @twenyonepilots @tylerrjoseph @joshuadun have you guys seen this? Better get your laywers going and remove it before it starts to circulate!

@vesperpilot: Is that even Tyler? I mean, you can’t really see his face…and the tattoos could be photoshopped.

@stayalivety: Maybe they did allow a pic so we could see him? 

@topupdating: Frens, please DO NOT share the article that tmz published on Tyler today! We’re nearly 100% sure that the picture they used was taken without anyones permission and it is highly unrespectfull towards him and his family not to mention maybe even illegal to use that in an official social media post! 

@blurryfaceskid: We can’t accept that! There’s anything we must be able to do! Let’s shitstorm them or something! They can’t treat Tyler like that!

@odetoavessel: @blurryfaceskid is right! Not with us! We will not let them harm him like that! Come on clique, do your thing!

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„I don’t fucking care how much this will cost! You’ll call court and sue the fuck out of these assholes until they fucking tell us the name oft he dickhead who did that!“ Whincing a bit on the frequence of curses the drummer used, Kelly waited patiently for him to end his call while she starred down on the screen of he youngers laptop, the picture of her son, lying in a hospital bed helpless displayed for the world to see. When Zack had called she had been just as furious as Josh was right now, but after a while Kelly had found that maybe it wasn’t even the most bad thing that could have happened. Sooner or later there would have been a picture of him and maybe, now that the hunger for sensation was satisfied, Tyler would be left alone. „You bet you’ll do! And as soon as you have his name you’re going to tell me and I’ll have a decent conversation with that fucker!“ Cutting the line and throwing his phone carelessly on the table Josh resumed to stomp up and down the living room, running his hands through his hair an tugging on the strands. „I can’t believe it! What’s next? Interviewing me while I’m shitting?“ Clearing her throat Tylers mother stood up from the stool she had been waiting on and stepped into the youngers way. „You need to calm down a bit, Joshua! Sure, I’m not amused of this either…on the other hand…now they let the cat out oft he bag there might be more peace for all of us. There’s nothing more they can make out of him now. They know the truth, there’s no speculating anymore. They’ll loose interest.“ „That’s the fucking…“ starting to yell again Josh tempered himself when Kelly grabbed his bizeps and squeezed a bit harder, „…fricking problem!“ Resuming with a trembling voice he yanked his arm free and wandered over to the window, gazing down on the street. „I don’t want people to forget him. I can’t stand everyone giving up on him.“ Sighing Kelly stepped beside him and linked her arm in his, leaning her head against his shoulder. „I get that, oh gosh, who would get that better then me, Joshua? But in the end, it won’t matter if they all remind him as he was, as long as WE believe in him.“

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Trying to read her sister impression Jill gnawed on her lip. „I‘‘ll be leaving tomorrow. Do you remember Mark Eshleman? Their videoguy? We…kinda grew close while you and Tyler were in coma. He offered to drive me to campus…and he offered me to let me work for him.“ The lack of an answer made her nervous, so Jill took the youngers hand and squeezed it lightly. „Hey…Sandy…you know I’ll not leave you, right? I’ll be back as soon as school allows, and will stay with you all summer.“ Turning her head slowly Sandra gave her a weak smile. It became easier for her to interact with every time she did so, still it was a strained thing to lead a conversation with her. The girls words came slowly, somtimes she slurred like if she was drunk, and her tone variated in intensity. Still Jill understood her, as she read more from her lips then she heared her voice. „I’m…happy for…you.“ Sandra whispered, her eyes blinking slowly, the freshly inserted painkillers making her dizzy. „Mum will be around. And…Jenna asked if she may visit you. You know who she is, right?“ Blinking another time the younger nodded slighty, pushing out only few words. „Tylers‘ wife.“ „Right.“ An awkward silence fell between them when Jill lowered her gaze to the ground. She felt so bad for leaving and didn’t want to strain her sister, still she couldn’t help but wanting an answer. „Sandy…can I ask you something?“ Squeezing her fingers lightly the younger one nodded again and inhaled, gathering strength fort he answer. „Did you…see Tyler? When you were in coma…did you kind of…meet him? He was the first thing you mentioned when you woke up, and Dr. May has this weired theory of coma patients being linked to each other and I wondered…“ realizing that Sandra was starting to fall asleep again Jill held her breath and waited patiently for her slow reply. „We…saved each other.“ Her sister told her, sighing tiredly, „And now he doesn’t even remind me at all.“ 

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Humming lightly Jenna dragged her fingertips over his arm, only a featherlight touch, and recognised the twitches he did happily. Dr. Carson had asked her to mind Tyler’s tactile reactions to make sure his recent unmoving state was due to his feebleness and not to any damage. Letting her lips follow, beginning to kiss his shoulder, she worked up slowly, to his ear, placed a peck behind it and then sat up to look at him. She knew he was awake for a while now but had rested, so he could muster the strength to be with her, and she welcomed him with the same adoring smile she ever had worn when looking at him, no matter how much she wanted to cry on the still visible injuries in his face. „Good morning, sleepyhead!“ Jenna stated softly when his brown eyes found hers, and his features lit up in a way. „It’s about time you wake up, we got a busy day ahead of us, love.“ Pushing herself off the bed and grabbing the things she had prepared Jenna got ready to do the daily chores she had asked the nurses to hand her over, took the remote of his bed and made the head part rise, so he was lifted into a half sitting position. Starting to wash down his chest Jenna made sure to sound not too uncertain while she talked. „We’ll start physiotherapy today. There’ll be someone coming around later that will show me how to move your legs and arms so your muscles get more trained. Dr. Carson gave his go for that yesterday.“ Drying his front off Jenna set the cloth aside and watched him for a second, waiting for any kind of response, but Tyler hadn’t tried to talk to her again as his last attempts had failed. She felt like he was preparing to do so, in a way, but just couldn’t get there still, and so she didn’t push him. If there was one thing they had now it was time, and Jenna had to bit back an ironic chuckle on the cruelty of life. How much had she wished to be able to spent days with him alone on a row, without interviews and concerts and meets and greets. Fate had granted her wish, and she couldn’t shake off the feeling of guilt completly. 

Meeting her gaze Tyler did smile though, only a little, but it warmed her, gave her enough encouragement to go on. Slipping her arms around his shoulders she carefully lifted him a bit so she could clean his back too, the closeness the motion created feeling off, forced somehow. His breath flowed down her neck when his head fell on her shoulder, he wasn’t able to hold it up himself still, but if Dr. Carson was right the physical therapy would improve that quiet fast. Dimming her voice a bit the blonde resumed. „Your mum will come by in the afternoon for a bit, as I have to do some shopping. I…thought we should maybe do some decors in here. I know how much you must hate this clinical surroundings. Nothing fancy, I thought of a few flowers and one or two paintings. The hospital gave it’s permission to do so. You know, Ty…“ leaning her face against his hair and kissing his temple Jenna sighed, „there’s nothing I want more then taking you home, nurse you in our own four walls, be with you there in our own little world…but…it will take some time. They won’t let you go until they’re sure we can handle all the problems ourselfes. But I promise you I’ll try to make this feeling like home to you as much as I can.“ Startling Jenna pulled back a bit when she felt fingers on her arm, realised that he had placed his hand there, did subtle, small streaks on her skin, as if he wanted to reassure her it was ok. Hiding her tears in his hair she sighed, frozen in that moment, marveling the small affection he was able to give. She had missed this so much, his touch, his presence, the slightest proove of his love was the world for her. After a time she pulled away though, placed him back in the cutions and went to clean him further, then grabbed the clothes she had brought. „I thought you’d love to get rid of hat gown for the day. Not that it wouldn’t suit you…makes you even more sexy,“ smiling to herself on the slight snort he gave Jenna picked a shirt, „but I thought you’d be more comfortable in your own things. Here…Josh told me to bring you this one, he says it’s yours anyway.“ They struggled a bit to get the shirt over his head and his arms into it, and by time they were done Tyler sunk back exhausted. „By the way…he’ll come by tomorrow. He’s burning to see you, but Dr. Carson told us we shouldn’t overwhelm you, as you can’t tell us…“ stopping in her speach while she straigthened out the basketballshorts she had choosen Jenna whinced inwardly and added „I’m sorry.“ Before she turned to look at him. Tyler sat in the bed, on the brink of sleep again, but she could tell he was listening, his eyes trying to transport what he was thinking, but as so often in their shared life all Jenna could to was to wonder what was going on behind his front. „We’ll find a way!“ she gave, averting his eyes. „I don’t know how and how long it will take…but we’ll find one. Maybe Sandra has some ideas for me, I’m going to see her…“ Rushing towards him Jenna stabled her husband when he tried to get up on the mention oft he girls name and his fingers did some quick moves. 

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„They are…ok. Jay has passed his test this week. His grade is not overly good, but I’m glad he managed to do it at all. He…misses mum a lot. I…I thought maybe she’ll be able to come home for his birthday? You remember it’s this friday, don’t you?“ Knowing his sons casually sound was just a cover up for his anger Chris sighed and switched the phone from one to the other ear. „Zack, if you got something to say then go for it. I’m too old and too tired for games, ok boy?“ There was a moment of silence on the other side of the line, and Chris could tell the younger was probably changing rooms, shutting out the snoopy ears of his siblings, before he confronted his father. „What the fuck, dad?“ Zack started, now more agitated, slightly growling under his breath. „You guys had one fucking job and that was to keep Ty safe! And this fucking guy could just walk in there and take a picture of him? Do you have the slightest idea what that article kicked off? Maddy and Jay can’t go out anymore, they’re bugged where ever they appear by people who want to know every bit on information on Tyler they can find! The phone rings 24/7 as appearently every grand grand grand cousine and aunt that we have thinks they need to chirm in and ask about him, as well as every fucking news and radio station in this fucking state! It’s a circus over here!“ Tylers brother had gotten louder with every word, and Chris let him yell out his emotions. „I’m sorry Zack. You’re right…we did a mistake by trusting in the hospitals security system, but as far as I have learned Josh has already taken care of that. He ordered in some of their bands security guys, they’ll be around from now on to make sure noone get’s near your brother again. If you want to we can send someone out to you guys too, so the kids don’t get bothered anymore.“ 

„Putting us all under arrest? Great idea!“ Zack snapped, clearly not interested in being calmed down. „And for how long do you plan to hold that shit up? Dad, Jay and Maddy need mum back home! I can only be as much of an surrogate, and if it wouldn’t be for Laura I would have gone insane already! Do you have the slightest idea in what state the house was when I returned? Damn, dad, I don’t even know how to wash my own clothes, right now I’m taking care of two kids and a whole fucking household!“ Sitting down on the couch Chris ran a hand through his hair. „I know, and I’m damn proud of you for doing so, son. But you got to understand us too. Tyler...we still don’t know exactly how he is. He’s concious a lot more with every day, but…he can’t communicate. I…I can’t make your mum leave him right now. I know that’s a lot to ask for but…maybe you could do kind of a party for Jay? With his friends? I’ll transfer money to your account, buy whatever he wants to have for birthday. Maybe Jordan and Abby could help you on that a bit? And Joel offered to take him and Maddy on a boat trip with his family in about two weeks, so you could have some days off...“ hearing a click and the following beeb of the closed line Chris cursed under his breath when he realised his son had just hung up on him. 

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Squeezing the drummer even harder Mark didn’t want to let go, still he knew it was necessarity to do so. They couldn’t stay in this state of waiting forever, at least he couldn’t without going insane. He had been asked to not visit Tyler so he could slowly get used to people around him, so Mark saw no cause in staying around there any longer. Josh seemed to be stable, in a way at least, more hostile and on the edge all the time, but not as self-destructive anymore. He had gone back to the purpose he had given himself a few years ago: Doing everything to make his best friend feeling well, and now that Tyler had woken up again there were plenty of tasks Josh could take up on. Beside ordering in their securities Josh had also sent out friends to Tylers house to gather some of the things he knew the singer loved dearly, so they could place it in his room and give him an impression of being home. He had also started to research on the main problem they had: Tyler not speaking. Within days Josh had become an expert on selective muteness and had contacted tons of experts on the matter, setting up a list of people he wanted to present to Jenna, so she could choose who they’d ask for help. „Promise me you’re not going to do something stupid, Joshua!“ the videographer whispered, ignoring the others attempt to break their hug. „We both know that promise would be worth nothing right?“ was his answer, followed by a more energetic try to get free oft Marks arms, this time victorious. Watching him worried Mark pushed his shoulder with his hand. „Seriously, Dun, don’t make me come back and kick your ass, right?“ It took a few moments but then Josh nodded, unremarkable nearly, but enough of an answer for his friend. „You take good care of her, ok? Like…I may be a little off track at the moment, but I’m not blind, Markey boy…just remember Jill isn’t twentyone yet. Be a gentleman or I’ll kick your BALLS!“ the drummer smirked when he stepped back and turned.

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„Yeah?“ „Hey, Jordan, this is Zack!“ „Hey man, what’s up?“ „Listen…I…I kind of would need your help.“ „Sure, always, you know that. What’s on?“ „Sweet. Do you think you could hang around our house with the kids this weekend? I…need to get out of here for a bit, you know?“ „No problem, Zack, just tell us when we should be there. I’m sure mum will swing by too so we all don’t starve in your abscence.“ „Great. Thank you. Seriously. I appreaciate it.“ Cutting off the call Zack grabbed a stack of T-Shirts and put them into his bag, ignoring the memories that threatened to fall down on him from all over the room. This was their childhood dorm, where he and Tyler had spent so many days and nights together, fighting, laughing, sharing the deepest secrets. Zack was aware how special their bond was, sure, there where other brothers that were close too, but between him and Tyler existed a trust that went beyond the average. The older had always been his idol, from the moment he could think on, because he lived his life with a determination that was second to none. Tyler knew exactly what he wanted and when he wanted it, and even in his darkest days, when he had battled depression and anxiety, he had never failed in being the older brother to look up to. They had each others backs althrough their life, and Zacks soul were torn apart with the knowledge that he hadn’t been there when it happened. The moment Tyler needed him the most he had been away, driven back by his own fear of what had maybe become of the other. There was no way he’d look him in the eye ever again without feeling that guilt. The air had begun to turn to thin to breath around there, with their basketball trophies and band posters and neatly filed CDs around. Zack needed to breathe, so he grabbed his bag and headed downstairs to talk to his siblings.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't deserve someone still reading as I Keep abandoning you. I try my best to be constant...but it s part of my Syndrom that I sometimes hyperfocus and write hundrets of words a day, and then can't write for weeks again. I don't deserve you all. Still I'm so happy and thankfull for those who still read. This Story is close to my heart and I really want to finish it. I hope you give me time to grow. Know I try my best.

„…last but not least, here’s Michelle Dorm with the KLNA Net-News!“ „Thank you Karen! And we got a little sensation this week. Tmz.com shared an article on Twentyone Pilots‘ lead singer Tyler Joseph on Monday. Joseph was serverly injured in a terrible accident on Highway I-30 two months ago and fans all over the world were desperatly waiting for news on him. A secret source now provided a picture of the singer in his hospital room, claiming that he is still in coma and recent informations of his family and friends are lies to keep the fans in track. What nobody had expected was the reaction of Josephs‘ fanbase, the so called Skeleton Clique. In an unbelieveable coordinated attack thousands of people managed to paralyze tmzs‘ servers, so the site was not reachable for a span of nearly 12 hours. Additional fans loaded various pictures of Joseph, titled with the same caption as the hospital one, up to plattforms like instagram and twitter, managing to push the offending papparazzi shot far down in search engine results. The few fans that actually shared the picture were singled out by the majority and called out to take it off their profile. Josephs‘ management gave out an official statement this morning, they will take full law enforcement on the person that took the picture, as well as on tmz.com and every other site that shared it.“

Huffing Brendon shut off the TV and took a sipp of his beer before he turned in the office chair and grinned at Brad. „Better not fuck with the Clique, hm? Tyler can be really proud of his people! Mine would have taken that picture and use it to nut, presumably.“ Groaning agonized the photographer grabbed a bottle oft he desk and opened it too. „And you’d have been awefully proud of them still.“ „You bet! But seriously, this is great! I’ve seldom seen a fanbase with so much determination. Mark my words: They’ll be ready for him whenever he comes back.“ Gulping hard on the bitter liquid Brad recognised why he never drank. It messed with his guard of being grumpy, made him too open for others to see. „We know this might not gonna happen, Bren.“ Slamming his bottle on the table the singer sat up. „Oh come on! We’re talking about TYLER FUCKING JOSEPH! The boy who the fuck had the balls to come right up to me, being a nobody, telling me that he hates my guts but thinks I’m a brilliant musician when he was offered to go on tour with us. Do you seriously think Tyler would give up, now that he fucked death right into his face? Our friend is a legend, boy!“ „Compared with you he’s a saint, at least verbally.“

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Carefully wrapping the bandage around her stump Sandra fought back the tears. It wasn’t so much the pain that brought them up, she could stand it and if not there was always a nurse only one call away, but the fact how ultimatly this was. This would be her life now. Taking care of a handicap, never running, never dancing again. Where everyone had expected her to break down though Sandra had listened to Dr. Carson carefully as he explained what had happend exactly, keeping collected features. After it she had demanded to be shown how to treat her stitches, how to take care of the right binding. It helped her to distract herself from the fact that she was bound to a bed, and god knew for how long she would be. It where small moments, the ones when she fixed up the bandage, when she heared her own, strained breath under the effort, that took the best out of her. Having to stop for a moment so her hurting arms would get a break Sandra let her head hang low and breathed, deep and long, before a sob broke it’s way out of her. The girl didn’t cry for all too long, she soon got angry at herself and cursed, grabbing the fabric again and resuming her task. She had just finished and lay down again when a knock on the door appeared, a carelessly thrown „Come in!“ flying from her lips. Sandra remembered that Jill had told her about Jenna, and that she wanted to come by, and the girl had feared it as much as she had been looking foreward to it. Noone of her family had been able to tell her much about Tyler, as they had contacts with his parents appearently, but right now were to caught up in taking care of her then to learn details on him. Hoping Jenna was good news Sandra looked her up and down, the mental image she had oft he woman before her not fitting her actual state. The blondes‘ hair was greasy, her eyes black bagged, and where she had been thin before she was way too much now. It hurted Sandra to see her that way, and she knew exactly why. It was Tylers emotion that swam through her, they had bonded on a soul level, and she could empathize with him. Waiting for the older to come closer the girl bit her lip and watched her sit down. It was an awkward silence for a moment, Jenna hesitant to talk to her a bit, Sandra feeling the same way about her. Still she was the first to speak, in a steady, calm tone, her voice not able to transpire the feelings inside of her.

„You should take better care of you. Tyler hates to see you like that.“ Sandra gave, well recognizing Jennas pupils widen and her mouth standing slightly agape for a moment. „Oh my god…he was right, wasn’t he? Dr. May told us all along but we thought it was just an imagination.“ It was a natural understanding between them, not much words, explanations needed, they both knew what they were talking about. „It doesn’t matter anymore.“ Sandra sighed, closing her eyes, opening them again though when Jenna took her hand. „He doesn’t remember me.“ „That’s not true!“ Fighting hard not to cry Jenna didn’t know how to deal with this. It was surreal, completly illogic, still she grabbed on to the only hope she saw left. „Sandra…Tyler is completly mute at the moment, and too weak to write. The past weeks he made progress every day, but slow, like…being able to raise his hand a bit or move a finger. Today…when I told him I was going to see you…“ taking all of her strength Sandra sat up and gazed at the older in disbelieve, „he started to sign. It wasn’t much, his movements are so limited but it was clearly linked to him hearing your name.“ Gripping the girls hand harder Jenna pleaded with all of her heart. „Please…tell me what you know! Do you have an idea how to help him?“ Pushing her blanket aside resolutely the girl pointed on the wheel-chair her parents had brought in just that day. „He talked to me like that…in signs first. Let me see him…maybe I can understand…“

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Leaning her head against the side window Jill tried to ignore the sickness in her belly, that had taken her over the moment they entered the highway. She could tell Mark drove super carefull and way under the allowed speed limit, still her hands trembled and the back of her shirt was trenched in sweat. Since the accident she had been in a car once or twice, always glad that she could leave it soon, but now, with five hours of driving ahead oft hem, she didn’t manage to calm herself down enough. Fighting herself for a few more miles Jill gave in eventually, gasping a „Please stop!“ that Mark followed instantly, switching over to the emergency lane and bringing the car to an halt. Sensing what was about to happen he rushed out of the car on to the passengers side, just in time to grab the girls arm and help her to stumble the few feet to the turf beside the street, where she heaved up her breakfast, cursing inbetween the wrenches. Once she was done Mark grabbed her by the hip and guided her back to the car, where he made her sit down in it’s shadow rummaging in the trunk until he found the water bottles he had packed. Opening one and assisting her in taking a few sips he was glad to see colour entering her cheeks again, an embarrased blush inking them red. „I’m sorry. I’m stupid.“ Jill huffed, snorting and trying to whipe her face from tears. „Cut that. You’re not. It’s perfectly normal that you react that way. You’ve got a trauma, Jillian. You nearly saw your sister die.“ „As well as you had to reanimate your best friend! Still you’re not the one acting pathethic!“ she gave, mad at herself and the situation in common. Letting his weight plopp down beside her then Mark leaned the back of his head against the cool metal of the car, his eyes trained into the nowhere.

„Maybe not right now. But every fucking single night since it happened.“ The girl shifted her atttention, and let her gaze wander over his features. Mark gave off an composed demanour, and she couldn’t remember it having been any other way since the day she knew him. The thing was…Jill knew how to hide, she had done that countless times before and so she was able to see when someone else did. Realising Mark was completly lost inside long before he had done it had been part of her decission to let him drive her back to school. He had desperatly needed an outlet, just as she had, to get away from a reality that had left them both wounded inside. Slowly letting her fingers trace down his arm Jill listened when he told her about the demons that had taken a hold of his sleep. „It’s…every time I close my eyes…I…damn, Jill…he was dead. Tyler…was dead. There was no breath, no heartbeat, he was a fucking body, cooling off on the concrete. I…I can feel his fucking lips…they were like frozen…and…I…I saw that crack…I…his brain…“ choking on air Mark didn’t resist when she slid her arm around him and pulled him into a hug.

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The sun began to set, but Zack didn’t care about it. He had walked this path so often, he could have done with his eyes closed. Even doing this on some parts, he called up memories oft he times he had spent up here with his family, their grandfather taking him and Tyler on camping trips in the woods. He had been the one to show them how to fish, although both of them sucked at it, and he had showed them how to make fire, even if both burned their hands every single time they tried. Still none of them had complained. He had been a fascinating man, with loads of stories, and deep knockledge on nature and the world. Zack an Tyler had appreciated that, and had always been up for these holidays with him, until they grew up, got busy, and lacked the time. Still regreting that he had cancled a visit at his grandparents house last year, Zack wished their grandfather would be still there. He would have been the one he would have turned to, now that he felt so lost, so alone in all of this. There was no grieve in his heart about how the people around him reacted, he knew that they were right. But he couldn’t fight off the feeling that they all ignored the obvious. Years ago, when his brother had been in a real bad place, they all had made a vow, to keep him safe, to thigthen their circle around him, and make sure Tyler’s message was all he had to concentrate on. In the end, all of them had failed, just because fate had different plans.

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„…and Panic! Is going strong. Urie really outdid himself with that album.“ „I’m surprised it works so well without Weekes, the fanbase liked him a lot. But who am I to complain? Ok, next?“ The label boss sat back and crossed his arms, looking at the managers, gathered on his table. There was one with a particular worried face and the boss decided to learn the cause for it. „What’s with TOP? Anna showed me the numbers, the downloads have even increased since that picture of Joseph is out there.“ Sighing the bands manager went through his papers. „Yeah, they have. If the album goes on like this they will extand Blurryface‘ sucess easily. Without even being on tour. And…believe it or not…the new single is rumoured to be up for a grammy already.“ Shaking his head the boss huffed. „Damn. Who would have known how right you are when you told me about them being a sensation back then. Joseph even sells when he’s not selling!“ „I hope they don’t win though.“ „Are you crazy? It would be the best that could happen in this situation, people need content so they stay in line!“ „Well…“, not looking foreward to the call he had to made, the manager gave up the picking on sheets.“I don’t think there would be anybody there to accept it.“

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The world seemed too vertical, and Sandra had to grip the handles of the wheelchair hard, the unusual movement making her slightly sick. Jenna took her time, only gently pushed her through the hallway, always having the infusion, that rolled along with them, in mind. It felt kind of forbidden, the way they hadn’t asked someone, not even called the nurse, but they had both been afraid of being balked, so they had just went for it. Nearing her husbands room the blond stopped them, walking around the chair, chroaching down on the girls level. „Are you ok?“ Realising that she probably looked as pale as she felt on the inside Sandra nodded with her lips pressed to a thin line, holding the olders gaze. „Ok then…“ Jenna breathed, and resumed their way to the door, opened it and rolled the girl in. Taking in the scene Sandra breathed deeply, her head buzzing, as reality and vision melted together more and more. In the whirlwind of life around her, in the alternate universe she had woken up to, Tyler seemed to be the only thing that felt real. He was defeated, she could see that much, but he was alive, breathing, his mind asleep. Grabbing the wheels of her chair and pushing herself closer to the bed Sandra rolled over, close enough to touch him, lay her hand on his arm, restore a connection. Behind her, the door was opened and Kelly stepped in, wanting to ask Jenna something, and being mildly surprised as her daughter in law more or less pushed her out oft he room and closed the door behind them, relocating their discussion to the hallway. Feeling a sense of peace overcoming her Sandra smiled when he twitched in a dream, time loosing it’s matter now they were both no longer haunted by death. „We’re home, Ty. We’ve made it.“

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„Are you ready?“ Daniel asked, cautiously eyeing the drummer. Josh didn’t answer imediatly, simply because it was straining to lie, but uninventable too. „Yes.“ He confirmed in the end, knowing the other just did his job. Dan wasn’t Michael or Jordan…he wasn’t a security net Josh was used to and it unsettled him more then it should. His friends wouldn’t have sended the guy if he wasn’t one of the best. „There are some fans outside. The pictures of you leaving the building yesterday have made their rounds, but it’s nothing we couldn’t deal with. Are you ok with signing some autographs or do you just want to get through it asap?“ Freezing Josh raised his eyes and watched himself in the mirror, Daniel calmly waiting for him by the door. With the picture of Tyler being released the hunt had started. Media had come across that after that „disrespectful act“ every other thing was completly ok. They had never grown custom to being public, being followed their every move, and as much fun it sometimes was to „be somebody“, as hard it was the most of the time. Josh felt the pressure even more, now that people started to relly heavily on him. The fans had gotten harsher in their demands when they had learned Tyler was mostly out of the danger zone. They didn’t understand why Josh didn’t talked to them, but began to hide behind security. It was a strange bond they had formed over the years,them and the masses that followed Tylers words like they were a creed to live by. It had turned into kind of a hate-love relationship over the sucess. Josh knew there were some out there, genuinly worried for him and his friend, that yearned to know how they were doing, but he also knew a lot of them lurked like monsters, feeding on scandal, greedily sucking out every information they got. It was hard to tell who was who these days and even harder to interact with them all. Still he felt obligated to do something, pushed himself off the table and walked over to one of the many unpacked bags the police had brought here after the crash.

Noone had bothered to sort out their gear, their belongings until now, Josh didn’t even knew what happened to their instruments, that had been in a trailer behind the bus. Digging in the bags he threw things out carelessly, chargers, clothes, cables, until he found a stack of cards, the ones they used to sign sometimes and hand out after concerts. Sitting down he grabbed a pen, starting to write his name down on them, on one, two, the third, before he stopped, the blank space over Tylers figure making him tear up. Grabbing the already signed cards he crumbled them and threw them across the room, ignoring Daniels raised eyebrow and started all over, writing „Twentyone pilots“ across the both of them.

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„..were you thinking? Jenna, Sandra isn’t cleared to leave her room as far as I know!“ Crossing her arms in defense the blonde wasn’t willing to back down from her mother in law this time. Kelly and her never had fought, never had have a single moment of disagreement between them, and Jenna had been grateful for that. Getting your son married was never easy for a mother, so much she did understand, and in Tylers case it might have been a little harder too. Kelly had spent years of her life home for him, teached him, helped him when he fought his demons. To hand that responsibility over so freely had been a great act from her side. Right now though she seemed to want to take it back and Jenna was not willing to let her do so. „She says she can talk to him!“ „Jenna…Jesus…don’t you understand? This could be damaging, to both of them! We don’t know what happened and we don’t know in which condition Ty is mentally! This could trigger him and her in bad ways!“ „It won’t! Kelly…“ giving up her rigit pose Jenna let her arms fall to the side, „I just KNOW this is what they need, ok? I can’t tell you why, but when he reacted to her name…I just know.“ Scoffing the older woman shook her head and shifted her gaze to the hallway behind her daughter in law. „Well, I think I may be the least person you need to explain yourself to.“ Tilting her head confused Jenna turned when Kelly gave a nod, pointing behind her, only to see Sandras parents rushing down the aisle and towards them. „Jen!“ Sydney panted, tears in her eyes, „do you know where Sandy is? The nurse told me you have been listed as her last visitor and she has vanished and the chair isn’t there too, and we’re sure she couldn’t do it…“ „She’s with Tyler. It’s ok. I brought her.“ Jenna interrupted her, bracing for another discussion. „She’s…what?“ Tugging on her arm her husband brought Mrs. Banks attention to the window beside them, where they could see their daughter sitting beside the singers bed. „Are you…“ Sydney began, wanting to turn and yelling at the blonde, but a motion caught her eye and stopped her. Tylers hands couldn’t move with all too much range, they rested on his blanket, small signs forming, slow in their change, but still, the girl smiled and talked back to him, as if she understood him just perfectly.

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„Fuck!“ Zack exclaimed and threw the lighter towards the next best tree, where it smashed to peaces. Coming to an halt in his movement he blinked for a second, then cursed some more, and sat down beside the unlightened pile of wood, catching his head in his hands. He had hoped to come to peace out here a bit, but so far it was just another horrortrip in the movie life seemed to be lately. This all felt so unreal, so out of line, and not just since the accident. Being with Tyler felt like this for while now. Zack had been with him for a long time, had seen the venues grow, the masses multiply, up to the point where they got insane. He had been there beside him, waiting off stage, sometimes even on it, watching, lingering, protecting who Tyler were. His brother had no choice but setting up a stage persona that allowed him to be everthing he wasn’t in the real world, loud, intimidating, controlling. Zack had made sure that he could be who he was when they were together, exploring the cities, playing games on the bus. Around him, the older was open, albeit quiet, but they never needed much words to understand each other. Tears found their way to the ground between his legs, when he thought about nearly loosing his brother, when the lonliness took him in waves. Startling Zack nearly sprang to his feet then when he suddenly heared footsteps. It wasn’t completly dark yet, so he relaxed a bit soon, when he recognised the shape that came towards him.

Smirking Jordan let his backbag slip to the floor and started to rummage in it, throwing a casual, „Yo…up for a party?“ at him. Looking up from where he sat at the ground Zack didn’t even make an effort to hide he was crying, still snapped at the other. „Jordan. What the fuck do you want?“ Fishing an old newspaper and some match sticks out of his bag Jordan sat down with a sigh, and took some minutes to arrange the wood new before he stuffed crumbled pages between it and lit the fire. „Making sure you’re not doing anything stupid.“ „Oh, come on!“ Again sticking his hands into the bag Jordan grinned open now. „Nah, actually I came to do something stupid WITH you.“ Quirking a brow when the younger pulled out a small glass bong Zack watched him stuff it, light it and take a deep inhale. „I thought Joshua had stopped that shit.“ Blowing the smoke out in circles Jordan shrugged. „He has. Too dangerous for his image, ya know?“ „More like Tyler telling him to or he’ll kick him out oft he band.“ Chuckling Jordan did another drag before he offered the pipe to the other. Zack hesitated for a moment, but then decided that life coudn’t get more fucked up and took it. „Sounds about right!“ Joshs brother exclaimed while he took his hit, ending up caughing and wheezing a bit. „Easy there, boy! We’ve got all night to get high.“ „I’m done with this already, thanks!“ Shoving the pipe back at the other Zack grabbed two cans from behind him, and handed one over. „Has Tyler ever tried it?“ Jordan asked, while starring into the fire. „He has, with your brother actually.“ „Was to bexpected. Must have been a show.“ „You have no idea! He freaked out. Josh tried to talk him down for like an hour as he was convinced he was about to die, mumbling something about his heartrate and that he’s dizzy all the time. I think that was the day Josh stopped doing it.“ Giving a whistle Jordan smiled. „Always a little extra, your brother, hm?“ It didn’t take saying something particular to let Zack break, Jordan knew that. What it took was being there, showing him he was not alone in this, and with bringing up one after another story about their brothers, he eventually reached the point where the other fell into his arms and cried his soul out.

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	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so...I'll not apologize for making you all wait for so Long. I have done that a plenty, and in the padt few months I learned how important it was to take a break and take care of my mental Health. I started a therapy, I started meds and I started to turn my life for a better. Still....this Story is so close to my heart, It s the one Story I ve written I love most. Therefore I needed to end it. I know the end won't be like some of you wished or thought…..but......there will be a following Story to this. The characters and the storyline are still in my head daily and I don't want to end it completly. But this part, the "wake up from a dreamers Sleep" is done. I ll let you know when I ll start Posting the following up Story. Thank you all for your Patience, your Kind words, kudos and love. You have no idea how much that means to me....

„Josh!“ „How are you?“ „Is Tyler awake?“ „We love you!“ „When will there be new music?“ Pushed through the little crowd in front of the apartmentbuilding by Daniel, who kept a hard grip on his arm, Josh tried to sink into his head as far as possible. He could feel his throat thightening up already, a panic attack creeping on to him like an old enemy, and so he started to count, rows of numbers, hoping to drown out the voices around him. The other security was instructed to hand out the cards as soon as Josh were gone, and the drummer hoped it would ease their fans demands a bit. Cameras flashed all around him, to no good avail though, he had grabbed a hoddie he couldn’t even tell if it was his or Tylers, pulled the hood deep into his face and hid behind sunglasses. They had already nearly made it to the car when a single sentence took all his breath and made him stop, slowly turning to the person who had given it. Alongside the fans there were a few papparazi. Of course there were, this greedy vultures circled over every scandal they could find. One of them had lowered his cam, probably realising that a shot of the drummer like this was worth nothing, he could have been any person the way he was dressed. „A little arrogant, Dun, hugh? You don’t sell as good as your retarted bandmate, so give us a pose!“ Josh stopped dead in his tracks for a moment, unable to breathe of anxiety, but in the end anger pushed enough air in his lungs to let him launch at the photographer and starting to slamm his fist into the others face over and over again.

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He could feel her, in the haze, deep down in his sleep. Tyler was floating, he had been tired out to no end by his tries to communicate with Jenna, so he had welcomed the silence of sleep. It was interrupted, not cruel though, but by a soft sound, words, from that he only got one, but it was essential. „…home.“ Something warm steered in him, and pulled him out of it, slow and calm, so he came to his senses in an order, and could collect himself. No pain, no fear, but joy flodding his consciousness he pulled his lids open, and let his lips break into a smile as his eyes fell on her. Sandra watched him intendent, giving the gesture back, and for some moments they just starred, as if the other where the only thing of consistence. „You didn’t give up.“ Sandra stated finally, and her hand linked with his, his grip weak, but familiar, more then anyhing she had found in the real world since she was back. Trying to lift his free hand Tyler failed, and hoped she could read his face, which she prooved right away. „You were afraid I’d come back and kick your ass, hm? Got it.“ He was still so tired, and every little move cost him energy, but the chuckle deep in his chest felt too good to surpress. The girl grinned with him, but then got serious, her fingertips tracing the scars on his chest. „No, seriously…I’m glad your here. You did good, Ty. Promise me you will rest now and get better and back on stage and rock the frick out of people.“ Catching up on the sadness in her voice Tyler knew that something was wrong with her, and he wished he could have asked her properly, but his tongue was heavy and useless, and his throat dried off words. Sandra sighed and let go of him, sat back in her chair. „You know you can do this, right? You have overcome that once, you can do it another time. Just be a little patient, you’ll speak again, I’m sure of this.“ More assuming then knowing then Tyler tapped his fingers on her wrist, changed his features, talked with his eyes and the girl sighed again. It was good to realise he felt their connection just like her, had figured out she was restrained. „If I’ll ever walk again? Well…maybe. But I don’t think I’ll ever dance.“

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„...there you go!“ Putting Jills last bag to the floor the Mark took a moment to whipe the sweat of his front and looked around the small dorm room. „Nice one!“ he commented and the girl shrugged, plopping down on her bed for a minute and stretching her arms with a groan. „Yeah, it's ok. I'm glad it's a single one, I can't really stand having a roommate. Sandy and I had to share our room for thirteen years and believe me, it was no fun!“ Sitting down beside her with a shrug Mark wondered if it was time for him to go, and where he should head now. His life had been planned out for at least the next two years, traveling the world alongside his friends, now he felt aimless and lost. „I guess. On the other hand it must have brought you close. Tyler and Zack shared their room for all of their childhood and they're exepctional in sync with each other.“ „They are boys, there's a difference!“ Chuckling the videographer starred down at his hands, not recognising how the girl beside him watched him do so. „Hey, Mark...“ Jill started, feeling her heart picking up speed. „Yep?“ „Can you like...“ biting her lip a bit she tried to not avoid his gaze as he shifted it towards her, „close your eyes for a moment?“ Confused he tilted his head but finally did with a „Sure.“ only to be met by an electric jolt racing throughout his whole system when Jill pressed her lips to his in a brief, but pressured kiss, before she pulled back and whispered a „Thank you!“ and stood up, starting to put away her clothes in order to hide her flushed face. Sitting at the bed, starring at her back Mark let his fingers wander over his lips, feeling them form into a smile. Maybe there WAS something good coming out of every bad. Maybe there would be some things to live for he had ignored for too long.

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Not looking up as he heared footsteps coming Josh starred at the ground to his feet. The sun painted streaked shadows from the windows bar, a surreal view to his eyes, but closing them hadn't helped either. This was just another sidestory in the reoccurig nightmare his life seemed to be, now that everything had changed. The drummer ignored his name as he where called for the first time, but knew he couldn't as the officer cleared his throat and called him again. „Mr. Dun! You can come with me know. Your bail has been payed.“ Not giving an answer he stood and dragged himself out of the cell and into the aisle, following the man down to the main door, passing him by as he held it open for him. Josh didn't want to make eyecontact when he approached Jenna, so he stopped right before her and fixed her shoes, but the blond was quick to put her hand under his chin and make him face her. Examining the slight bruise on his left eye she sighed and slipped her arm under his, pulling him out of the station and into the waiting car. Luckily there where no people around, Josh recognised it somewhere in the back of his mind, and he wondered if they had enough, now that he had snapped. Pressing him into the cars' soft seat Jenna rushed to round it and get in on the other side before she signalised their bodyguard to go ahead.

The roar of the engine, the singing of the asphalt underneath the tires reminded the drummer of a video they had done. They had wracked a car back then, thought it would be cool. Now he didn't want to even think about crumbled metal, licking fires anymore, it had become too real, just like the photographers blood that splashed on the concrete when Josh broke his nose. Disconnected from himself he needed a while to realise the hand on his thigh, massaging his knee with small circles, the warm, soothing voice beside him. „...in and out. Slowly. That's good Joshua. Just breath.“ Jenna said, radiating calm. She had became an expert in this over the years, her husband sometimes as out of it as his best friend, and it seemed to be a natural ability of hers. „You back with me?“ she asked with a smile as the drummer shook his head, raised his eyes and looked at her. „Y...Yeah...I...guess.“ he gave with a shaky voice, deep, long breaths braking his words in a half. „That's good. Just keep breathing. You're ok, Josh, you're safe. Everything's good.“ Pressing his lids closed the drummer shook his head at that, nearly violently. „No...it's not good...it...it never will be good again! Ty...he...“ Not willing to let him fall into panic Jenna interrupted him than, her fingers now digging into his knee, grounding him to reality. „He's talking to Sandra. She understands him perfectly. He's totally ok, Joshua, he reminds who he is, who the two of you are, he knows everything! His body has taken quiet a hit, but his mind is completly intact! We got him back, Josh....Tyler is back with us!“

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„You know it wasn’t your fault, right?“ Blowing some white smoke into the infinity of the stars above them Zack let that question sink in for a while, before he answered. After his downbreak Jordan had made him eat, drink, and now smoke again, and slowly the youngers remedy made an impact. Much calmer now, albeit more open, Tylers brother sighed, taking another deep drag before handing the joint back to Jordan. „Depends on what we’re talking about.“ Rolling to the side Jordan proped his head on his arm and watched the fires‘ shadows dance across the others face. „Even if you would have been there, you couldn’t have helped him. You would have been asleep probably, like they all were.“ His head slowly falling to the side Zack realised how high he were, and how good it felt, to just float with the moment and forget about the noise, the din of the crowds and the stage hands and the endless, endless people they needed to talk to. Out here, only the trees were surrounding them, and they kept silent, giving them space to just be. „You have so no idea, Jordan.“ „Oh, come on, how would you have prevented that accident? Zack, some things just happen without a cause, without being fair, and there’s nothing you can do against it.“ His smile was weak, and Zack felt how tiredness lulled him in, he lacked the energy for heated discussions. „I should have let him die back then J. I should have not taken some of his pills away. He doesn’t know it…nobody does…but Josh would have not been able to save him when he tried to kill himself. The dosage would have been to high. But luckily he trusted me enough to not count them before he took them…and now I know, I should have never done that. It was his call to go, so he wouldn’t have to see this tragedy.“ 

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Gripping each others hand a little thighter Kelly and Sydney felt each others tremble of joy, watching their kids interact that way. Dr. Carson and Dr. May had been more then mad about Jennas stunt, but were also fascinated by this too much to force the two of them away from each other again. With the families approvement they had moved Sandras bed into Tylers room, so they could do some interviews with them, and then let them rest again. „Ok, so Tyler…now that we’ve checked your physical reactions so far I’m going to ask a few more questions, ok? If you can’t answer or want to stop and sleep just tell me.“ Giving the girl a glance he saw Sandra nodding, and a strange shudder ran through Dr. Mays being. The record of his patients was higly unique, he had seen a few people conecting in koma, but never had they have the understanding for each other that Tyler and Sandra seemed to have. He literally spoke through her, where his family and wife couldn’t even understand a single of his limited gestures. That he never had met the girl before made the whole thing even more mysterious. The doctor felt that this might be the one case he had always waited for, the one that prooved his theory. „Do you know what day, month and year it is?“ Rolling her eyes Sandra didn’t even bother to explain but huffed. „Tyler! Take this serious for a second, ok? Stop fooling around!“ Then she waited, giving the answer back at them. „He’s a dork, but yes, he knows the date.“ „Aaaaalllright…“ Dr. May gave a little sceptic, making a note on his pad. „Which city did you last play in before the accident happened?“ Looking up sharply he could tell that the question hit both of them off guard, and he accepted the little silence that followed, before soft rustling of Tylers hands on the sheets freed their mothers held breath. „He’s not sure. He says he can tell you what happened the moment before the accident though. And he knows who he is. But he says he can’t exactly recall places he has been to.“ „That’s ok.“ The doctor hurried to assure them. „You might have a temporary memory loss there, but given all the things you can do and remember I’m positive you might be able to recall more oft hat information later on.“ Making another mark on his sheet Dr. May took a look at the screens beside his patient, measuring his vital signs. „Ok, well done, last one, then you’ll get to rest. I’m proud of you, both of you!“ he added, realising the small smiles on both of their faces. „What do you remember about waking up?“ The answer came faster this time, and more energetic. „Someone pulling him up. He has thought about that, actually, he thinks it was Josh.“ Starring at Tyler stunned the mothers smiled at each other. „Wow! That’s impressing though! In fact Joshua WAS there when you woke up, we’ve asked him to help you to come back when we triggered your system.“ „Where is he? Is he ok?“ Sandra asked. „He’s fine so far…affected by this of course, but he’ll be ok.“ „Tyler wants to see him.“ „He will, I promise, but for now it’s important you get rest. I suggest the both of you take a nap and later Sandy will get a nice dinner and Tyler a nice infusion, how does that sound?“ Grinning at the girl that broke out in laughter when she read the signs Tyler did the doctor directed at her. „What did he say?“ „Oh, believe me…“ she gasped, „you don’t want to hear that!“ 

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@topstannews: After a few discussions we have decided to delete this account. It’s not that we’d not love Tyler or Josh with all of our hearts, we’ll stan them forever on our personal accounts, but this news-account has no legitimation anymore. The few things we lately got were a leaked pic that just showed us how serious Tylers state really is, and a video of Josh breaking a mans nose for being an ass at him. That’s not the content any of you sigend up for, that’s not what we’ll proceed to show. Maybe, at this point, it is the best for all of us to take a step back and let them be, because obviously, giving Joshs reaction, they need space, time, and privacy to get through this, and as a responsible group of fans this is all we can do. We’ll be there whenever they feel like telling us something positive again. Right now we think, with sharing news, we’d only contributing to a toxic environment. See you around.

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„No way!“ Shutting the buses door behind him Brad stepped into the „living room“ of the vehicle, only to find Brandon stomping up and down the aisle. „I said no!“ The person on the other side of the call seemed to be as agitated as the Panic! Singer was himself, as Brad could hear them talk from feet away. „Are you crazy? I’m NOT gonna go there and accept their grammy! That’s just…NUTS!“ Wanting to fall in with a question Brad suddenly got extremly nervous, but Brendos outstreched arm and hand made him clear he should shut up. „Joshua can’t also do this! Damn, does none of you assholes understand that this fucking trophy doesn’t matter anything at the moment? This fucking piece of metal is the least thing any of us is worried about now! Go, accept it yourself, and then take it and shove it up your ass, pull i out and start fucking the next CO…“ Distorting his features Brad listened to the follwing assault over a few minutes, before Brendon cut the line with a „YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!“ and threw his phone to the floor with a wholehearted „FUCK!“. Crossing his arms and leaning against a chair the photographer waited until the other had catched his breath and recognised his presence again. „You done now?“ he gave dryly, only to be met by a „FUCK YOU TOO HEATON!“ and a kick to the wall. Not responding the photographer waited a few more moments, before Brendon drove his hands through his hair and sighed. „Ok…now I’m done.“ „What was that little tantrum about?“ Throwing glances like daggers at him Brendon huffed. „That fuckers of a management want me to go to the grammys, do a farewell speech to Tyler and accept their award.“ „I thought Grammys are not announced beforehand?“ „This one is. It’s the one for "a Lifetimes work". Do you realise what they are trying to do, Brad? They try to KILL him metaphorically! To make the people forget about him! To brand him as the poor retarted, well respected musician that will never get foot in the industry again! I’m not having this!“ 

Letting his head hang for a second the photgrapher shook it and sighed. „Bren…I totally envy your determination and loyality towards the both of them, now that I know of Tylers distaste for your sorry ass even more…but…you shouldn’t endanger your job, man! They let you get away when you saved me and the crew, but sooner or later they will get pissed and drop you.“ „And if, what? There’s a hundreths of labels out there that…“ Getting stopped in his speech by Brads hand closing around his biceps painfully thight Brendon starred at him. „You know that’s not true! You know you’re not their number one anymore, haven’t been for a long time. Paramore and the boys outran you years ago, no matter how good your current record sells. Without your friendship to Josh noone would even go to your concerts anymore. Half of your fans know you because they knew THEM first. Brendon…if Fueled drops you, you’ll be a noone again.“ Setting the singer free Brad took a step back, „And we both know you couldn’t stand that.“ 

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SIX MONTHS LATER

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Starring nervously at the paper in his hands Tylers manager tried not to puke when the moderator of the show started to speak. He knew his sign, knew he was about to be up next. It was surreal to sit there, in the same seat he had been a few years before, with the artist he was going to accept now for as well being there. It had been a work – relationship the both of them shared, still the man had always held deep respect for the young musician, recognizing how unique Tyler were and how he built his band with such determination and strong will. Wishing for a miracle, like everyone had, he had accepted only a few days ago, that this was really the end. The band he had acomponied for so long now, the two ambitious guys he had taken under his wing would not return to stage again – not soon enough to be part oft he big circus the industry had become anymore. There had been long talks, with Joshua, the doctors, and even, although through „mediums“, with Tyler himself. They all had tried to figure out a way to speed this up, to release old content, anything that would held them above water until Tyler could at least talk again. But with every day the singer stayed silent the hope he would be able too in the nearer future faded. Noone had been the one who had wanted to make the decission. All of them had turned down the responsibilities, pointing their finger at the next person in line. In the end it had been Tyler, who took a shaky breath, closed his eyes and let them know that it was over. Twentyone Pilots were history. He did not see a way to get on. 

Ripped out of his thoughts by thunderous applause the manager jumped a little as his wife drover her ellbow in his rips and hissed a „It’s your turn!“ at him. He rose, slowly and with a thightened chest, and wandered through the rows of people, up the stairs, into the blinding lights. Smiling a famous actress handed him the Grammy, a special one, kissed him on his cheek and vanished, and irritated he stood there for a moment, gathered his breath, before he walked up to the microphone and cleared his throat. He couldn’t see the audience, and there was not much sound. Everyone held his breath, as everyone knew that now, in this moment, the final chapter of a great band, fellow musicians and friends to some had begun.  
In one of the back rows Brendon gripped the seathandles hard, being thankfull for his wifes hand stroking his strained fingers gently. „I’m here today to say thank you.“ The manager started, his voice wavering slightly. „It’s a thank you I was asked to tell you from the man were going to honour tonight. Tyler Joseph is one oft he most talented persons I ever met in my life, and that he had been hit by this tragedy, will leave all of our hearts sad forever….“ 

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@truceuntilthemorning: Guys…that’s it? Like….really? That’s all? 

@twentyonereasonswhy: I can’t believe they didn’t tell us theirselves! I mean…They were always close to us and now they just leave without even talking to us first?

@unstannedtop: Asshole move. Josh should have been there. But appeareantly he gives a fuck about us all.

@therealslushyguy: Shit, Tyler must be worse then we all thought. I mean…CANCEL the band? Like…completly? I’ll pray for you, bro. You must be done.

@someoneelseshead: Fuck you all! Tyler was always there for you, he always set us above everything and now he has lost the thing that means most to him in life ya all seriously start shitting on him for not coming personally to that show to tell us his dream is dead? All of you selfish fuckers better unfollow me before I come for your sorry asses!

@blurryhands: RIP Twentyone Pilots. It has been a wild ride. I‘m gonna miss you, guys.

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Looking at the TV with hollow eyes Josh didn’t move, he didn’t even breath. He was aware that his siblings watched him, that Ashley came over and put her hands around his neck, hugged him close. He was aware Jordan tried to talk to him, to take his mind of of things. Josh didn’t wanted to recognise them though. He didn’t wanted the reality to set in. He had lost everything he had in a split second, when the tires had squeeled and the glas had shattered. Raising from his seat, shaking his sister from his form he took the next best thing he could grab and drove the lamp into the screen over and over again.

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The room was never fully dark, always trenched in the milky light of the monitors. Tyler had called the doctors out for being overprotective a few times already, but had lost every argument. He still was too weak, too shattered to be left without constant controll, and now that the impact of it all hit him more and more noone wanted to risk it. Sandra had gotten used to it, as well as to the constant noises around them, the hallway, the ambulances reaching the hospital, her friends breath in the bed beside her. Wondering if she’d be able to sleep once she were home the girl gripped the blanket thigther and bit into it’s edge to hold back the sob that wracked through her body. She had healed, at least her wounds, enough that there was no cause to keep here here for longer. Still Sandra knew exactly that leaving him would open new ones that could never be closed again. Tyler had taken the news with a smile, had congratulated her on being able to go home again, but both of them knew what it meant to him. In the past few months Jenna had done incredible in learning his language, had spent hours with the two of them, so she would be able to talk to him and get his thoughts across to others. Still…Sandra knew it was different. None of them could understand. None of them had been there. She would leave more behind than only her leg. She’d leave a part of her soul. 

The motion with which he waved her over wasn’t even that loud, still the girl felt like it echoed through the room, closing the gap of half-dim darkness between them. Whiping her nose she tried to steady her voice, but knew it was to no avail. Tyler could feel her sadness, maybe even before she felt it herself. „I just…I…I can’t leave you behind! You…you never gave up on me, not even when I was just a fangirl listening to your lyrics.“ Closing her eyes to hold back the tears she opened her soul and listened, the foreign thoughts running through her head just like her own. „Come here!“ he told her, softly, without pressure. Feeling semi-automatic the girl followed, sat up, grabbed her crutches and hobbled over, being pulled beside him the second she reached the bed. Physical closeness wasn’t strange for them anymore, and the others had learned to accept it too. Their souls were too aligned to question it. Listening to his constant heartbeat under her ear Sandra knew he could feel the tears soaking his shirt, and stopped holding back. „Sometimes I wish we would have died…I….I hoped so much you’d be able to speak again soon…I… know what this means to you…and to say goodby to the fans. I know you’re not alright, Tyler. And…I’m so afraid of what you’ll do now…“. Sushing her with a soft sound he pulled her closer, sighing into her hair. „You can’t fake me out. I know what you’re thinking. I know what you’re going to do.“ Sandra whispered, linking her fingers with his. Lying in the darkness that threatened to consume them both she took a decission. „But there’s one thing you should know: We are in this together, Ty. If you’re going to do it…If you’re killing yourself…I will do it too.“


End file.
